Four members of the enemy team pushed the midlane. Their healer, Soraka was just about to cath up with them. However Gragas appeared to defend the tower, with such shiny awesome gear that was simply impossible to afford with his kills and cs. He rolled in one barrel and all four died. Soraka just arrived at the tower to see the massacre. She noticed Gragas' teammate, Graves in a single underwear, tumbling around and singing.

"Yohohooo...If I only had the fooortunneee...*Hic*...I would...slay the...*hic*.. high seas!

"You mean SAIL the high seas." - Gragas corrected him.

"I would find .... my beloved...*hic*...whom I lost as I...."

"What happened to him? And where did you get that expensive equipment?" - Soraka asked Gragas.

"Well, da boys bought off a few rounds off me. As long as they have the coin I'll always have a barrel of grog for them. In fact they slipped into dept but we'll handle that later, they payed for most of the stuff." - answered Gragas.

Regulation #684 : Gragas is not allowed to trade alcohol on the Field of Justice.

A team fight has just broken out at bottom river. Garen’s fist met with Katarina’s leg. Nocturne dodged Cho’gath’s Vorpal Spikes and slashed its face with his umbra blades. Udyr and Lee Sin engaged in a martial arts fight so incredible it would have made any martial arts enthusiast stand in awe. Oh, and Kassadin just smashed a null sphere into Gargas’ face.

Sona floated around, trying to keep everyone alive with her music. Unbeknownst to her, Alistar saw the prefect moment to strike. Rushing forward, Alistar slammed his fists into the ground, sending Sona flying into the air.

However, Sona’s dress came loose.

Suddenly, a bright light radiated at bottom river. The fighting stopped as everyone turned to behold the light. As their eyes adjusted, a myriad of reactions took place.

Garen’s jaw dropped.

Katarina looked down with a blush of mortification.

Nocturne’s eyes began to secrete the closest thing he had to tears. “The light…it’s so warm…”

Cho’gath stood in awe. “To think that there is something in this world that doesn’t fill me with disgust…”

Udyr was silent, a hand idly extending out.

Lee Sin felt a pulsing in his eyes. Taking off his blindfold, his world was bathed in light. “I-I CAN SEE!”

Kassadin’s reaction couldn’t be measured, since he wore that mask.

Gragas dropped his barrel. “Is this was it feels like to be sober?”

Alistar ****ped his pants.

Unaware of her power, Sona was bright red as she quietly covered herself. The reactions became instant as the light disappeared.

Garen had no time to mourn as Katarina leapt onto him. Her eyes tearing up, she began to choke him as she screamed “TELL ME I’M PRETTY!!!”

“You’re pretty! YOU’RE PRETTY!!” Garen screamed, as he slowly turned blue.

“More! I NEED MORE!!” Nocturne screamed, his wispy arms raised to the heavens.

Cho’gath was in the closest he body can provide to a fetal position. “This world…AS IF IT
COULDN’T GET ANY UGLIER!!!”

Udyr closed his hand and stared at it.

Lee Sin’s newly found eyesight vanished. “****!!!”

Kassadin fell to his knees.

Gragas, for the first time, drank out of depression.

Alistar slinked away, feeling utterly embarrassed.

The match was soon cancelled, the reason being that nearly all the champions on the field suffering an existential crisis. Except for Garen, who suffered from oxygen deprivation and an existential crisis.

Regulation #636: Sona must meet with head summoners to dicuss possible wardrobe changes.

Poppy and Ezreal stood in front of the mid inhibitor turret, both on their last legs. The enemy team of Gangplank, Nautilus, Ashe, Ryze and Kayle were about ready to come and destroy them all.

“Well…we’re boned.” Ezreal commented as he shot a magic projectile at an enemy minion.

“Well, I guess you can say,” Poppy commented as she smashed her hammer into an enemy minions face, “this is ‘Poppy’-****.”

Everything stopped, as the enemy looked at Poppy.

“Arr, my head be hurting…” Gangplank said as he clutched his head.

Suddenly, the enemy fell down on their faces and died.

"PENTAKILL!!!”“

Poppy smiled. “Wow, that was unexpected, right Ezreal?”

No comment came from the Prodigial Explorer, as he too fell down and died.

Upon inspection, it was found that Poppy’s joke was so bad, it gave everyone that heard it a massive brain aneurysm.

Regulation #324: Poppy will not be allowed to make any jokes.

Blitz, Ammumu and Nautilus all gathered at mid, snickering as they began constructing a long chain, except Ammumu who cried most of the time.

"This isn't fair!" He moaned, but Nautilus and Blitz were not having it. The simply ripped the bandage he tossed off his arm and threw it into their contraption.

Blitz's hand held onto Ammumu's bandage who was wrapped around Nautiuls' anchor. With great strength, the steam golem threw the the long chain far into the fog of war towards the enemy base.

After a long pause, a scream could be heard getting increasingly closer and Caitlyn flew towards the trio. She landed on her butt in front of the three, who stared at her with cold eyes except for Ammumu who was still crying. With a sheepish smile she stood up.

"Well it seems I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle," She said with a nervous laugh.

Regulation #204 Blitzcrank, Nautilus, and Ammumu are not allowed to share andything on the fields of justice

In Summoner’s Rift, it was chaos. The minions were rushing to get back to the nexus. Baron Nashor helped the wolves and golems up before slithering over the wall. The dragon flew away, the two lizard tribes riding on its back. The champions were running to get to the emergency portal.

Twisted Fate was running as fast as he could, before tripping and landing on his ankle wrong. Screaming in pain, the card master tried to get up and limp, only to fall down again. As sweat rolled down his face, he gritted his teeth.

This was the end.

Suddenly, someone lifted his up and slung him over their shoulders. Looking to see his savior, he was shocked to stare at Malcolm Graves, his ex-partner.

“W-why?” Fate asked, briefly losing his sense of cool. Graves just stared at him evenly.

“There’s some things that are just too cruel, even for you.” Graves growled, sounding somewhat disgusted with himself.

As the two entered the portal, they came out on the summoning platform. There, nearly every one present turned to stare at the improbable scene. Twisted Fate leaned in to whisper in the outlaw’s ear. “You can let me down now.”

Suddenly, Graves slung Twisted Fate off his shoulders, performing a fireman carry slam on the card master. As Twisted Fate groaned in pain, the outlaw stood over him, a smirk curling his lips.

“There, I let you down.”

After the portal closed, there was silence in Summoner’s Rift. Then a giant green cloud emerged out of the jungle As the cloud settled over the field of justice, the rabble rouser emerged from out of the jungle.

“Oh man, that was a stinky one!”

Looking around the deserted area, he asked out loud.

“Does anyone have some toilet paper I can borrow?”

Regulation #471: Gragas must relieve himself before a match.

Jesse Perring walked onto the fields of justice.

PENTAKILL!

Regulation #1: Jesse Perring is not allowed to be a champion.

Ahri screamed as she ran, scared to look behind her at the horror chasing her. She ran down the river, before turning into the pit which Baron Nashor called home. As she ran past the Baron, who was in the middle of having a cup of tea, she desperately looked for another exit. Then, she clicked her fingers and surrounded herself in spiritual energy, before dashing through the wall of the pit. Emerging inside her teams jungle, she then calmly looked around, then walked away.

As she was walking past the area where the Lizard Elder resided (which was currently in the process of being suplexed by Udyr), she heard a massive crash, and looked around the corner to see the wall of Baron's pit smashed in. A dark shadow emerged from the pit, holding the Baron's skull in one hand, and a tea cup in another. The figure dark the tea, then tossed the cup away and howled to the heavens, before charging into the light, revealing itself as Warwick. He was panting, and his eyes were glazed over with lust. Screaming again, Ahri ran for her life, towards her base. Warwick followed, charging past the Lizard Elder (whcih was currently tapping out to Udyr's choke hold) and smashing throguh a turret as he ran up mid. Then, he managed to catch up to the screaming Ahri, only for the other eight champions on the Rift to tackle him down. Panting, Warwick tried to drag himself to his feet, but Jax rapidly beat him over the head, knocking the wolfman out.

The match was soon canceled, and the Summoner's Rift repair crew, lead by League champion Eve, was left with the task of undoing the damage Warwick did on his lust-driven rampage, and with the task of consoling a distraught Baron over the lost of his favorite tea cup.

Redulation #6969: Warwick is not to compete in any League matches containing female champions during his mating cycle.