Good day, summoners.
Corporate Mundo here. As Riot’s liaison for financial affairs, Mundo need to keep the money rolling in. Yet against Mundo’s repeated advice, shareholders insist on treating customers like valued partners. Legal no like Mundo’s “Bash Them and Take Their Stuff” memo, and decide to punish Mundo. So Mundo talk sale now.
Look at these champions and skins. Good value, worth a lot, and now offered to you for less than the cost of a good cup of coffee, destroying Mundo’s carefully constructed margin reports! WHY?! WHY YOU HURT MUNDO?!
*Ahem* Sorry. Here are skins and champions, reduced to price levels that probably won’t bankrupt the company.
- Caitlyn, the Sheriff of Piltover. She carry big gun: hurt Mundo’s skin, but help his bottom line. Now on sale for 487 RP.
- Graves, the Outlaw. Smoke Grenade make Mundo smell bad and foil office romance. He only 487 RP now.
- Teemo, the Swift Scout. Mundo just find him darling! Now on sale for only 292 RP.
- Amethyst Ashe glow bright, hurt Mundo’s eyes, but make for pretty arrows. On sale for only 487 RP.
- Cottontail Teemo in bunny suit for maximum cute! It burns! It burns Mundo with fluffy adorableness! On sale for only 487 RP.
- Gangster Twitch look slick in pinstriped suit, though not as slick as Mundo in a double-breasted jacket. Available for 487 RP.
Prices run from Tuesday, April 24 through Friday, April 27, so act now. Mundo’s staff weeping loudly, and the sooner you buy skins and champions, the sooner they stop annoying Mundo with their wails. Now you must excuse Mundo; Mundo have pressing business to attend to.
Mundo said no latte in cappuccino! MUNDO LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!!
Update: Mundo’s staff ignore Mundo memo. Put Evelynn on sale instead of Graves. Mistake make Mundo look foolish. Mundo kill staff, then fix problem. Graves now on sale, not Evelynn. Also, Mundo need new staff. Send resume. Good benefits, steady pay, hardly any killing.