"Purple team has destroyed an inhibitor," the announcer said in almost a bored tone.
Irelia sighed, the enemy team had pushed almost all of their towers. Their nexus towers and a lone tower at bot lane were the only ones standing. Most of her team had given up. Sivir was spinning her boomerang on her fingers, Zilean was tinkering with his clocks, and Nunu was doing...whatever it was that kids who ride yetis do when they are bored.
The only one with any sort of energy left was Pantheon. He could see his large grin even through the veil of darkness that covered his mask.
"I can help us win," he stated.
"No, we are not doing this. I told you a million times," Irelia responded.
"I know how much you hate me for ruining countless other matches, but this time, you're on my team. I can help you win." Pantheon pleaded.
"They're already heading towards Baron Nashor, it doesn't matter anymore. Once they get it, they will be unstoppable." Irelia was losing hope very quickly.
"Please," Pantheon retorted
"No," Irelia responded
"If you do this, I'll bake you a caaaaake."
"NO!!!" Irelia shouted.
"Purple team has destroyed a tower," The announcer said. The enemy team had destroyed the lone tower at bottom, exposing the inhibitor behind it.
"Last chance," Pantheon said.
Irelia grumbled and mentally kicked herself. How could she allow herself to become part of Pantheon's cheating spree? As the enemy team beat down on their nexus she finally agreed. "Fine!" she shouted.
Pantheon grinned and after a quick explanation to the entire team, was ready for the plan.
"Alright Irelia, ready?" Pantheon asked. She sighed.
"Yes, I'm ready." Irelia threw her four blades on the ground, allowing Pantheon to place his feet on them. Irelia concentrated her energy and lifted him up. Pantheon had trouble getting his balance but was soon surfing on it like a pro.
"EVERYONE.....ready the buffs," Pantheon's tone was downright diabolical. Nunu blood boiled the spartan, Zilean time warped him, and Sivir shouted, signaling The Hunt. Pantheon was panting in adrenaline as Irelia surged him forward towards the enemy team.
Sion was the first one to be introduced into the Flying Spartan Missile of Death. He was walking up the lane when Pantheon approached him. The Rakkor spun his heel ever so slightly, letting the blade pass right through Sion's neck.
"An enemy has been slain"
"DECAPITATIOOOOOOOON!!!" Pantheon shouted as he passed, "MUHAHAHA!!" he laughed.
Sion watched as his body fell uselessly to the ground. "I'll be back!!! I PROMISE!!" Sion shouted to the flying Rakkor before dying.
"What just happened?" Sejuani asked as she began running down the same lane Sion had been running.
"That dirty ape Sion appeared to have been slain," Heimerdinger said as his tiny legs struggled to keep up with the boar-riding woman. Sejuani merely grunted.
"INCOMING!!!!!!" Pantheon shouted. The front of his shield smashed directly into Bristle's snout, a loud thump resonating the very air around the crash. The boar reared up from the strike. Sejuani shouted desperately at her boar to fall back down forward. But of course, the giant-pig fell on top of her, crushing her under its weight.
Heimerdinger witnessed the quickly-approaching enemy and began to try and run away. His tiny legs kept him from travelling very far before Pantheon got a fistful of the yordle's hair. "Hey there little guy!" Pantheon grinned as he stared into Heimerdinger's fear-filled eyes. "Up you go!!" He said, tossing the yordle high up into the air.
"What the hell is going on!!!" Ezreal shouted. Him and Lux ran side by side. They had been far behind their allies. "Lux, fire your laser!" Ezreal shouted.
"DEMACIA!!!" Lux shouted as her baton spun in front of her and shot a burning beam of light. Though it didn't seem quite right. Her beam shot at an upward angle and seemed to be getting more steep by the second. When her beam dissipated, she was met with a large plate of bronze striking her square in the chest as it flew horizontally.
"Who is doing thi-" Ezreal never finished as Pantheon's spear impaled him.
"PENTA KILL!!! Ace!"
Irelia face palmed as her team celebrated. "Oh god I've created a monster," she whispered to herself.
Regulation #105a (addenum): Pantheon is no longer able to utilize anything that isn't his own spear and shield.
Regulation #104: Irelia can no longer use her blades as a surfing board.