So with all the stories about love and stuff I was challenged by a friend to make a love story about my main champ...
Problem is my fave champ is Kog'maw
So I did a cover my eyes and point to random female champ on the champ page.
I had to do a few repicks but I finally landed on a female champ...
Greeeeeaat. Well, its not like any other female champ could of been better.
Now the problem is how to get them to fall for eachother O.o.... man I should not have done this
Part 2 is on Page 2
Part 3 is on Page 6
Part 4 is on Page 7
Part 5 is on Page 8
Part 6 is on Page 8 right under part 5
Part 7 is Page 8 near the bottom
Please inform me of any grammer mistakes and the impressions of the first few chapters.
Chapter 1 Drunk on Duty
The dawn arrives as two cupids fly casually out of a nearby fairy party.
"Dude we are so hammmmmerrrred" *ugh* Says one cupid as he nearly floats into a tree branch, the other follows him and they start chatting in their drunken states.
"Bob, dudeerr...aree urrr ready marrnnn?" says one Cupid. The other Cupid Looks back at him
"Totally, Nick...Errrrr.. What am I gonnrr do again?"
"Dude, you still gotr that workrrrr... Man you are so hammered."
"Dude your hammerred too mann" replied Bob, " I ain't got timerr for workrr... O wait.... I only gots one case left, I can totallr finish this thang manrrrrr" *Hic*
"O really?" Said Nick, "Well sure.. but rrr, you sure you can work like this I mean... we need to pick like... targets *hic* and like their soulmates manr... If we bum out we are gonna be in some deep stuff man.."
"Ahhh don' worry aboutr ittttrrr... I got this!" Stated Bob despite barely being able to hold his bows and arrow straight he flies into a nearby town with Nick following.
"Ughhhm uhh you gotta be careful man... we really should soberrrr upeerr man."
"Aw Gawd mann... uHHH, quit poopin on my day, I just gotta finishr this one up and go get more beerrrr" Slurred Bob. "Heyy I see a dude we can shoot mang...."
"Oh?" mumbled Nick, "Where?" *Hic
"Over there man.... that guy..."
Nick tried to focus his eyes and he caught sight of a moving shape.
The moving shape was Kog'maw, out on his morning stroll to see if there was anything to eat.
"Dude....." Said Nick, "I don't think that thing is a good target man..."
"What?" Bob shot back in a surprised tone of voice, "Mang that totallr looks like an awesome dude, and he ain't gon' get shot either, we need to hit gurls with dis thang mang."
"Whoawhoa brooooo." Said Nick as he stopped Bob from deciding so quick, "I don' thank that is no dude man.... I'm not even sure its even humeyyy dude....."
"O comon mann I gotta go get som' beer after dis jus' wha eva man..."
Both cupids were too drunk to notice that Void beasts were not their usual targets, and looked around for a nearby girl. After a few minutes of following unsuspecting little Koggles (Cupids are invisible) they spied a women a block away.
"Heyyyyy Dude..." Shouted Bob, "I gots oneee... seeee???" As Bob pointed to a women as she walked down the street with both hands loaded with shopping bags.
"O dudee... are those wings manggg" Said Nick...."Man I don't think dis is right mang.."
Bob got impatient, he wanted some more beer and fast.
"Aw comon brooo, no worriesss, you just too hammered mang.. you is seeing shiz.." He pulled back the bow string...
".... We gonna get some Graggaaa Icee after dis?"
"OK we got disss" Cheered Nick and with that, Bob loosed the bowstring.
The Fallen Angel
Morgana walked down the streets with her arms loaded with bags. Flour, pecans, Sugar, Butter, Milk, Cream, just some of the many things she needed to get started at the bakery. It was the one thing she didn't hate. Just as she walked down the street, she spied Kog'maw waddling down the street.
"Ugh" She thought to herself "What an ugly thing, I can't believe I even have to work with that thing sometimes." She stared at Kog from a distance.
"Its probably going around looking for more food, ugh, its never full, disgusting little-"
TWOCKK.... Morgana blacked out.
To little Koggle's surprise
Kog'maw was wandering down the street, his tummy rumbling like an earthquake.
"Getting Hungryyyyyyy" He thought to himself. A good nights sleep put Kog in a good and hungry mood. Just as he waddled down the street he saw Morgana eyeing him.
"Oooooo, its Miss Baker, I can maybe gets tummy yumyumm.... Well.... Malzy said not to mess with fallen Angels. They are very mean. And Malzy said that Morgana is bad bad angel... Koggy is good boy... Koggy will-"
He sees Morganna fall to the ground, and an assortment of eatibles fall out of the bags she was carrying.
"Oooooooooo Food!! Hurrrhrurr" Kog maw rushes over to Morgana, forgetting the entire converation he had with himself a few moments ago.
He extended his tongue and was just about to suck up a fallen apple when Morgana lifted her head. He froze as the previous warnings of Malzahar returned to his head
"Ooooo, koggy is gonna be hurttttttt" Kog'maw closed his eyes and covered his head with his tiny hands. He tensed up as he expected a darkbinding to come flying right into his face.
"Hey there little cutieee"
"Whaaaa?" Thought Kog'maw as he peeked out of his hands. Morgana was right in front of him, as she was sitting on her side in a seductive way. Her eyes were hazy for a second and then become normal coloured once more.
She came close and put her face against Kog's.
"Whaaaaaaaaaa???" This was the first time Malzahar was wrong about something. Morgana wasn't very pain inflicting, in fact she was nuzzling him. Kog tried to ponder this but his brain wasn't so developed as to comprehend his current situation. Kog'maw's previous encounters with Morgana wasn't so pleasant, even though they were on the same team she constantly insulted him and said how easily popped he was. However, this time she was close to him and stroking his cheeks. Not to mention her speech was totally different then what he last heard from her. Instead of cold and angry statements, her voice was soft and a bit alluring.
Kog's mind started farting: "Does not compute, insufficient Vespene Gas" *puttputtputtt*
"Ummmm... Hi morgyyy heheheh" said Kog'maw nervously, Morgana smiled and whispered in his ear.
"Hey there little Koggy, call me Mary, Morg seems a bit dominating I want you to feel right at home......" She blew a small breeze into his ear and Kog chuckled from being so ticklish. Morgana smiled as she saw Kog's childish behaviour. But Kog froze....
"O my o my o my, something is wrongggggggyyyyy" Kog thought to himself, "I should Run, I should Run, run run RUN RUNRU-
"You hungry? My little Kuddles?"
"Wha?" Kog's mind instantly focused on the potential food source. "Mhmmmm... me so hungryyy"
Morgana smiled. She got up and began gathering her dropped groceries. Kog'maw, not knowing what to do, picked up an apple for her. He was half-hoping she had food and half hoping she wasn't going to set the soil under his feed into a burning puddle of death goop.
"Awww, you're so kind, I wanna cuddle you even more now, comon, lets go to my place I've got some Pecan Pie I would love to feed you..." Kog'maw hesitated a bit, but Morgana held our her hand, and he felt reassured. He always needed a guiding figure and he was starting to like this Angel, especially when she had a near endless amount of pie.
"Ooo you're cute" giggled Morgana, "I just wanna Shackle you up right next to me"
As she and Kog'maw each held one bag of groceries, she led him towards her Bakery. Kog'maw was not sure what to make of this, but in his opinion his tummy and not getting blown-up came first. Soon they neared the bakery.
Kog held his breath as he walked through the doors, and the only thing he could do was hope for the best
As Kog’maw walked through the large doors a blast of sweet scented pastries filled his noses. Morgana’s little part time job reflected her abilities perfectly. The room was small, but very cozy. There were tables all covered in a white flour coating, utensils hung on the walls, assortments of fruits and other ingredients were neatly organized on the shelves. Along the walls were several ovens each differing in size. And finally the walls were made of light-brown bricks, making the entire room look like a fairy-tale gingerbread house. But something was lingering along with the smell of the sweet bread. A burnt smell was in the air, and Kog’maw turned to see a barrel full of burnt pastries.
“Mmmmmmmmmmm” Kog’maw hummed to himself as he waddled towards the barrel. Morgana was putting the groceries away on the shelves when she heard the sound of someone eating.
“NomNomNomNom…..” For a second she thought a baby Cho’gath had followed them in but saw Kog’maw eating out of the burnt products bin.
“Oh no Koggy! You don’t have to eat out of that bin; I have something better for you!” Morgana said as she rushed over and lifted Kog’maw’s head out of the bin.
“Its –nom- Ok” said Kog, with his mouth full of burnt cookies, “Anything Morgy –nom- makes and I will eat it-nom- so gooooood” As he swallowed and continued to eat he heard a sob behind him. He quickly lifted his head out of the bin.
“O noesss Koggy made bad talky!” Thought Kog’maw, to his surprise however Morgana gave him a full body hug.
“You are the first person –sniff- thingy that said my baking was good regardless of what I do…. You’re so kind-sniffffff” Morgana look at him with teary face and nuzzled his cheeks. While Morgana was in a love hazed state however Kog’maw’s brain was working overtime.
“Wtf is this ****?” He did not understand what she was doing as she was both happy and crying. Most of the times Kog’maw thought crying meant that you were sad, and was proved correct many times when he managed to land living artillery on that fleeing Teemo, revealing him to the entire team. But this behaviour was the opposite.
“Hmmmmmmmmm” He thought to himself as his brain struggled to keep up with the current situation. But then Malzahar’s head popped into his thoughts. He remembered one of Malzahar’s “How to interact with Valorans” Lessons that he was taught before he was allowed to go out on the streets.
Kog’maw was sitting in a slowly melting desk as Malzahar and Gentlemen Cho’gath was teaching him and a voidling the workings of Runeterra.
“Remember Kog’maw,” Said Cho’gath, you cannot take, ruin, or eat anything that isn’t yours. This world may seem awkward to you at best, but do your best to bear with it Ol’Chap!”
Malzahar started explain here:
“They use a warped version of Equivalent exchange: To obtain one must give up something of equal or more value. Now normally a rock is worth a rock, and a tree is worth a tree-”
“What is tweeeee?” gargled Kog’maw as he raised his tiny arm to ask a question.
“Wha-Nevermind! To us, an object is only worth another object of same properties and dimensions. However these people are perfectly content with giving away pretty much anything for pieces of metal, or in some cases, servicessss.” He pronounced that last word with a hint of disgust.
“Ha!” Said Gentlemen Cho’Gath “It amuses me so, because if we could exchange services for pieces of metal from where we came from, well, we could have taken over this place already! Hahaha…-.“ He saw Malzahar eyeing him with his arms crossed.
“Maybe we should get to the point, no use talking about things we are above doing.”
“Ah yes right-o. Ahem- well the point is; in this plane if you wish to obtain something you must either have something they want, some of the shiny metal everyone wants, or you can trade some services for them….” The rest faded into some ritual about using a white bowl for defecating, but Kog’maw had already forgotten the majority of that lesson and never bothered heeding it.
He now realized (or so he thought) that Morgana was crying because he had not lived up to his part of the bargain. He needed to pay her back with some shiny metal stuff, but he had none on him at the moment. He could go back and land a living artillery on Teemo again, that always gave him some shiny metal, but he couldn’t find Teemo at the moment. So he decided.
“Yes little Kuddles?” purred Morgana as she held him like an overgrown child.
“I can work here? Me can help you, me need to help you for the black stuff Koggy ate.” At this Morgana seemed surprised. Did he not offer enough?
“O you’re so thoughtful! You don’t have to pay me back for those, I was gonna throw those out anyways.” She smiled at him and kept nuzzling his cheeks. And he loved that feeling. “But, you can if you want to; spending time with each other is so romantic…”
Kog’maw’s brain barely took any of that in. All he heard in response to his offer was “No, and then maybe, and then finally yes. Okay! Well that’s one problem solved!”
Kog’maw and Morgana spend morning preparing and baking. While Morgana handled the delicate procedures of decorating and mixing the bread, Kog’maw was in charge of churning the butter/milk into cream, and lifting and inserting pans of pastries into and out of ovens. His tongue was pretty much resistant to anything, so a little heat wouldn’t even singe him. Finally as afternoon approached Kog’maw and Morgana were nearly finished when Kog’maw realized that he was supposed to be back at noon.
“Oh noes! Koggy is late, Koggy promised Malzhy that he no stay past noon!” Kog’maw had forgotten himself through all that work. It was weird because even though it was work, whenever he saw Morgana smile back at him, and toss a bundle of burnt cookies into his mouth. He felt warm and happy. Weird, but he liked it.
Kog’maw started waddling for the door, but Morgana stopped him.
“Wait! Take this before you go.” Said Morgana as she held up a Pecan Pie and Kog’maw took it in his tiny arms.
“Ooooohhh for me?” wondered Kog’maw as he stared at it with all four eyes. It gave off a heavenly smell and seemed to shimmer in its own deliciousness. Morgana smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the forehead leaving a purple lipstick print smack dab on his forehead.
“Come back tomorrow ok? Pinky swear?” She held up her hand and stuck out her smallest finger. Kog’maw however didn’t understand what that meant, but she seemed to want him to promise a return by mimicking her actions. While one hand/ two clawed arm held the pie the other went out and was hooked by Morgana’s pinky
“Okiessss” said Kog’maw in his usual childish tone. Morgana giggled and Kog’maw waddled out the door as fast as he could, forgetting that he still had an apron tied around his waist.
Kog’maw hopped into a little void portal that he summoned up and came out the other side right into the League Of Legends Institute.
The League was shining in golden brilliance as Kog’maw emerged in the League courtyard. He looked around and saw champions out and about. It was break day so no summoning was to be done today and everyone was busy with their activities. Master Yi, Wukong, Akali, Kennen, and Shen and Lee Sin were meditating in the garden. Wukong and Kennen were barely able to keep their rambunctious personality in check and received a sharp rap on the shoulder from Master Yi and Akali when they fidgeted. Sona was practicing her “whatever that stringy thing was” (As known by Kog’maw), near them, and the music gave the air a smooth and crisp feel. Katarina was taking a break under a tree while Cassiopia basked in the sun. Caitlyn and Miss Fortune were practicing their shooting skills a ways away targeting the occasional leaf that fell off trees with extreme precision. Kog’maw then turned to see a two Champions walking out of the Institution, both were arguing fairly loudly, attracting attention from the relaxing champions. Lux and Garen were walking and talking about their usual Demacian schedule, important no doubt.
“But Gareeennn, you didn’t have to stalk us!” exclaimed Lux.
“No! I cannot trust you with that boy! As prodigy as he may be he is still a boy! His urges will overcome his senses!” Stated Garen. Lux eyed him with doubt.
“How would you know you never even had a girlfriend! I bet your’s hasn’t awoken for years!”
“Oooooooooo” exclaimed Cassiopia, “I like thisss one.” Katarina was snorting with laughter. A burst of laughter came from the meditating garden, and was instantly silenced by two sharp snaps.
Kog’maw turned his attention back to Garen.
Garen looked around red-faced.
“Luxanna, you know I care for you very much, and I had no intention of ruining the date. I was totally hidden.”
“We had a fat distorted bush following us for the first hour of the date! And when I thought I managed to lose you when we entered the restaurant we see the exact same bush beside the pot plants with gold armour plates sticking out! It was so embarrassing! Ezreal even said that we should try another day because he was worried about embarrassing me!”
“I’m not fat…” said Garen with a flushed face, “Well, I’m sure he didn’t notice! He probably had something to attend to.”
“Garen! These bushes aren’t the ones in Summoner’s Rift! These are normal bushes! In other words, we have vision even if we don’t have wards or aren’t in the bush with you!” Luxanna sighed. “Garen… I need some space from time to time; I entered the League of Legends with you!” -Garen sniffed in disapproval- “And that was my choice Garen, my choice. And I think Ezreal really understands me.”
“But his pectoral girth isn’t even a third the size of mine-“
The two started bickering again and the courtyard was live with curious spectators. Miss Fortune and Caitlyn came close to get a look at what was going on. Katarina and Cassiopia were both on rolling on their backs laughing and even the meditating garden residents were curious. Kog’maw could see the heads of Shen, Akali, Master Yi, Kennen, Wukong and Sona peeking over a boulder at the two bicking siblings. Lee Sin held a hand up to his ear and continued meditating.
But then Lux saw something on Kog’maw’s forehead that made her stop arguing. She stared at Kog’maw and stopped talking.
“Lux!? Lux!...What are you looking at? Garen turns and sees the mark on Kog’maw’s forehead “Wha-…”
The two Demacians stared at Kog’maw.
“What they looking at?” Thought Kog’maw.
Slowly one by one all the champions, who were curious of the sudden stop in action, came up close to inspect Kog’maw.
At first Kog’maw thought that they wanted his Pecan Pie, so he gobbled it up. But as it was in his mouth the cream and the nutty goodness made him daze off in a blissful haze. Both him and the rest of the champions just stared at each other.
“Garen do you see that?” inquired Lux as she kept staring at Kog’maws forehead.
“Yes… I do is that… Lipstick?”
“Most interesting…” Said Master Yi as his Goggles focused on Kog’maw’s forhead. “Yes most interesting indeed…”
“Impossible!” said Akali as she stared wide eyed at the lipstick stain, “there must be an imbalance in the Order of the world!”
“O myyyyyy” gasped Cassiopia as she stared at the mark “But who?”
“Hey Garen” Said Katarina in a teasing tone, “Looks like even Kog’maw will get some faster than you will be!”
A monkey-like and childish laughter bursted out from the back as Kennen and Wukong laughed at Garen’s embarrassed face.
“Shu-Shut up!” retorted Garen, “This is obviously some…. Some….” He was at a loss for words.
“Kog’maw!” an echoing voice came out from the Institute. The champions turned to see Malzahar floating at the top of the stairs, right in front of the entrance to the league.
Malzahar floated down.
“No attacking another champion outside the arenas.” Said Malzahar, “I’m sure you are all aware of that.”
“We weren’t going to attack him.” Caitlyn assured him, “We were just curious as what that mark is on his forehead.”
“That is not to be of your concern!” Said Malzahar, not even looking at the mark. “Void beings have their own appearances, and shall not be judged by the likes of anyone… And for Void’s sake Sarah, put on a bra or something. That top you are wearing can barely be counted as a shirt.” He turned away and started floating with Kog’maw following closely.
“Interested? Malzy?” Said Miss Fortune in a seductive and teasing tone.
“No,” Replied Malzahar in a calm voice and not even turning around, “but I’d advise all of you females to cover up in the presence of that Yi.” All the champions turned to see every single lens of Master Yi’s goggles focused on Miss Fortunes intentional cleavage.
“Ewwwwww!” cried the female champions, as Miss Fortune held her hand up to her mouth and laughed in triumph.
“Didn’t have enough last time eh Yi?” declared Katariana, and she swung her right foot full force right in between Master Yi’s legs.
*Slam!* “Ooohhhhhhh….” *Thud*
“Master! Master!” cried Wukong as he bounded over “Are you alright?”
“Remember young disciple… it was worth it.” Master Yi smiled broadly “Not a wise decision… But worth it.”
“Come on Cass!” said Katarina, “We're leaving.”
Slowly the Champions left the square and went about their business.
The Discovery Part 2
Kog’Maw followed Malzahar down into the deeper chambers of the League Institute. As Malzahar continued floating, Kog’maw waddled along in his wake. Finally they arrived at a large door (which looked more like a gate), and it parted silently as the two Void-beings approached.
“Home.” Murmured Malzahar as he floated on through. Kog’maw followed and the door closed behind them.
“They moved to candle-lit Victorian-Era chamber where they were greeted by a Gentlemen Cho’gath seated neatly in front of a large dining table filled with an assortment of plates of food: One small human sized dish with an average day to day meal on it. Two large pot-like dishes filled with almost any non-living (they weren’t allowed to eat like they did back in the void) edible dish. In addition there was a little teacup and crumpet set to the side of one of the pots.
“O, Hello little Kog’maw!” Boomed Cho’gath as he greeted them in, “My my, I was beginning to think that you forgot about lunch!” Both Cho’gath and Malzahar chuckled as he said that. To this day Kog’maw has never missed a “feeding time” and being late usually meant that something had held him up.
“So!” wondered Cho’gath, “what happened?”
“Nothing important,” stated Malzahar as he sat down at beside Cho’gath. “The residents of this dimension attempted to ambush Kog’maw at the courtyard. They couldn’t do anything but bully him.
“O Dear me. What a dastardly bunch, Noxians no doubt. That Katarina always seems to want to fight.”
“No” replied Malzahar as he began to eat.
“No?” Said Cho’gath, “What do you mean no? Katarina wasn’t there?”
“No she was there” said Malzahar as he put down his fork. He knew he would have to answer the incoming flow of questions and being in the presence of Gentlemen Cho’gath he would not be allowed to talk with his mouth full.
*Sighhhh* “All of them were there, Noxus, Demacians, Ionians, Pilt, Bilgewater…”
“Katarina, Cassiopiea, Caitlyn, Pirate hoe, Akali, Shen, Kennen, Half-naked Mute Girl-“
“Sona, my dear boy, she is a lovely lady that deserves a name-“
“Ahem, yes continue.”
Sona, Blind monk, the Monkey and his Perverted Master, Garen, and Lux-”
“WHAT?!” Exclaimed Gentlemen Cho’Gath, “Sona AND Lux?”
“Well Sona was minding her own business and playing music-“
“But why Lux?” inquired Cho’Gath.
“How should I know they were all gaping at some mark on Kog’maw,” said Malzahar “And the better question is why should I care?” He put some food in his mouth.
“Well…” Said Cho’gath “Alright, Dig In Kog’maw, sorry to make you wait I know you must be ravenous.” Cho’Gath started to eat too.
“Nahhh *giggle* me no hungry” Replied Kog’maw.
“WHUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAATT?” As both Malzahar and Cho’gath both spat out their food.
“Me said me no hungwy” answered Kog’maw.
Cho’gath looked at Kog’maw and saw the purple lipstick.
“Oh dear oh dear oh dear, Malzahar, maybe they were telling the truth.”
“What?” replied Malzahar, He looked up and finally saw the lipstick mark.
Both of them stared at Kog’maw. There was a large silence between them and Kog’maw kept looking back and forth from Malzahar and Cho’gath to get an answer to what they were staring at.
“Kog’maw,” Said Cho’gath
“Yeshhh?” answered Kog’maw.
“Who gave you that mark?”
“O you mean the little kissy?” Giggled Kog’maw. “Mary did.”
Once again there was a silence.
“Who is Mary?” asked Malzahar.
“She told me to call her Mary. She feeds me lots of pastwes. And has lots of cuddles. Hehehehhee” Kog’maw put both hands on his cheeks and shivered with happiness.
“Do we know this Mary?”
“Ohhhh, yea her name is Morgy and she has big bakery.”
“Morgana!?” Exclaimed Cho’gath. “How in the world!”
Story Continued on later posts I ran out of space