This is going to be my first piece of official Fanfiction...ever. I will probably suck a lot at this, but hey, give the guy a break. Boys Noize blasting in the background can't fix everything.
Anyways, this is a challenge I accepted from another thread. It's about Heimerdinger and Rammus...hence the title. Please, do enjoy!
Heimerdinger had had enough. Every match, he never got any word out of the Armordillo except for 'Ok,' 'No,' and occasionally a 'yes.' Honestly, couldn't he have learned just one more word in his life? The second they smashed the enemy Nexus and were warped back into the League, he ran as fast as his oversized head allowed him to down to Rammus's room. Knocking heavily with his wrench, it was opened by the Armordillo. "Yes?"
Heimerdinger came into the simple room, most of which featured furniture with holes punched through them by Rammus's spines. "Rammus, I'm here to solve your problem."
Rammus stared at him oddly. "Ok?"
Heimerdinger facepalmed. "See, this is what I'm talking about. All you ever say is yes, no, and ok. Can't you say anything else?"
Rammus was about to speak, but Heimerdinger continued. "So, I'll be teaching you how to speak properly. Do you understand?"
Heimerdinger nodded, his head bouncing around slightly with the simple motion. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'll get started."
He pulled out a projector and its screen out of apparently nowhere. Maybe in his head...? I mean, honestly, he kept his wrench in there. He probably stuck other things in there as well. As he turned down the lights and closed the window, the projector automatically turned on. On the screen, a picture of a duck appeared.
Heimerdinger took his wrench and pointed at the picture. "Duck."
Heimerdinger held his temper. "No, it's a duck. Please, work with me. Say what I say."
Heimerdinger pointed again. "Duck."
Rammus stretched his neck outwards, trying to conjugate the word. "Duuu...ok."
Heimerdinger facepalmed. "No, no, no. Good progress, but let's go over this a bit more closely." he hit the projector, causing it to becom the word form of 'duck.'
Heimerdinger covered up part of the word. "Du."
He nodded, his head bobbing all over the place. "Good. Now the other half. Uck."
Heimerdinger nearly snapped his favorite wrench in two. "Honestly, can't you try a bit harder?"
He crossed his arms. "Won't you, then?"
Heimerdinger fumed. "Ok, fine. Then let's just try a different word."
He hit the projector, and it switched to a different word: Homogenic. Rammus's eyes widened in terror, but he still stared straight ahead.
"Alright, this one is easy: Homogenic. Can you say that?"
Heimerdinger groaned. "Won't you at least try?"
Heimerdinger stamped his foot. "Why not? I'm investing good time in you. You better get at least one word into your head as long as I'm teaching you. If you don't, honestly, I'll leave a turret near your door, and you won't be able to leave until you learn another word. Understand?"
Rammus sighed...or grumbled. One of the two. "Yes."
Heimerdinger pointed to the screen. "Good. Now: Homogenic. Start one syllable at a time. Hom."
Heimerdinger shrugged, guessing it was better than nothing. "Good start. Next one. Oh."
Heimerdinger nearly yelled. "Honestly! Can't you just say one word that isn't one of those three!"
Rammus, again, tried to answer, but Heimerdinger continued over him. He was abotu to rant. "Look, you will never get anywhere in life if you only can say three words. All you'll be able to say is 'yes,' 'no,' and 'ok,' for God's sakes! Why can't you..."
Three Hours Later...
"...truly, you have more in common with a pumpkin than an armodillo!"
Heimerdinger took a long, deep breath. Rammus hadn't moved at all the entire rant. "Rammus?"
There was a low snore emanating from within the shell.
"RAMMUS! WAKE UP!"
Rammus shot into the air about a foot, falling on his back when he landed. His spikes impaled into the floor, prompting Heimerdinger to help him out. "Now, please, have we learned one lesson? Don't fall asleep when being taught."
Heimerdinger sighed deeply. "You know, I give up. You're just too hard to teach. I'll never be able to get through to you."
Rammus chuckled slightly. Heimerdinger gave him a weird look. "I'd ask you what's funny, but you can only say three words."
Rammus fell on his side now, laughing extremely hard. "Okay, now I have to ask: What's so funny?!?"
Rammus pushed himself up, wiping a tear from his eyes. "Heh, I'm not Rammus."
Heimerdinger himself fell to the floor, causing 'Rammus' to help him up. He wiped his brow. "Well, then, who are you?"
'Rammus' took off a large helmet, revealing underneath...Teemo!?! "Teemo, what are you doing in Rammus's room?"
Teemo smiled. "Well, I was thinking about getting another skin, a Rammus one this time. It would be fun! So, I had one made, and then I came over here to start acting like Rammus and get into the character. He's hanging in my room right now. So you wasted your entire lesson on me!"
Heimerdinger fumed furiously for a moment. "You mad, bro?"
As if Heimerdinger needed another reason to kick Teemo. He did so, dropping an entire Armada of turrets around him to keep him occupied. "Like you need another skin! Honestly, stupidest idea ever!" He then proceeded to run from the room, taking his equipment with him.
Several hours later, they found the remains of the experimental 'Rammus' skin on the floor of the room. There was no sign of Teemo, but there was a letter written by Warwick that said something along the lines of 'I love it when the complimentary candies come in indvidual wrappers! Thank you so much!' Teemo wasn't seen again until he was summoned for the next match.
And that's just about it. Thanks for reading!