Alright, this is a crack pairings thread after all, so I went with something shorter and with a humor focus. Here we go!
Oh, and this is a little racy. I think I'm not quite breaking any rules, somebody contact me if I am and I'll make amendments posthaste.
Breathless. Garen had heard the word used to describe him once before, and had thought it accurate at the time. But this was truly something else. His entire body was straight, tense, energy and sensation pulsing through every fiber of his being. The raw energy of the experience was enough to test even his disciplined mind, to make hairline cracks appear in the veneer of of control her maintained at all times.
And it was her that put him in such a state. He doubted there were any other in the world as skilled as she. The elegance and decisiveness in the movements, the precision and intention of her actions, the total control she exhibited from the moment it began to well after was truly a rare thing. When she finally disengaged, shifted away from him, he was left gasping for air as he sought to keep his balance, while she favored him with a confident smile, utterly unconcerned.
Garen allowed himself a moment of weakness, reveling in the rare intensity of the sensation as he slowly gained control of his breathing, but was soon brought back to focus. The noise was unmistakable - the shifting of leather, then the clatter of metal.
Janna simply smiled again as he watched her empty several gold sovereigns from his wallet. "You agreed," she said airily. "Breathless is $2.95 a minute."