Originally Posted by Ravenbones
I guess I should consider the target audience... Anywho the parts where you expanded beyond Lux gushing and Riven being unsure could be built up. I liked the parts involving the tournement and interactions with Lee Sin. Your take on the INstitue of War reminded me more of a college dorm which could be funny in it's own right. The rest seems like teen angst and a slow build up to the inevitable. It is more a matter of when and when instead of if.
Hmm... You're making this hard to decipher. Let me know if I'm interpreting it correctly.
You think I should put more description in the character development? I know the earlier chapters are rather lackluster for this, but I felt I'd been doing an okay job in this area recently. Was there a noticeable improvement, or am I just disillusioned?
The Institute... Yes, I did make it somewhat of a shared-residence kind of experience. This is a common viewpoint in a lot of stories. I'm fairly certain it's canon that champions are given their own rooms in the League that they are free to use. It's only fitting that they are afforded the standard necessities, provided they follow the rules of the League. That aside, I also envisioned the summoners being taught there, being the place where all summoners gather. It even fits the game experience quite nicely.
When it comes to the romance... Well, despite the big letters in the title that give away that particular ending, I wanted it to be slow and evolving. Since Riven has had very little experience in love, it would only be natural for her to go through what teens would. Even though she's older and more mature, she hasn't had to deal with emotion. She would struggle, she would stumble, she would go through that all-too-familiar angst.
The question in my mind wasn't whether it was inevitable or not (it was), but what would make sense? What fit the lore, the characters, and the story all at the same time? To me, it wasn't so much about when
, but why
. I think that was my goal for this style that developed.
Well, I'm glad you found something you liked in it, despite not finding it suited to your tastes. I know very well I can't appeal to everyone, and I won't try to. But I'll gladly take your considerations to make it better for the people that do get something out of it.