“Yes, well, it isn't easy.” Jayce joked to a throng of reporters, responding to a question about what it was like to be Piltover's greatest and only, and they did mean only line of defense against the forces of evil.
The flash from a hextech camerotron reflected off of his winning smile, blinding the reporters closest to him and dazzling the rest.
The interview was over pretty quickly, and as the reporters filed out of the Fortress of Science, Jayce's personal laboratory, Jayce sat back against his chair, the Throne of Knowledge, finest seat in the Technodome.
He looked out across the city- his city- and smiled again as his assistant Jessica entered to hand him a frosty beverage. Her enormous breasts bounced in the thin fabric of her bikini top.
“Looks like the city is safe again, thanks to you Jayce! Everyone loves and respects you!”
“That they do, Jessica!” Jayce proclaimed boldly in a rich, handsome baritone.
Jayce had made the front page again after his daring apprehension of the villainous outlaw Graves. He'd put his life on the line when he charged into the Outlaw's favorite saloon, narrowly saving the sheriff Caitlyn from being fatally shot despite the fact that Graves had been disarmed and handcuffed prior to his arrival.
Minor details in the life of Jayce, the Hero of Piltover.
Unfortunately, with that excitement over with, it was time to return to the Fortress of Science and watch the Eye of Justice, a massive array of monitors that kept vigil over the city of Piltover and warned Jayce of even the smallest disturbances in his beloved home.
Today it was quiet.
“Hmm,” Jayce hmmed, “I'm concerned, Jessica.”
“About what, Jayce?”
“The eye. It isn't saying anything.”
Jessica put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe nothing's going on?”
“Preposterous!” he boomed, “This is Piltover, the most advanced city in the world! There are countless villains all trying to break in and take everything we've worked so hard to create! If the Eye thinks it's all clear...”
“...Then clearly someone's tricking it, Jayce.” Jessica agreed. “Well, don't worry. I'll take care of that. You on the other hand have an appointment to keep!”
Jayce frowned. “I do?” He tipped his glass back to take a long drink of his lemonade.
“Yes. You're supposed to meet with the Academy of Scientific Advancement this afternoon to unveil your new arcane power converter.”
Jayce spat lemonade in a wide cone in front of him. A tiny panel in the wall across the room slid open and a small, disc-shaped robot came over to clean up the mess.
“That's today? I thought it was next week!”
“I've been reminding you for the past month and a half.”
Jayce frowned, “Tell them it was stolen.”
“Stolen? Then they're going to expect you to get it back.”
Jayce waved his hand dismissively, “Let me handle that. You figure out what's wrong with the Eye, I need to... go get my arcane power converter.”
Jessica just smiled and nodded. He probably hadn't even begun work on it yet.
In his Room of Seclusion, Jayce fretted heroically. He hadn't even begun work on it yet! How was he supposed to whip up the plans for an arcane power converter in less than three hours? He wasn't a magician! He didn't even know what an arcane was!
He began to pace. Settle down Jayce, settle down. He was Jayce, after all. Jayce Always Has A Plan! That's what the posters for his Saturday morning television show said, and by goodness, he would have a plan.
And just like that, there it was.
He walked forward and stood before a rectangular case hanging on the wall. The front of the case was made of glass and read, in bold red lettering, “IN CASE OF PREDICAMENT, BREAK GLASS.
Without hesitation, Jayce put his fist through the wall of the case and sent tiny shards of glass tinkling down around him. It was a majestic scene. Then he withdrew the Mercury Hammer from its resting place and bolted from the Room of Seclusion, down the Stairway of Translocation, through the HALL OF TOMORROW and into the Motor Pool of Fantasical Locomotion.
There he hopped upon his third-finest invention (the first being the Mercury Hammer, and the second being Robo-Dog Jayce's half-dog, half-robot companion), the Cycle of Velocity.
He gunned it, barely giving the Door of Impeded Entry enough time to get out of his way, and in moments he was out of the city and headed to the Southeast.
“Finally, after a decade of toil I have done it!” Viktor the inventor raised all three of his hands to the sky in triumph. “My new techmaturgical filtration system will once again make Zaun's tap water safe for human consumption! Why, within a matter of years we may even see a reversal in the heavily-contaminated soil as well! Trees in Zaun! Won't that be something?”
Viktor looked at his mechanical hand. It was times like this in which he wished he'd built two so that he could applaud his own hard work... since it seemed like no one else ever would. But for now, a high-five would suffice.
This would be the finest of Viktor's inventions that hadn't been stolen by a rival. This would be the achievement that redeemed him in the eyes of the public. When they saw that he was still capable of pure, benevolent genius...!
And then Stanwick would -PAY-
It was fortunate that Viktor had made his filtration system compatible with his second-finest invention that hadn't been stolen yet: The arcane power converter. Now that was a solid piece of hardware!
Viktor had just taken a bottle of Bandle City Port out of his desk drawer, a bottle he'd been saving for this day, when the door to his laboratory was blown clear off its hinges to imbed itself in the far wall. Viktor turned, quickly trading the bottle of wine for his staff.
“Who goes there?” he queried.
Jayce entered, hammer in hand.
“Ah, Jayce! You're just in time, I was about to open this bottle of Bandle City port and I had no one to share it wi--”
“Stop right there, villain!” Jayce commanded. Viktor, by virtue of not having been doing anything when the command was issued, automatically complied.
“Hand over the arcane power converter!”
One of Viktor's glowing yellow eyes dimmed slightly, a simulation of the act of lowering an eyebrow in confusion.
Jayce didn't wait for his defense. He lunged forward with a hammer, delivering a powerful sweeping strike the knocked the mechanical man flying into a pile of discarded parts.
“What are you doing?” Viktor asked, mostly unphased by what would have been a fatal impact to someone still made of flesh and bone.
Jayce rooted through a pile of schematics on Viktor's desk, grabbed one, then held it out towards the inventor.
“Taking this.”
“But, but that is my arcane power converter!”
“Correction, now it's my arcane power converter.”
“No! Not again! Why must all of my most brilliant plans be taken from me?”
Jayce fled from the lab, schematic in hand, and Viktor heard the roar of his Cycle of Velocity as it sped away from the scene.
Viktor picked himself up slowly from the pile and pulled a number of sharp objects from his mechanical body. He looked at the bottle of wine sitting untouched on his desk.
Well, at least it wasn't a total loss.
“Yes, well, it wasn't easy.” Jayce joked to a new throng of reporters, responding to a question about what it was like to recover his stolen plans from the clutches of an evil, foreign-sounding inventor. And also being Valoran's greatest and only (and they did mean only) line of defense against the forces of evil.
“Amazing!' said one reporter, “We didn't even know Viktor was evil!”
“You're right,” agreed another, “We should vilify him immediately!”
The reporters filed quickly from the Fortress of Science to report that not only was Jayce an even greater hero than they realized, but also to warn the world against mechanical men- especially ones who sounded like they 'weren't from around here, if you knew what we meant.'
Jayce reclined into the Throne of Knowledge to wait for another glass of lemonade.
It wasn't easy to be the world's greatest hero... But he sure made it look that way.
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