Nahath the banshee [with picture]
 

Nahath the banshee

Attachment 597706Yes I know the pic is....not very detailed, but one can only do so much with color pencils and in a moving car. But if any is up to the challenge go a head and draw what you guys think she should look like ^^

Damage: 50 (+3 / per level)
HP:400 (+80 / per level)
Mana: 325 (+55 / per level)
Armor: 15 (+3.5 / per level)
Spell block: 30 (+1.25 / per level)
Health regen: 6.5 (+.7 / per level)
Mana Regen: 5.3 / per level)

Passive: If hidden within a bush and has a target she’s about to attack she lets out a scream, scaring anyone nearby, before coming out to attack. she rushes to the targeted enemy, range of 200. Which ever target is attacked it is stunned for .5 seconds. This passive needs a 5 second cool down after each use.

Basic attack: She has sharp clawed hands and slashes enemies.

Q: Soul Lust: she latches onto a targeted enemy that you click and slashes them. After the attack she’ll jump off of them and land a few paces away from the enemy, anywhere you click at, gaining 45% of attack speed for 4 seconds after landing
Cost: 65/70/75/80/85 mana
Range: 800
Cool Down: 12 seconds

W: Stealth: She turns invisible for 7 seconds and gains 5% movement boost, during this time she cannot use abilities nor be attacked. Champions and minions cannot see her, for 2 of those seconds she can see where invisable wards are at, all other items remain invisable. To auto attack is the same as if she is hiding within a bush, but does not trigger a cool down on the passive
Cost: 60 mana
Range: 0
Cool down: 15 seconds

Or

W: screech: she lets out a scream, she doesn't stop running when using this move Sound waves move from her and outward for 5 seconds, a number of damage is caused per second. The longer someone is in this sound wave the higher the damage will be.
Radius: 300
Cool down: 10 seconds

E: Bait: Targets an ally minion and turns their appearance into herself. It only uses basic attacks and it tries to lure enemy champions to the location Nahath is hiding at. Or she can use it to attack or move to a spot (kind'a like Anne and Mr.Tibbers) It gains a third of her total health

Armor:100
Movement: 400
AS: .84
Dmg: 100
Ap: 50

Cost: 50/65/75/90/110 mana
Range: 100
Cool down: 25 seconds

R: Transform: Nahath turns from her human like self to a banshee, she gives out a screech to terrify and stun nearby enemies that lasts for an about 3 second’s. A circle forms around her and if any enemies are in it she starts to absorb their health; and if her health is full then she absorbs their magic instead. But if against a champion that has no mana it only does damage. If a minion that has the effect of Bait, and is within the circle, turns into her banshee form and does forth of the damage than she (the real Nahath gets half of the health and magic it absorbs.) the attack last for 8 seconds.
Full damage: 175/235/350
Cost: 120 mana
Range: 450
Cool down: 172 Seconds

Quotes-
Selected: “I shall feast on the enemy’s souls”
Walking: “I feel their souls”
“lingering lost souls… I will find them”
Taunt: “Want to go to a better place? I’ll help you….with an exchange for your soul.” *laughs*
Joke: “souls, souls everywhere, all for me to eat!”

Want to see more of my Champions? Come to my index then, I will do trade reviews

hmmm.... OP good idea, just reduce the paralysis time and change the q maybe... the E ability could work though.

Bump! Been a week again, please tell me any of your thoughts. Negative or positive I don't care, I enjoy having any type of reply so I can build off of it. See any problems with her please do tell. Have any suggestions for a lore, say so as well. Have a champion you want review on as well? Review mine and I will review yours. Just make sure you post a link

Added pic

I like the Q and the ult. Perhaps you could change the passive to deal more with brush fighting, cause it seems that she's good w/ visual advantages.

update

Alright, let's get this review on the road shall we?

(I had half the thing done but accidentally exited out of the window. My sadness is profound.)


Aesthetics:
I see a woman with claws and spiky wings. I'd say it's a bit basic, but it does a fine job conveying what kind of skills she would have at her disposal.


Lore:
I can't say much about the lore if there ain't no lore. I'll come back to this once you got some lore going.


Skills:
This passive is similar to Rengar's, but it trades range for some strong CC. Considering how short the range is, I think that stun is serviceable in terms of balance. The cooldown isn't a bad idea though.

Is this ability a skillshot, or does it only require you to click an enemy? Also, the attack speed might be unwieldy to use, since you only get one attack off before you have to jump away from your intended target. Assuming you jump away from the target the same distance you used to latch on, you'll be quite a distance away from the enemy so that attack speed wouldn't be that useful against the primary target unless they run directly into you.

Although, if you jump into their escape route, this ability would be significantly more effective. Other possible uses would be using it for extreme mobility, such as jumping away from the tank to close in on a support or carry, or jumping through walls on the second jump. This ability is beginning to sound pretty interesting.

Yeah, I can't really get behind this one. By wards and turrets, I assume that includes anything with True Sight as well. The entire point of True Sight is to counter invisibility, so having an invisibility immune to the very mechanic that was meant to counter it is...distasteful, to say the least. Bearing that in mind, what you'd be left with could be a bit weak. I'll have to check the rest of your skillset to see where Nahath stands in terms of balance.

Few things about this ability that you will want to take a look at. First of all, if pinging can tell an enemy whether or not it's the real Nahath, then an enemy will be able to simply ping and know that it's a fake. Even were that fixed, an enemy will know something's up when one of their enemies creeps are missing from the wave.

Another thing that needs a look is the cooldown. 60 seconds on an ability that isn't an ultimate would feel really unwieldy in combat. Bait doesn't really have the power to justify such a long cooldown as it is.

I can't quite call heads or tails on this one. Assuming the 5 second paralysis is a stun, Nahath would have the most powerful ultimate in the game in terms of crowd control. Use this in the middle of an enemy team and suddenly they're completely helpless against you and the rest of your team for 5 seconds. More than enough time to grab a quick pentakill.

Even further, if using Bait means that the minion will do the same damage as Nahath herself, you are essentially doing double damage against the enemy team, on top of that 5 second stun. What i'm trying to say is that your ultimate may be too powerful.


Final Thoughts:
Nahath has a few problems with her skillset. Not so much with her Passive or Q, but the rest of her abilities need some severe tuning. I'm going to outline the problems with the 3 other abilities, and then i'm going to recommend some ways to fix them.

Stealth - Aside from invisibility, this ability doesn't have much going for it aside from the inability to be attacked. This ability would be quite irritating to play against as is, and the thing about not being visible to turrets and wards is fundamentally unsound.

Such an ability could benefit heavily from a lower duration, and by virtue of balance, a corresponding lower cooldown. The bit about turrets and wards would need to be removed for the sake of balance, but as for the effect of the ability itself, I would recommend using only one of either invisibility or invulnerably, and adding an additional effect to whichever you choose. Preferably something that can augment your offense. Perhaps by allowing your next attack upon breaking stealth to trigger your passive?

Bait - Having a non ultimate ability with a cooldown of 60 seconds is simply not fun for the player. If Bait was so powerful that it needed that high of a cooldown, I would recommend nerfing the power of that ability to the ground, but Bait is actually quite weak already. I don't know what to recommend for this one.

Transform - To put it blunt, a 5 second stun is simply too strong. The duration of the stun would need to be lowered by a significant margin. However, the absorption component would need a different solution, due to Bait being able to essentially double its effective damage.

If balanced around Nahath's damage alone, Bait would make it too strong. If balanced around both Bait and Nahath, then the damage would be too weak without Bait. I don't see any way to balance it without highly restricting the damage of the Bait clone, but that wouldn't be that fun to work with. I would suggest removing Bait from the ultimate's effect, and try to balance it from there.


I apologize if my review seemed a bit harsh. I felt that Nahath had some major issues with her skillset, and decided it would be better if I brought these issues to your attention. If you felt that my analysis was a bit misinformed, by all means let me know.

I hope my review helps you out.

Updated, thank you for your reviews

passive: seems like a short cd for long effect to me. idk, I could be wrong.

q: like fizz's trollpole(E) except you jump on top of an enemy, and jump down, and you get attack speed.

w: interesting enough. but what about champions with oracles? oracles reveals stealthed or invisible champs. and having stealth is bad enough, but being untargetable? will champs with oracles be able to attack?

e: I don't see anything particularly wrong with this.

r: health drain and.... mana drain, correct? generally, this is frowned upon. mana drain is not fun for the enemies or for you. what if your fighting tryndamere and you are at max health? you suddenly drain nothing. just have this do health damage and heal you for a percentage of the health drained.

overall: it is a neat concept, but you should just watch how you go about things and remember the different possibilities(talking about ult: some use rage, some energy, some nothing, so yeah)

Very good concept but I feel like her W is OP. Invisible abilities need not to be more than 4 seconds at level 1 and not more than 8 seconds at level 5.

Similarly, seeing wards is also considered OP generally. Maybe incorporate that in the ultimate somehow if you absolutely need ward-seeing.