Originally Posted by Thorthedark
While not gay myself I hope this helps you understand.
Sure it may mean the same thing as slang, but then you could argue n*gger and african american or black person are the same thing. It may represent the same people, but one is highly offensive and was brought into vocabulary to offend people.
The word was never intended to be used as friendly banter, it was used to cast people down.
Yeah, but why did people start to get offended initially by it? For example, racists called black people black using the word n*gger. They were calling them black and they were insulted by that. Why?
I mean, it was probably accompanied by tones of mocking and humiliation so the victims of harassment connected the word n*gger with insults, but I believe it was a wrong connection to make. It's not the words themselves that insult, it's the intent, tone of voice and all the subtext behind the said words.
So, all those "insulting words" are loaded. They have a commonly placed subtext behind them. Does that mean that every time such a word was used, it creates that intent? I don't think so. As I said, I often call my gay friends f*ggots and we are all ok with that. It's the intent that matters.
But still, I can't understand why someone would get insulted by a word without intent. My mistake here could be that I'm too logical about this, while it's an emotional thing, but it stays beyond my understanding.
Sry for long post, I've been questioning and answering myself and writing helps me organize things. I'd still like to hear other people's thoughts.