When I was young, someone once told me an inspiring story about a tortoise that was challenged to a race by a poorly mannered lagomorph. Luckily for this ambitious reptile, the hare also suffered from a tragic (and poorly timed) case of narcolepsy, resulting in a somewhat less than expected outcome to the competition. The moral of the story? Speed isn’t everything. Sometimes it just takes an indomitable spirit and an armored outer shell. Now, I wanted to bring along a tortoise for emphasis, but they were on back order over at the local pet shop. As a result, I had to make do with this turtle.
While it is true that slow and steady wins the proverbial race, on occasion there’s something to be said for speed. After all, even though the tortoise beat the hare, he might certainly have won a time trial barring some irresponsible napping. Now, in this particular instance, I don’t have a hare. Fortunately for all of you, I’ve got a bear. And while they aren’t particularly similar, they do rhyme, which should count for something. And just to make him look a bit more hare like, we’ve added some antlers for good measure. Don’t question it. Udyr has always had impeccable taste in headgear.
Now, you probably thought that the story was over now that I’ve run myself out of those animals traditionally featured in that particular fairy tale. Fortunately, I have it on good authority that the most expedient route between two points is “as the crow flies.” Fiddlesticks absconded with all the non-mythical birds in my aviary, however, so you’ll have to measure the accuracy of the statement using this phoenix that I found out in the yard. And if you see a man in a funny hat whilst you’re out there, give him my best regards.
Also, while I’d be willing to bet that children’s stories starring great cats of one variety or another abound, but, fortunately for you, my mother never told me any of them. And since I find myself woefully unable to somehow ratchet the majestic beast into my previous allegory, I’m afraid you’re going to just have to accept this tiger at face value. I hear that Udyr looks good in stripes.
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