Mundo say hi leblanc. Mundo want to ask you something but mundo forget, so he just ask you something else. Mundo meet girl, she perty, but she screem and yell when i pick her up and take her to my lab. What do i do, i don't want to cut off perty girl tongue, i already do that with her legs

Neither, my dear Real Slim Shady. Deep in the forest that lies at the foothills of the Ironspike Mountains lives the endangered ursus inops. With only 101 individuals remaining, these bears are on the brink of extinction. A cub's fur is softer than a rabbit's and more lustrous than a mink's. I own at least a dozen of these coats. They match my belts perfectly.
-LeBlanc

Brand, what a pleasure to hear from you! Leaf carefully through this Book of Faces; you may encounter my likeness but let me assure you, she is not me. I have clones planted strategically throughout these Summoner communication networks.
-LeBlanc

Akali is a sweet child. However, I have presided over the Black Rose long before her grandmother was born. It is only fair that the Institute handicap my magic mere hours after I first set foot on Summoner's Rift. Without that impediment, the child would never stand a chance.
-LeBlanc

Oh my, Dr. Mundo. Didn't I tell you to reserve the cleaver for the second date?
-LeBlanc

Dear leblanc who are the two prisoners you brought to debacle under the guise of Jarvan IV

Dear LeBlanc,

Do I want to know what you and Swain "play" when his bird is asleep?

Dear LeBlanc,

Why have you almost entirely dropped from the public eye in the Journal of Justices, and anywhere else for that matter, until now? Also, could you expand on these circulating rumors concerning yourself, Jericho Swain and a plot involving the capture of Demacia's crowned prince, Jarvan IV, and the impersonation of said individual?

Sincerely, Summoner Silvora Bloomst 'SilverBloom' of Noxius.
PS; What is your opinion on the Kalamanda incident, and what do you think of the new Field of Justice that was made due to said incident?

(LOL, yeah, Sunnymuffin could totally fix that. [If you haven't read Belthazor's thread about that, Sunnymuffin is Vladimir.])

Dear LeBlanc,

At my school, I recently told everyone that I had a girlfriend over the summer, even though I didn't, and I used one of my friends from outside of school to supply the pictures and name. Everyone believes me, but it's against my nature to lie. Should I just tell them the truth right now, and save myself from the scorn of them and my very good friend (Who I may one day ask out - who knows?) or should I perpetuate the lie and maintain my 'eligible bachelor' status?

-Jaykoboy-

I have eyes and ears throughout Runeterra but it is not yet time to disclose this tidbit. Patience, Summoner.
-LeBlanc

I doubt that you would be interested, Lady Cardboard. Would I lie?
-LeBlanc

Tricky, aren't you? How charming.

It is public knowledge that General Swain is my confidante. His ambitions conveniently overlap with my own. However, I would never spend decades lurking in the shadows, waiting for a plan to ripen - waiting tirelessly for the perfect political backdrop to abduct the prince of Demacia in order to impersonate him and kindle a continental war. How could you accuse me of such a thing? I am genuinely hurt, Summoner.
-LeBlanc

P.S. The new Field of Justice is amusing. Summon me and I will lead you to victory.

My dear boy Jayko,
This calls for a case of classic misdirection. The key is to change the focus from yourself to another target. Surely there are dozens of opportunities to devise more fascinating rumors at the dawn of a new school year? Soon the attention will have switched from you to the allegedly cheating quarterback!
-LeBlanc

Dear LeBlanc,
I meant no pain to you in my earlier questions, but simply wanted to show those who believe such speculations how naive they are. But aside from my apology,I have a question once more.

A colleague of mine has recently made certain...advances towards me that I find humorous, but seem serious on their end. Additionally, I've known this person for quite a few years now, but have only ever seen them as nothing more then someone one works with, or perhaps a partial friend. What should I say to them to so that they know how I feel about them but not completely shatter them? (The crucial part is completely mind you)

Sincerely, Summoner Silvora Bloomst 'SilverBloom' of Noxius.

Dear Summoner SilverBloom,

The best course of action is to lie in 95% of these cases. Gently inform this colleague that you began courting a talented Summoner from Zaun last weekend. The relationship is off to a wonderful start. In fact, you foresee marriage in the future! The wedding will take place on a lazy Sunday afternoon, under a white gazebo in a field of delicate pink wildflowers. Maybe you will have two children? Or perhaps three. Sarah and John sound like good baby names.

Best of luck!
-LeBlanc