"All that was real, or was it just a dream?" I awoke covered in sweat. I had slept on a hay pile, and the room was so dark, I could barely see. I couldn't clearly remember the past day's events, but seeing all the blood-stained bandages on me, I instantly knew that I had been injured in battle.
My eyes started to grow used to the absence of light. I soon became able to see the people around me, and it didn't took me long to guess that the place was a precarius war infirmary.
"You're finally awake", said Soraka. "I started to fear you had fallen into a coma".
Ever since I became a champion for the League, I had forgotten the pain caused by severe injuries. I had forgotten that I was a mortal being.
You know, from time to time, some snow-backed milk-drinker comes and says he's going to rule over everybody. He creates a great empire, then he's violently killed, and his succesors are so stupid that the empire crumbles. History taught me that lesson.
I knew it from the very beggining, the League of Legends was a momentary thing. Sooner or later people will get tired of the summoner's self-proclaimed supremacy, punishing kings for waging war whenever they wish.
And so it happened. A great uprising. Everybody versus the Institute of War. We tried to mantain eternal peace, and now we just caused another massive battle. The stupid summoners don't want to use their fancy magic because it would contaminate Runaterra and make it inhabitable.
So, here I'm, receiving arrows in the chest and spilling my blood for a ruler who is uncapable of ruling.
Everything I saw wasn't a dream. It was real... And before I tell you about Soraka and the war infirmary, you have to hear this.
Chapter I: The day before.
I was in the middle of a battlefield... The most bloody battlefield this world has ever seen. The clashing of steel, the screams of the fallen... Magnificent. Snow and ice became red, as we killed enemy troops by thousands. The enemy retreated, and I got a chance to rest, so I entered my tent, and ate and slept as much as I could.
Campaigning. The most horrible life-style. I asked myself: Who put me up to this?
Ashe. You know, I've always had a weakness for women. They just drive me crazy. She told me to protect Tryndamere, for should he get killed, controlling things up in Freljord would get difficult. She "paid" me to do it, so I couldn't said no.
The barbarian king would had surely cutted me down, should he had knew of my, um, "negociations" with the queen. They always say it's just a pollitical marriage, but I don't believe a word of it. Luckily for me, Tryndamere didn't ask no questions. I offered my help, and he accepted.
So, basically, instead of simply going to a brothel, I payed the, um, "services" of a, um, "happy woman" by protecting his husband. A pretty stupid idea, but in this times of war, a man must get his needs satisfied.
Next day, I awoke to smoke and fire. I assumed the enemy had ambushed our camp. Good thing I never take off my armor... Leather, you see. Pretty comfortable, able to stop arrows and some weapons, and you can slept with it put on. Saves you a lot of time on death-life situations.
I took my halberd. A nice weapon, you see... Can cut a blue-blood knight and his pathethic horse in half with just one good strike. And MY halberd has a long, long blade. Some idiots even tought it was a sword with a large hilt. But no, mine was a halberd.
So, I was ready to battle this rebelious freljordians, or whatever they call themselves. I ran across the camp, looking for Tryndamere, killing the occasional maggots on sight. I finally found his tent, surrounded by an elite guard of soldiers from I-dunno-wut-random-tribe of barbarians.
Inside the tent was Volibear, Tryndamere, and a handful of loyal brain-washed soldiers that supported the League. Togheter we cutted through the stupid tribal guys almost without challenge.
Now that we had a few seconds to catch our breath, we quickly made a plan: Find Sejuani's unit, and regroup our forces for a final assault on their headquarters. Luckily that would suffice to "reunificate" Freljord. Duh, after two months of non-stop fighting against barbarians, I doubted that they were going to give up just because of a miserable stronghold. But I seriously know nothing about strategy, so I simply followed the commander's lead.
When we found Sejuani, we realized that we had already won the battle: Not even one of the enemy soldiers remained alive. But our casualties where heavy: While we, champions of the league, are able to single-handely slay tenfold of them, regular humans, summoner-ass-kissing soldiers are not. We had to act before we runned out of men.
Tryndamere ordered that we used the rest of the day to rest, eat and, um, satisfy "our needs". I seriously started to grow tired of courtisans, but if I'm going to die, at least I'll die happy.
Then, Sejuani appeared. Why does she wear almost no clothing in this god-forsaken floating piece of ice and doesn't catch a cold, I'll never know. But she does look pretty atractive.
"You. We've never fought togheter nor against each other, until today. You're strong" She then entered my tent and stared at my eyes. "I know what Ashe did to convince you to come here and protect that brute and false king of a husband she has".
"Lady Sejuani" I answered "If you've come to blackmail me, then you should leave right now"
"Blackmail? I was going to offer you a negotiation. I've seen how you stare at me, captain. And I think that there's something you need, but that courtisans cannot satisfy".
So, a barbaric female chieftain comes to me offering to, um, "Satisfy me" if I kill the barbarian king togheter with Nunu and Volibear to make sure Ashe runs out of allies. This way Sejuani can then kill Ashe and claim Freljord for herself.
A most solid plan, but I've fought side-to-side with this men. They've saved my life countless times, and I've saved theirs, too. We've been in this shield wall, killing barbarians togheter for a lot of time now, and I bonds of sweat are more stronger than those of blood... And, um, "Satisfaction". No, I didn't accept Sejuani's offer.
Oh, what the hell. I did, I accepted the offer. Cursed be my weakness for women. I did had quite a bit of fun, tough.
So, I awoke next day, the princess of Freljord laying by my side. My mother always called me a loser, but right now that is way past me. Oh, mother, if you weren't selling tomatoes in some random place in Zaun, you'll be so happy to see this.
Oh, but I digress. The plan was simple: I was to make sure we captured the enemy stronghold, BUT Volibear, Nunu and Tryndamere had to "Fall heroically in battle". Should I fail to do that, Sejuani would tell everybody in Runaterra about my, um, "Treaties" with the princesses of Freljord. Failure was not an option.
The march started at 5am. Sejuani was riding that giant piss-smelling animal of hers. Sometimes she turned back and gave me a wink, which means that my teory of her being a total wench was an absolute truth.
We were ready to assault their main camp. It was defended by some half-starved brats, barely old enought to grow their first chin hairs. Easy task would be take the stronghold, but, how was I going to kill three champions without nobody noticing? I had no idea.
I love it when they give that order. Run towards the enemy, weapon in hand, ready to kill or be killed. Battle was my scenario, and this war was my great play.
Stronghold captured. Tryndamere shouted "Victory!" and everybody started raising their swords in joy. But I didn't. I stared at the horizon, and saw a massive army or enemies, riding to glory.
"Don't say a word" Sejuani told me "Let them do their little suprise attack".
"Have you gone mad? If we lose this battle, we're DEAD".
"Oh, don't worry, captain, you'll live. You'll never touch me again, but you'll live. Let's just make sure our friends get killed, and then we'll slaughter this fools".
You know, I'm expanding my teory. Sejuani isn't only a total wench, she's also daughter to one.
Tryndamere saw the enemy army a couple of minutes later. He ordered the men to stand still and prepare their spears. If the enemy wanted to charge us, let them try. Nobody was going to enter our newly-conquered stronghold.
But that was their plan. Nobody was going to enter... And nobody was going to run.
Arrows. Thousands, maybe millions of arrows. Ignited ones. How do this barbarians are able to set things on fire when the weather is this cold, I don't know. But the moment I saw that massive volley, I knew things wouldn't end up good for us.
Volibear was the first to fall. He was hit by many arrows, but his might allowed him to persist. When Tryndamere ordered to charge the enemy, Volibear was in the front lines. He was brave, strong-willed, and had the hardiest constitution I've ever seen... Well, he was a bear, so... Nevermind, I shall make no jokes about the lineage of my fallen comrades.
It was a most glorious sight. It was the extasy of war. Volibear send his enemies flying, and gave our troops much hope. It seemed like he alone would win the battle... And then, he fell to the ground. His once-white fur was covered in blood from his own wounds, and he could barelly breath. I rushed to his aid, but it was too late.
"Captain... " He said "I'll die this glorious death... With you by my side. The heavens... Have blessed me"
"Close your eyes, friend... Rest easy, for victory will be ours".
The battle went on. Nunu's yeti had eaten a lot of enemies, and then someone realized that the one controlling the yeti was a child. He was killed in a most horrible manner, which I will not describe. A child's death is not something to joke about.
Sejuani smiled. She didn't plan all this, but it was convinient to her cause.
I then realized. If we won the battle, and Tryndamere wasn't dead, I would die anyway. If he knew the, um, "Things" I did to his wife...
But no, I must erase those fears from my mind. I must keep fighting...
"AGH!! CAPTAIN, HELP ME!"
It was Tryndamere. Surrounded by enemies, our troops almost depleted. Sejuani wasn't going to help him, but I did. I ran, as fast as I could.
Tryndamere. The barbarian king. Feared and hated by everyone. He's summoned in alomost every League combat. Was it the Twisted Treeline, the Summoners Rift, or that pesky anphetamine-loving crystal scar, he was hated by everyone. I was one of those, for never I've been able to best his acursed Inmortal Fury.
But nothing of that matters in the field. Back against back, we fought our enemies. How many fell to our blades I do not know, for I soon lost count.
Glory. We had lost two champions and half our army, but victory was ours. We had conquered Freljord. Peace would reign again...
"Wait a second... What is that thing?"
Another massive volley of arrows. I didn't had a shield, neither did Tryndamere. We where going to die.
But Sejuani saved me, for reasons I ignore. She abandoned Tryndamere and what was left of our army. I swear, I could hear the barbarian king shouting his anger as countless spears, swords, axes and arrows pierced his flesh.
Our forces were utterly crushed. Defeat. It was just me, Sejuani, and her decimated unit.
We went back home, barely having our own skins. Shame was the only thing I could feel.
The Institute of War, full of wounded people, and little hands to heal them.
I was good at hiding how really injured I was, but I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I entered the room that once was a summoner's personal quarters, and saw how they converted it into a poor infirmary. Soraka healing whatever wound she could, maggots crying because of the pain and war heroes taking their last breath.
"A hay pile... Good. I'm in need of rest. Two much has happened in the last few days".
I awoke three days later, and told you my story.
Chapter II: Today.
Like I've said before: here I'm, receiving arrows in the chest and spilling my blood for a ruler who is uncapable of ruling. But I wasn't the only one.
Many champions of the League suffered harships now that the common folk were rising. Demacian champions were soffocating the uprising within their own walls: Garen, his friends, and all the army of blue-bloods against the rebels.
In a similar state of civil war was Noxus. There's no uprising in Zaun or Ionia, but the rebels are sure to conquer them sooner or later if they don't join their cause.
And then is Freljord, but I've already told you what happened there.
I spent the rest of the night in the infirmary. I was expecting for some sexy nurse to come and change my bandages, maybe Janna, Akali, or that mute girl Sona. But no, instead of that, I get a hybrid of goat and unicorn called Soraka. Well, at least it wasn't Taric, because... Oh, well, let's just say that he drives by the wrong side of the tracks (If you know what I mean).
But no matter her physical appearence, she healed my wounds with that strange magic of hers. I don't care too much for mages, but it does feel good when their fancy-pants incantations come to my aid.
My wounds were healed, but I wasn't out of trouble yet. I wondered if Ashe knew of my failure, and how did she plan to gut me alive when I tell her that our army is no more, and that Freljord remains in hand of the rebels.
Women. Letting one down is the worst error a male human can commit.
"Captain. What happened at Freljord? Sejuani refuses to speak with me about it".
Cursed be my luck. Why do I always get to live another day just to get myself in more life-death trouble?
"Ashe" I told her "Our army found defeat at the hands of the barbarians. Nunu and Volibear fell in battle".
"And my husband? What about Tryndamere?"
"I can't exactly tell you if he's dead. But the last I saw him, he was isolated amid a sea of enemies, having his limbs ripped apart, countless spears penetrating him, giant blades butchering the... "
Oh, no. I should've said he was taken prisioner or something, it's not like she's ever going to find out I've lied to her. But as always, my mouth is too big and my brain just can't keep up with it.
Ashe didn't say a word. In fact, she didn't even emit a single sound. But I could tell she was seriously angry for the looks of her face. She just walked away from me, and I hid, just in case she decides to throw some giant ice arrow to my face.
I tought the rest of the day was going to be boring meetings with the summoners who were "Planning the war", but I was wrong. Galio entered the Instute of War, one of his giant stone gargoyle wings pulverized.
"The king is dead!" He shouted "Lord Jarvan is holding with what is left of the army... Inside the palace. I was sent with Poppy to deliver this message... To ask for reinforcements... But... "
Galio's face turned pale. Well, he's a giant mass of stone and magic, so I'm not sure if he did went pale or I was too high from the medicine. But then some random guy watching the scene asked him about Poppy, and Galio just kept silence.
"Poppy... She... "
He showed us a giant hammer he was carring with his left hand. It was Whomper, no doubt. I dislike yordles, but Poppy knew how to fight, and I respect that. I wanted to believe she wasn't dead.
"Ambushed" Galio continued his speech "Ambushed by rebels, not far from here. I got my wing destroyed, and Poppy... She didn't make it".
Galio fell on the ground, and people dragged him into the infirmary. I stayed there, in silence, alone with my toughts. Nothing I could do to save my friends and companions from dying everywhere around me.
Here's the random dude again. I always forget his name, so I just call him 'Random dude'.
"We've received orders to march towards Demacia and assist Jarvan. You must prepare for campaign once more"
You know, the thing I hate the most about politics is that it's never the politicians themselves who spill their blood. It's always us, the idiots who signed a contract with them, condemned to die sooner or later.
"Very well. I shall make myself ready"
There's nothing I can do about it. I went to sleep. And this time I was alone, mind you.
Chapter III: Things just keep getting worse
Good ol' righteous and mighty city-state of Demacia. They have no brothels, casinos nor organized crime, but they do know how to fight and give priest-like speeches. But this time I wasn't going there for some, um, "turistical investigation" about, um, "houses of pleasure". This time I was there to take the city.
Our army looked capable enough. We had Kayle, Riven and Alistar by our side, plus more brain-wash soldiers. Galio wanted to come, but he'll never be able to fly again, so he's basically useless right now.
We were near the city. Commander Kayle orders to set up camp and prepare to assault the walls by morning. I seriously dislike that a winged chick that looks like a guy is giving me orders, but, like papa said, "Whateva".
I was sitting around the fire with the soldiers, when I discovered that none of them was chatty. Seriously, the army that supports the summoners is full of weird people. But then I heard a soft, delicate, yet strong voice calling me.
"Hey" Said a lady "They say you killed thousands of enemies in the Freljord campaigns"
I looked around, searching for the source of the voice. It was Riven.
"Oh, that's just an exaggeration" I answered, and then offered her a place to sit "Maybe dozens, but not thousands. They weren't so many"
"Still, only having a look at you, I know that the tales about your strength aren't exagerated"
I smiled, and she did too. Can you believe it? Riven. Smiling. At me. I had enought experience in this matter to know that she wasn't here just to congratulate me for my "bravery".
"Well, thank you" I said "But I do grow tired of this war. So much death. It's not an honorable battle anymore, you see... Just a carnage"
"I think exactly the same" Riven whispered "I hope that peace comes soon".
Well now, honorable, strong, delicate. This isn't your normal blood-lusted barbaric battle-maiden. Riven was seriously cut above the usual brutes and wenches of this world.
"Oh, captain" She said, before going to her tent "If you're still alive when all this is over, I'll very much like to see you again"
"I say the same, my lady, I say the same"
Man. Now THAT is a triumph. Screw all the snot-nosed b*stard princes and their heroic conquests of three inches of unfertile terrain. I had conquested the heart of the perfect lady. No more tavern wenches, brothel wenches nor Freljord wenches. I had found that lil' thing they call "Love".
The next day I prepared my equipment for the battle ahead of us. Before giving the signal to attack, Kayle gave us a speech. You know, after hearing that, I kinda know why Morgana hates her sister so much.
And then, fighting. Again. It's hard to describe, the emotions that one feels in battle. Things usually go blank, and the body moves on it's own, like if your instincts took ahold of you.
The rebels quickly fell to us, and retreated. At the end of the day we had taken half of the city. I tought of helping myself to some bounty from the little shops around town, but Riven was watching me. And like I've told you, letting down a woman is a man's worst mistake.
I spent a couple of hours chatting with her around the fire. A very interesting person she is. How did she gave up her old life and renounced loyalty to her very nation to redeem herself. And have you seen her fight? She can kick your arse with just a hilt.
Another day, another meal. My relation with Riven wasn't going exactly quick, but that was a good sign. I've had many, um, "Instant relations" over the years, and they just last one night. No, this thing was special.
"Alistar! We'll charge the rebels! I'm counting on you to break their lines!" Said Kayle.
"Yeah, yeah" The minotaur replied "Whatever you wish, commander Kayle"
I approached Alistar some minutes after that. He didn't look very good, and that isn't good if you're going into battle with an army full of psycopath ultra-overdosed demacian rebels.
"What's wrong, old friend? You don't seem too sure about this"
"Captain. I dislike this commander, and I'm pretty sure he is sending me to my death"
Wait a second... Did Alistar say that Kayle is a MAN? Oh, boy, I knew it from the start.
Again, it's time for battle. Alistar would be in the front lines, with the most idiotic and berserk of our troops. I was going to command the second wave after Alistar smashed their formation. Riven and Kayle would then charge with us into the palace, freeing Jarvan and the others.
"NOTHING CAN HOLD ME BACK!"
Glorious. Alistar made the fools beg for mercy. The melee started, and the usual pre-battle shooting with arrows ended. My unit crushed many skulls, and my halberd did taste a lot of blood. I felt like a conqueror, you know, making history. Maybe one day kids at school will read something about me in their textbook.
Kayle then joined us, and we prepared to assault the palace gates. But I couldn't see Riven.
"Commander! Where is Riven's unit?!" I shouted.
"She was with Alistar, captain!!"
Wait... What? No, that cannot be...
Palace, taken. Rebels, defeated. Jarvan, saved. Demacian champions, alive.
"Riven!! Where are you... ?! Riven!!"
But no one would answer me. I searched, and searched the battlefield for her while Kayle and their idiots were taking the palace. And then I saw her. Wounded by many arrows, laying in a pool of her own blood, barelly alive.
"Hmph... Look... At this... What a shame... "
I rushed to her aid, and took her in my arms. I'll never leave a fellow comrade to die alone like a dog.
"I wanted peace..." She said "So that everything would be back the way it was before this terrible war... Before our friends started being chased and killed"
"Don't worry... There will be peace... One day, thanks to you"
"Captain... At least I'll die here... With you by my side... "
I don't know why I did it. It's not wise to completely fall in love with someone you can't ever see again... As Riven's life was fading away, we both stared at each other.
And, just like in battle, things went blank, and instinct took ahold of us. We kissed each other's lips, for this was the last chance we had to do so.
"I... love you... C..."
She died. She didn't even had enought time to say my name. I left the battlefield with her in my arms. Nobody saw me, so I silently shed a couple of tears.
And now... I'm all alone.