Originally Posted by Ask Drav
Draven read Riven`s latest reply and sighed before using his pocket dimension to make a pathway to the Exile`s quarters personally. Upon arriving he leaves the pocket and addresses her letter.
I think you`re putting a little too much guilt on yourself.
Why does it seem like I am the only Noxian around here whose not afraid to live? There will always be a clear cut time to get serious and drop all pretense but for someone like you I think you should take a break and try living a bit.
You make it sound like you caused the entire Ionian occupation.
No matter how many times it happened, Riven still hated people suddenly arriving without warning. She sighed in frustration, put down her pen, and stood.
"Of course I didn't cause the entire occupation. I was just a small part of it, but I took my fair share of lives, and followed more than my share of orders. People that haven't experienced what I've lived through and done will NEVER understand." She pointed at Draven.
"And who are you to tell me how to live my life, huh? You kill and make a spectacle out of it, all for the state, and in front of thousands of cheering fans. Have you ever had to slay a family because you were following orders? Have you ever had to live with the looks of horror plastered across the faces of innocent people, civilians, not even soldiers! As you burned their homes and razed their farms to the ground! Have you!" She took a step forward.
"Saying I was just following orders doesn't make it right or acceptable! It doesn't make me any less of a monster or cleanse the blood from my hands!" She slammed her clenched fist against her chest. "I live with that carnage every single day of my life! And yet, here you are! You show up unannounced to my quarters, come in here, and try to tell me to 'just live' a little? I forfeited that right when I stole that chance from hundreds of other people!" She breathed hard for a few seconds before she slumped.
"Then, I lead Fury Company onto that field of death. We were outnumbered, destined to be defeated. I shot a distress flare, calling for backup, and what came for us?" Her amber eyes bore into Draven's. "Death. Cold and honorless. Flesh turned to goo, screams rose on both sides. By sheer luck, I lived. There was no strength or skill involved. I lived because I got lucky... It could have easily been me that melted, along with the rest of my family, all because my home gave the order to decimate us." Riven sighed once more and shook her head.
"You talk about living, but I died on that field with everything else that day. The person I was back then died too. She was decimated as easily as all the men and women caught under the rain of stinking chemical death." Her gaze once more turned to meet Draven's with a cold huff of a laugh. "I'm alive in only the technical sense. I breathe, I eat, I'm sentient and aware, but my life? My life I live for them. For those who were lost..." Her eyes burned with the hard resolve of a soldier about to march headlong into a battle she knew she may not walk away from, and of someone who knew but one path to walk to achieve everything they had set out to do.
"And until the day comes when Noxus is finally reforged by the strength of my blade and my resolve, until the souls of the slain are given peace and respite from the wrongful and dishonorable deaths they were given, until Valoran is safe from another genocidal occupation and more meaningless death and loss, that is the only goal that gives what others call 'my' life meaning."
[CENTER]"I'll live for them, and nothing else."[/CENTER]
Riven crossed her arms and turned away from the Noxian "entertainer". "You don't have to agree with it, you don't even have to like it. But, you WILL deal with and accept it. I lived and fought on the terms of others long enough. Doing that lead to a dead end, literally, for myself and many many others who are not here today because of those ideals. So, I'm done with that. The rest of my life will be lived on my own terms, and I will fight for my own goals and ideals, and if anyone wants to challenge them, then I have an army of support behind me..."
As Riven turned to face Draven once more, the man would almost swear he could see her standing at the front of a column of men and women, standing with her rank and file, banners tall and blowing in the breeze as she marched with them, headlong, into battle. "I fight with all my spirit, and with all the strength of the fallen, and though some cry out to me, asking me why, some seeking revenge, I know in my heart that there are those that are with me, every step of the way. I may just be one person...but I have the strength and will of over a hundred at my back, and in my heart. I will reforge Noxus, or die trying, and nothing short of death will stop me, because failure...is not an option." Draven would likely blink, and when he did, the illusory vision of Fury Company, and fallen Ionians would vanish, leaving just he and Riven.
"So, think what you like about me. Think I'm foolish, think I'm being irrational or illogical, but it will not change how I feel about how I wish to live the rest of my life. I was given a second chance to live, and as all of Valoran is my witness, I am damn sure not going to waste it by doing something simple and meaningless. And, when I finally do die, I want to be able to look back on the life I have lived by my own ideals and choices, and know that I have lived a good life, not just for myself, but for others as well. So, ask yourself this..."
"Is how you choose to 'live' your life any better than how I choose to 'live' mine? Because, honestly, I don't think you can tell me that it is. And, if you do, then I believe you are the one who needs to learn what living is truly like..."