Greetings, mortal fools! My name is Renekton, and as part of my tribunal-mandated rehabilitation I've been required to get a part-time job. Due to my endless disdain for you disgusting soft-skinned monkey-sheep and my insatiable lust (literally lust) for blood and carnage I've decided to become an intern at the old Journal of Justice office because it's empty and some guy left all of his alcohol behind.

My first task, according to this memo that is not addressed to me, is to go through the mailbag and answer questions from our dear readers. Unfortunately, as I discovered a few minutes ago, the mailroom seems to have been cleaned out when the Journal was shut down and everyone was fired. That means I'm going to need some new letters pronto or I'm going to be fired, too. My boss, being imaginary, cannot be slain by traditional means so this is sorta non-negotiable.

Send in any questions you might have about anything in Runeterra. I may not be native to this world (that may change though, somehow I guess?) but I've managed to get a handle on this world's rich and pathetic history that far surpasses even the oldest mortal history-loving idiot's knowledge.

Actually I'm going to take a nap first. Then I'll answer them. See you guys in a little bit.


edit: Nap over, questions answered:

First Batch - Nasus, the Presidency, Clones Mt. Targon and Ninjas
Second Batch - Nasus again, Shyvana, Crocodiles and Cheating (and Ninjas again)
Third Batch - Stuff about me, my homeworld, Teemo, and something else I forget.
Fourth Batch - re: The Void and other important things (Lux).

How much do you hate Nasus, in the form of a song?

What does Elise think of Yordles?

Can Zergs and RuneTerrans ever live in harmony, by which I mean allowing the Zerg to infest them?

If Vi has the punch, who has the falcons?

"Dear Renekton Bot,

What ever happened to you assuming the presidency of Riot Games? Did the thought of battling against Tryndamere turn your bowels to water and make you chicken out? I await your snivelling, cowardly response."

(Also, yay Renekton Bot)

Does Zed play board games with his clone?

Does Shaco or LeBlanc?

Does Shaco's clone actually exist? I mean, it's called Hallucination...

Does Skarner sleep curled up like a kitten, and what's his attitude toward Taric?

Boss, how hot is it back home?

Who's your favourite IEM Kantowice Summoner and why?

Also how's your bladder doing?

Why are a lot more champions coming out of the Shadow Isles now? Also, how does it make you feel now that there are so many Shadow Isles champions that want to spread fear into people's hearts. I think that's direct competition.

Has Ahri broken up with you yet?

Why is it that champions that have wings/can fly cannot change altitude? Is there a law that doesn't allow them to fly above a certain limit?

The inhabitants of Mount Targon possess a thirst for war that is perhaps only surpassed by your own thirst for a steaming hot cup of Nasus's blood. How do you feel about the Rakkor and the champions that hail from the mountain (Pantheon, Leona, and Diana)?

How would you fight Hecarim or Thresh outside the League? I am assuming they are both ethereal, and as such are immune to physical weapons. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Do you think Riven would date a guy like me?

Hows the whole Ninja order war affecting Ionia? the old Ninja Order was attacked and nearly wiped out by Zed's order of shadows. Has the Ionia government stepped in, do they have any ties to the ninjas or is this an internal conflict, are things across Valoran slowly spiraling into chaos without the old ninja order to keep balance from the shadows?