~~~~~~~~~Part 2: boring morning routines and lazy saturday afternoons~~~~~~~~
Hello again! Your overly cheery narrator starts our morning off visiting the now out-of-bed, but still sleepy looking, Katarina and Belthazor...
Belthazor: <opens the refrigerator and pulls out some milk, then walks over to a cabinet and pulls out a bag of white stuff and a brown-black-ish container of some sort, then starts creating some alchemist's mixture>
Katarina: What is that?
Belthazor: Chocolate milk.
Katarina: Is it to poison someone?
Belthazor: No, it's to drink. It tastes good.
Katarina: So what're these? <holding up the bag of white stuff>
Belthazor: Those are marshmellows. Sometimes you put them ontop of the chocolate milk, or on ice cream.
Katarina: <opens the bag and eats a marshmellow>
Katarina: Ooo! Yummy.
Belthazor: Sometimes I forget you've only been on the planet for a short time.
Belthazor: <turns his attention to the "chocolate milk" mixture, stirring it vigorously. This is probably because both elements are poisonous when not combined properly>
Belthazor: There's so much to show you. Where to begin...
Belthazor: <finishes the stirring and turns to Katarina>
Katarina: <nibbling on marshmellows> Mmmp?
Belthazor: I need the marshmellow bag.
Katarina: MMP!! <moves the marshmellow bag behind her back>
Belthazor: Give it to me.
Katarina: <grabs a small group of marshmellows and devours the helpless creatures, feeding off their wholesale mass slaughter, and the destruction of the tiny cultures in each bite>
Katarina: Nope! Mine! I like marshmellows. <holds the bag above her head>
Belthazor: I'm taller than you. That only works on those kids you keep stealing candy from. You don't even eat the candy after you steal it. You just like watching kids cry.
Belthazor: <reaches to snatch the bag of marshmellows, immediately noticing a quarter of the bag is missing>
Belthazor: ...how many of those did you eat?
Katarina: A few.
Belthazor: You shouldn't have so many.
Katarina: Oh yeah? Are you going to stop me? Are you going to punish me??
Belthazor: Really, it's not healthy to -
Katarina: If you want your precious marshmellows back, you'll have to catch me!
Katarina: <Immediately runs off out of the kitchen>
Belthazor: ...here we go...
<cue benny hill theme>
<cue chase montage, leading from the kitchen to the bedroom, onto the bed, a brief wrestling session, Belthazor being hit in the face with a pillow, followed by chasing Katarina out of the bedroom, down the hallway, out into the back yard, multiple circles around a shrubbery, back into the house, into the living room, around the recently-replaced lamp-post, up and over the couch (where Belthazor was again smacked with a pillow), down the hallway, and back into the bedroom>
Belthazor: <Enters the bedroom to find Katarina holding her knife, the same one used to slay the innocent alarm clock not hours before, up to the underside of the bag of marshmellows>
Katarina: Don't come any closer, or I'll kill the hostages!
Belthazor: You're going to kill all of them anyway.
Katarina: I'm a bad person.
Belthazor: Yes you are.
Katarina: And you love me for it.
Belthazor: <coming closer to Katarina>
Belthazor: Yes, I do.
Belthazor: <gently places his hand on Katarina's forearm, pushing her arm down to her side, and making her let go of the knife, dropping it to the floor, then kisses her>
Katarina: <closes her eyes and purrs softly>
Belthazor: <shoves Katarina onto the bed and smacks her with a pillow repeatedly>
Belthazor: HAH! That's for earlier.
Katarina: YOU MONSTER! <grabs a nearby pillow as and uses the defenseless creature as a shield, then tosses it at Belthazor>
~~~~~Approximately 10 minutes later after a wrestling match that involved a large sum of tickling, each pinning the other down to the bed and beating said other with a pillow, some kissing, and a blatant disregard for the well-being of the innocent pillows who were unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time~~~~~
Katarina: Woah... I feel tired suddenly...
Belthazor: Well, that's what you get. I told you all those marshmellows were too much sugar. You had a sugar-high. And now the high has worn off.
Katarina: You could've warned me!
Belthazor: I did.
Katarina: You could've stopped me!
Belthazor: ...I tried to. Honestly.
Katarina: This is all your fault.
Belthazor: Right. It's also my fault that the sky is blue. Did I mention that? I am secretly an evil villain bent on world domination via controlling the weather. I'm going to say lots of bad puns and wear impractical spandex outfits. I will rule this world, one climate change at a time...
Katarina: <expends all her remaining energy to chuck a helpless pillow at the Evil Doctor Belthazor, in a final attempt to halt his diobolical plan - hitting him squarely in the kneecap>
Belthazor: <falls on his back, exhausted, next to Katarina - though more exhausted from keeping up with such an agile opponent than from sugar withdrawal>
Katarina: You know what I'm thinking?
Belthazor: Hot bath... long, hot, relaxing bath..
Belthazor: Mmhm. I'll get it started.
~~~~<three minutes later>~~~~
Belthazor: <returns to the bedroom and picks up Katarina, one arm under her knees, one behind her back, and carries her off to the bathroom, where he gently places her in the warm water, and they enjoy a nice, warm, relaxing bath together>
~~~~~The two spend the following hour half-asleep in a warm bath, with lots of bubbles~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~meanwhile, across town~~~~~~~~~~~~
Garen, after his "interesting" morning, has finally arrived at work - his co-instructor, Kayle, following closely behind him, looking happier than normal.
Garen: <enters the workplace, limping and visibly tired>
Veronica: Ahh, you're here finally. You're just in-time for the final ten minutes of the fencing class you're supposed to be teaching.
Garen: Do you remember what I was going to teach today?
Veronica: I'm a secritary. That's not my job.
Kayle: <cheerfully humming> My lil' pony, apocalypse pony, punish mankind for their siiiins!
Garen: But I thought a secritary's job was to know everything that's going on at any time.
Veronica: It is.
Garen: I'm confused.
Veronica: Get used to it.
<Garen enters the room where his fencing class is waiting for him, remembering what he was going to cover when he noticed the marks on the squeaky-board - "Saturday, we'll be covering proper swordfighting techniques, when surrounded by multiple targets">
Garen: Good morning class!
Class: Good morning Mr.Garen.
Garen: Today, we're going to be covering how to rapidly hit multiple targets. You have to spin - that's right class, and if you can spin fast enough without getting dizzy, you will hurt your targets more than they can hurt you - spin to win. Now, you have to -
Kayle: Crush your enemy's spirit and make them do anything for you, to serve you and be obedient, under the designer-heels of your law.
Random Student 1: But... that sounds kinda..
Kayle: It works. Trust me.
Random Student 2: What's with the wings?
Kayle: I'm an angel, and if you ask again, I'm going to send you to hell and char your corpse beyond recognition.
Random Student 2: ...oookay then. <mumbles something about angels and unexpected mannerisms>
Garen: Okay, class, who here would like to help me demonstrate the spinning tactic?
<Random Student 1 and Random Student 2 immediately step back, and shove Random Student 3 forward>
Garen: Thank you for volunteering! Now, I want you to hold this sword, and spin without getting dizzy.
Random Student 3: What does this have to do with fencing?
Garen: Quite a bit. This is a tactic I use in the league all the time to hit multiple targets.
Random Student 3: Like?
Garen: JUST SPIN!
<random student 3 immediately spins multiple times, knocking over a chair, Random Student 1, then falling down onto the floor, but not managing to get within a foot of Garen or Kayle>
Garen: ...Good start... if your goal is to defeat a squirrel in honorable combat.
Garen: Oh, we're all out of time for today.
Kayle: <waits untill all the students have left the room>
Kayle: So I was doing a little research, and I found this job I'm interested in.
Kayle: "Professional dominatrix." It's apparently a job where I can discipline people who are repentant and feel guilty of their crimes... at least, I think that's what it means. The wording was a little confusing. This world has some strange terminology. But I think it would be a great fit for me.
Garen: <stares blankly at Kayle>
Garen: That's not... exactly what a dominatrix does...
Kayle: What, don't think I'd be good at it?
Garen: That's not what I meant...
Kayle: I'll go ask Veronica.
Garen: No, no no that's not needed.
Kayle: <frowns at Garen>
~~~~~<fade to black>~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile, Across Town~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morgana: Sunnymuffins, I need to go to the store. Will you check the cookies in a few minutes while I am gone?
<Sunnymuffins is still laying in bed, after having a night that wasn't all that restful, in stark contrast to Morgana, whom seemed to be very well-rested>
Morgana: I'll take that as a yes. Back soon!
Morgana: <leaves the building>
Vladimir: <gets up and out of bed, moving to the bathroom, to shave>
Vladimir: <while shaving, notices a small fly buzzing around>
Vladimir: No.. I didn't sleep at all last night...
Vladimir: You.. you came here to mock me.
Vladimir: Hold still.. you'll regret intruding here, you disgusting creature!
<Vladimir retreats from the bathroom, only to return minutes later, after frantic searching for the flyswatter>
Vladimir: Come out come out, wherever you are...
Vladimir: I know you're in here somewhere...
Vladimir: ...I'll find you.. and when I do..
<several minutes worth of low-toned one-liners and searching for the elusive insect later>
Vladimir: ahh... there you are... yes, you sit there, content.. not a care in the world.. just to make people's lives more difficult, like the dirty creature you are.. Hold still... for just a few more seconds..
<ominous murder music plays as Vladimir creeps up on the fly>
Vladimir: DIE!!! <Vladimir brings down punishment from above onto the fly for its sins against humanity>
<a door elsewhere in the building opens loudly>
Morgana: I'm back! Did you check the cookies like I asked?
Vladimir: <freezes in place, thinking "oh no..">
Vladimir: <thinking> What to do, what to do, what to do, think, think, THINK... Well... I could just be honest with her and tell her I forgot or that I got distracted.. I'm sure she'd understand, she hates flies too.
Vladimir: <yelling to Morgana> Yes I did dear, I thought they needed more time.
Morgana: Okay. I'll even share them with you this time.
Vladimir: <feeling guilty> Thanks, honey.
Morgana: Oh it's alright, you're my Sunnymuffins. I know you'd always treat me perfectly and never do anything to lie to me or hurt me.
Morgana: <goes into the kitchen>
Vladimir: <feeling very guilty> I love you too!
Morgana: Oh Sunnymuffins.. would you come here please...
Vladimir: <goes into the kitchen>
Morgana: So Sunnymuffins... how much extra time did you give the cookies?
Vladimir: ...a few more minutes?
Morgana: Really... so what is THIS!?
Morgana: <Points at a trey of ordinary-looking cookies>
Vladimir: <thinking> oh, they didn't burn. Thank heaven.
Morgana: WELL!? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?!
Vladimir: ...what's wrong with them?
Morgana: They're golden and brown. You know I like them brown and golden!
Vladimir: What's the dif-
Morgana: YOU RUINED THEM!!!
Vladimir: What did I-
Morgana: SHUSH! I'M MAD AT YOU!
Vladimir: <leaves the room, not knowing what he did or what the difference between "brown and golden" and "golden and brown" cookies is>
Morgana: <after Vladimir leaves, she picks up a cookie and promptly takes a large bite out of it>
Morgana: <thinking aloud> Men.. so fun to toy with.
~~~~~FIN - Stay tuned for part 3, saturday afternoon activities~~~~~