after fully grasping the possibilities of this spell i give you a bonus point for originality because i can...
it is my system after all i can do what i want :P

this skill has so much utility and potential it is groundbreakingly amazing I fear that in my lack of understanding i docked you 5 points for no good reason. 24/25 only because i still say that the apen is a little too high. I wouldnt go above 40%

total review score adjusted to 150/150

I adjusted the Aegis Severer again.

Now the Armor Penetration for the ability does not scale like 10/20/30/40/50% anymore.

Instead it now just has the base of 10% with a 0.06 per Ability Power scaling. It would require you to have 500 ability power with that scaling to reach 40%.

This note was also added into the ability below it:

~ The armor penetration of this ability makes it so that you have to build AP not only for the damage scaling, but for the Armor Penetration scaling as well. At 0.06 scaling added to the 10%, you would need 500 AP to reach a 40% penetration total (i.e. 10+(500 * .06) = 40). This is so that the player has a harder time stacking with items like Black Cleaver or Last Whisper. If you buy thing like that, you may gain the AD and Armor Pen, but you miss out on the AP needed for the scaling of this ability.



Thoughts?
- Kat




P.S. Thank you again for your time.

well done +1 although i can't say scores should exceed 150 and also there are always minor tweaks we can do nothing is ever truly complete.

maybe spruce this up with some ability icons and visual fluff. I think you are on your way

Oh, I wasn't trying to go over 150. I was just trying to improve Shia on points that were mentioned, to better help balance the abilities.

At the moment, while I'm not taking any English classes this semester, I've found a couple of English teachers at my college to look over Shia's lore to help with wording and grammatical errors. Will update the lore at a later date once it is corrected.

Also looking into getting art for both Shia herself as well as for the abilities.

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A couple posts back I mentioned that I was going to post comparisons of the two main walls currently in League to Shia's Veil of Shadow. So here that is:


Anivia's W: Crystallize
Range: 1000
CD: 25 sec. (all 5 ranks)
Cost: 70 / 90 / 110 / 130 / 150
Damage: - / - / - / - / -
Duration: 5 sec. (all 5 ranks)
Wall Length: 400 / 500 / 600 / 700 / 800
~ Brief channel time of 0.2 sec.
~ Creates an impassable wall. It can still however be jumped/ flashed/ blinked over.
~ Grants vision around the wall for a decent radius. Ward range vision (estimate).
~ Pushes enemy's aside if created on them.

Karthus' W: Wall of Pain
Range: 1000
CD: 18 sec. (all 5 ranks)
Cost: 100 (all 5 ranks)
Damage: - / - / - / - / -
Duration: 5 sec. (all 5 ranks)
Wall Length: 800 / 900 / 1000 / 1100 / 1200
Wall Width: Appears to be 50% wider than Anivia's Wall (estimate).
~ Grants vision around it. Estimated vision range at (1300 / 1325 / 1350 / 1375 / 1400).
~ Any enemy that touches the wall has reduced Magic Resistance by 15% for 5 seconds.
~ Any enemy that touches the wall is slowed by (40 / 50 / 60 / 70 / 80)% for 5 seconds.
~ Karthus' wall does not impede or abilities, and while it slows, it is still passable.

Shia's Main Body's W: Veil of Shadow
Range: 800
CD: 30 sec. (all 5 ranks)
Cost: 90 / 105 / 120 / 135 / 150
Damage: - / - / - / - / -
Duration: 3 / 3.5 / 4 / 4.5 / 5 sec.
Wall Length: 400 / 550 / 700 / 850 / 1000
Wall Width: Half the width of Anivia's Wall.
~ Shia creates a thin wall of shadow's at target location.
~ If the thin wall hits an enemy champion upon being created., they flee in the opposite direction from Shia for (1 / 1.5 / 2 / 2.5 / 3) seconds.
~ After the wall is created, it will no longer apply flee to enemy champions if they touch it.
~ Veil of Shadow blocks vision for enemy like a wall or brush (explained in an earlier post with pictures.
~ Veil of Shadow does not impede movement or abilities.
~ Allows allies to gain a small passive MS speed based off of Shia's E's level, for the duration of the wall.
~ Doesn't grant vision.



Some comparisons:
~ All walls have a similar length. Shia's is averaged between the two.
~ Shia's is the only one that does not grant vision (cannot see in the shadows anyway).
~ All walls have high mana costs and cooldowns. Each based of of utility.
~ Anivia's impedes movement. Karthus' slows and reduces MR. Shia's impedes vision and causes a flee.
~ None of the walls deal damage.
~ All walls have the same duration of 5 seconds at rank 5. However Shia's starts out with a shorter duration and scales up to 5, while the others get 5 seconds at all ranks.
~ Shia's wall was also given a shorter range (800 compared to the 1000 the other two get) because of the flee it applies.
~ Anivia's wall is the only wall with a channel time (while only 0.2 sec). Shia's and Karthus' walls are cast instantly.
~ The selected target location when summoning a wall is the center of that wall. All walls are summoned perpendicular to their caster. (All walls cast the same way.)



- Kat

Sounds awesome!

Here's the rough draft for it. Let me know what you think!

Shia, the Void's Timid Doppel

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to draw Shia. I honestly didn't think of the gloves. It's a nice touch. Only thing on the dress that I would change would be how tight it is around her legs. While it is nicely done (I am quite fond of it), if Shia was ever made, I'd have to wonder if she could run in it. The dress may have to be a bit wider then and flow a bit, or if it was left tight like that, it may need a slit in one side so she could take a stride.

I do like it a lot, and thank you again for taking the time to draw it.


-------------------------


On a note on Shia, her lore has been updated. I actually found an English teacher that had free time today and worked for about 30 min on it correcting grammatical errors and making everything flow better.

Hope it turned out well. Let me know what you think.



- Kat

My pleasure! Though I'll tackle it again when I get more paper. Is the slit the only thing that would be recommended or would you just rather have it more 'flowing'? Also any details in regards to its design? This was just the trial run for Shia.

Also noticed I didn't mention, but I like how you did the simple cape over her shoulders. It hangs nicely down her back giving the outfit a bit of flare without being gaudy and it doesn't look like it would get in the way in a fight.

I do prefer the flowing a flowing dress over a tight one with a slit.

I kind of imagined a dress that could flow out a bit for times when say she is using her Waltz in the Light. She does a quick spin during that and it would look nice if the dress could flow out a bit when doing so.

On to examples. While I can sew and have made many costumes, I have never made a dress before. Therefore I know little about them, making it hard to describe what I'm thinking. Also, it is very hard to find pictures of dresses you're imagining on the internet when you don't know the correct terms. So I shall rely on ones that seem right that I can remember from games and anime (yes, I'm an avid anime/ touhou/ vocaloid/ video game fan. More so than most ever should, but we won't go there).

The first two characters I can think of are these.

Alice L. Malvin from the anime Pumpkin Scissors is the girl in the yellow dress. I chose this one because of the way it flows more than anything else (that and the battle scene where she wears it is amazing and stuck in my memory). It does have a bit much with the lace however and I don't actually care for the thin straps on the dress. Other than the pattern on the front, it is a relatively simple dress that still looks nice. Even the lace is not overpowering and is just there to add flavor. Again I'm not against lace. If it is simple and just to accent parts, then it is fine.

Second is a favorite of mine. While I am a huge fan of the Fate series (having played most of the games and seen all the anime), Saber Extra, or Red Saber if you will is my favorite. She is the only of the 4 Sabers that is actually a different person and the only one that doesn't wear armor (ignore the part that the white on the bottom half of her dress is see through, Shia should not have see through parts on her dress, it just fits Saber Extra's personality so well). Her dress is not over the top and flows nicely. She does not wear armor because of her personality, as she is that proud (and that ego). The shoulders and the open area above the chest would most likely a bit much for Shia, I absolutely love the design. Though I guess this is not the best choice as I put in the description that it Shia was in a simple and elegant dress. Not very descriptive was I... Ah, so hard to put what I'm thinking into words. Stories, like the lore come out so much easier. This is why I used to draw all the time. So much easier than trying to put it in writing.

All in all, I can change the description if you come up with something amazing that seems to fit Shia's character. While in her doppel body, she is charming, has confidence and is prideful (well, not sure about prideful... I didn't really put anything like that in her story or description... but confidence and pride can sometimes go hand in hand).

One thing I will definitely say is that I do not think Shia should have armor on. While she looks human, she honestly doesn't need armor as both her bodies are made out of energy from the Void seemingly mixed with shadows (as seen on her main body) that are strong enough to take a solid form with nothing seeping out. Therefore she should have a quite sturdy body. She also would have the confidence to be able to defend herself with her swords in not believing armor would be necessary.

I wouldn't mind if people submitted dress ideas of their own on what they think would look good as words like elegant, graceful, or any other descriptions are all different to each person. If a dress is chosen, it would be nice if it was one that many agreed on instead of just one person's tastes. Though to get that to happen, I've got to get people to be interested in Shia and read this character concept first (mention it to others, I really don't want to do self bumping, it feels bad. Only like to bump when I'm responding like this or posting something useful, like a major update to the concept).



Anywho, I've got to stop thinking on this at the moment, because right now all I've got is Saber Extra's on my mind...



- Kat




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Lore 24.5/25 you need one word to make it complete... excellent work however much better

She reached out with her hands to scoop up some water
I think this sounds better