Good afternoon Renekton Bot. To answer your questions:
1) What's a "Chief Executive Officer" and what does he do? Is it the boring stuff? If so I'll keep Ryze around.
Ryze spends most of his time pursuing ancient arcane tomes and tracing strange glowing shapes in his library. I'm always outside in the practice yard, so I don't see him much.
2) I've seen a lot of movies that have corporate leaders in tense, uncomfortable meetings with overseas businessmen. Will I have to have a lot of those?
Most of my meetings end in a pentakill, so I assume you'd have a similar experience.
3) How much security will I have to cut through when I come to claim my throne?
You'd just have to come through me - I don't need guards.
4) How thick are the walls where you work? Will I be able to E through them to save time? Do you do that with spinning slash?
The walls near my desk can all easily be avoided by executing a flawless spinning slash, yes.
5) About how hardy are the interns there? I get pretty mad sometimes, and I usually let my fists to the talking. What I'm asking is, are we going to have a high turnover rate?
That would work well. The interns are well accustomed to slaughter.
6) I have a business degree from the college of coughcoughhrm. It's written right here on this sheet of looseleaf paper. Will that help at all?
All you need is your weapon. Leave that paper stuff to the mages.
7) What's the busiest day for Riot Games, and when would be the most inopportune time for me to show up and overthrow the chain of command?
Probably our bi-weekly ritual where we execute those in the tribe who have disobeyed my commands. I'm usually pretty distracted with all the head-lopping.