We are gathered here today to remember our friend. Urf. You were the love of all our hearts. Today though, you have been stricken down. You were taken before your time and the world grieves its loss. Words, simple English words, can not even begin to describe the heartbreak that we all suffer. However, I will do my best since it is my duty as a member of your most holy church, The Church of the Spatula and the Fish.
You taught us that life is like a spatula and fish. The spatula is a tool, used to lovingly craft different culinary perfections. The fish, is commonly used as food in many parts of the world. You told us that everyone around us is like a fish. They live their lives day in and day out in a community, a school, if you will. Never realizing that there is anything beyond their small world. You then taught us that we are to be like a spatula. Everyone we meet we should show adoration and loving care towards so that we might craft their lives into ones of peace and perfection so that they might find harmony in others and that others might find harmony in them.
Urf. You were the greatest of us all. Everyone you met was instantly transformed by your "spatula." We were all touched in our own little ways, but now you have left us, and it is up to us to carry on your sacred teachings to others so that they might learn the truth.
It is true that sadness weighs heavy on our hearts today, but there is joy as well. For we know that you have joined the great Mermaid in the sky, and that together you swim and frolic among the stars. May we one day be as blessed as you and join you there.
Join my my brothers and sisters as we close in prayer.
O' Great Mermaid in the Sky. All glory and greatness come from you, O' wise one. You have made all of us as you saw fit, but today you have a new companion with you. Please welcome home our friend and your prodigal son, Urf the Manatee. Please forgive him for leaving you, but it was his great love for all the peoples of your world that made him leave. He merely wished to save us from our sins ans sufferings. So we humbly beg of you, take home your son and may you take home us as well when our time comes. Thank you.
In the name of Urf the Manatee, son of the Most High Mermaid,