Originally Posted by Pirateelfdog

Lore for Cedric, the Blade's Anger:

Cedric had always been a swordfighter. He quickly rose to the top during his life in Demacia, and then moved on, traveling Demacia, Noxus, and anywhere else he could travel. Everywhere he went he fought, and every fight he won.

There's some minor grammatical erros here and there, but what this paragraph leaves me wondering is what he rose to the top of. Was there some kind of swordsmen's circuit, or did he just go from one random person to the next and challange them to duels? Make sure to insert snippets of details here and there.

I'd also like to know where Cedric learned to be a sword fighter. Was her trained by someone, or did he learn by doing and was just naturally tallented?


One day, Cedric came to a place he had never been before. It was a hill with a fence around it, and a sign that read “SWORDSMAN BEWARE.” Cedric took this as a challenge, and slashed down the fence. He climbed up to the top of the hill where he saw, siting on a pedestal, a sword. He approached it cautiously, when suddenly the blade flew up on its own accord and flew at him. Cedric’s instinct took over and he battled the blade, which was a better swordsman than any opponent he had fought.

This is a good premise for a short bit of lore. Cedric's Hubris is obviously what gets him in this situation. However, you might want to add subtly. "Swordsman Beware," is a little vague. It could be a cursed blade that's going to jump to life and murder him, or it could be an active volcano.

You want your threat to be more vague and mpre specific at the same time. If the sign says "Dange ahead," then Cdric doesn't have the same prideful apearence than if you give an alternative, such as "Unwinnable Challange over there."

Actually, if you want, you could have someone tell Cedric that he will find exactly what he seeks at the top of the hill. Alternatively, have this warning seek him out.


The fight lasted for hours as night fell, but Cedric couldn’t figure out how to defeat the sword. He was also tiring. Finally, the sword managed to disarm Cedric. It thrust itself into his body, and Cedric crumpled, waiting for death.

One thing you could change in this section is how often you use the words "Cedric," and "sword." You can always use Pronouns like "him, his, and he," and "it," to keep your sentences frome becoming repetitive. Alternatively, you can use descriptives to add color to your phrases. Instead of "the sword," try something like, "the phantom blade," or "inhuman opponent." Instead of "Cedric," try something like, "indominable swordsman," or "peerless fighter."

But death did not come. As Cedric sank to the ground, the sword began to glow with a red light, feeding upon Cedric’s life. The red light seemed to seep into Cedric, filling his head with whispers. As the sun rose, Cedric pulled the blade from his chest. His wound healed instantly. The blade had spoken to him, corrupting him and driving him insane. He focused, and the blade let out a blast of energy it had stored. He felt power surge through him.

In this paragraph, you've left me wondering what kind of insanity the sword gives to Cedric. Is it filling him with its will? Does it just want to cut things? Here is an excellent oppertunity to use adjectives and descriptives. Go into detail, very fine detail, so we know just how evil/crazy/violent Cedric has become.

Also, and this is just me nitpicking, in your third sentence, you say: "The red light seemed to seep into..." When you say seeped, you're changing your perspective. inittially this seems to be set from either Cedric's perspective, or an impartial viewer. By saying "seemed," you change the perspective to someone observing the situation, but who is a part of the story. But that's just the grammar nazi in me .


Cedric traveled for a long time, feeding power in to his blade. The more he fed it, the stronger it got. When he hear about the League, he joined without a second thought, ready to feed the sword all that he met.

What you've left your readers wondering here, is what exactly the sword is feeding upon. It's implied that he's offing people and that feeds the sword. Does it souls, or blood, or jusrt violence? These are the things we want to know.

Endless slaughter is not useless, if it has purpose. -Cedric, the Blade's Anger