Hey! You ever wanted an item but never got around to getting it? Well, here's your chance. Pick an item--any item--in the League of Legends and advertise it here as you like. Repeats are allowed.

I'll start with...




Hey! You wanna be SO OVERKILL? Try the Infinity Edge! A killsword for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF AD! With all new flavors like Killkill80! 80 AD! It's like adding AD to an UNDYING RAGE!

What's that? You want crit chance? Well, how about RIPPED CHANCE?! 250 crit! Made with the blood of slain warrior tigers and mammoths. REAL MAMMOTHS!

Teamfights! (aaahhhhhh!) You'll be good at them! It's like a killsword for AD carries! OVERKILLSWORD!

Science! Power! Science! Power! Gigatons! Gigawatts! Gigabytes! More gigas THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!

Power laning! Power farming! Power ganking! Power diving! Power killing so many pentas! 400 PENTAS! Stick a Killkill80 to the ENEMY! They'll be as wimpy as MINIONS! You'll be like "Wow! I can't believe these wimps aren't MINIONS!" Because you'll be beating the snot out of the MINIONS as if they were a bunch of MINIONS and then you'll get a pentakill and you'll be LEGENDARY!

Get the Infinity Edge! The killsword that'll make you (aaahhhhhh!) Teamfights! (aaahhhhhh!)

Available on Summoner's Rift, Crystal Scar, and Twisted Treeline for only 3830 gold. See ya there, baby!

Do you keep dying at low levels. Is your damage output abysmal at level one? Do you ever think you'll need an extra kick? Well Mr Doran Peterbottom has got you covered!

With high quality Doran Blades, Doran Rings and Doran Shields, you'll get more of an edge then you'll ever need.

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Just listen to our happy customers.

"WITH THE POWER OF DORANSKULL! I AM GARENMAN!" Garen (duh)

"With this ring I become the king of all cosmos," Xerath

"With this shield I can use my godlike CC in peace," Allistar

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PURCHASE TODAY! ONLY 475! SOLD AT SUMMONER'S RIFTS AND TWISTED TREELINES EVERYWHERE!

Tired of nuking an Ashe with your full reportoire, yet still not killing her? Or ulting a low health Shaco and have him run away cackling all the while? If so, the Rabadon's Deathcap is for you! Influenced by the design of Veigar's signature hat, the Deathcap will result in ridiculous amounts of damage.
Built out of prime magical ingredients like blasting wands, the Rabadon's Deathcap can give you the extra push to really destroy your foes!
Just watch some of our success stories!

*Veigar ulting and instakilling Malzahar*
*Dual frame of Annie killing or not killing with Tibbers*

It's even useful to carries!

*Jax 3 shotting a poor Caitlyn*

Usually at the price of 4000 Gold. However, mention this TV ad to the shopkeeper, and get it 400 gold off! That's right, a quality Rabadon's Deathcap, guranteed to give you the power to annihilate your enemies, for the bargain price of 3600 gold!
What are you waiting for? Go and buy a Rabadon's Deathcap today!

Have you ever looked at that enemy Mundo and thought 'Hm, I'm tired of him going where he please?'

Well, then the Executioner's Calling is for YOU!

It's like having a third Summoner's Spell on a twenty second cooldown! Just hit, point, and shoot, and you have a Mundo who can't heal for a million gold! It also has the nice bonus for your little Master Yi of having both lifesteal AND crit. BOTH! AT THE SAME TIME!

And, for you budget-keepers, don't despair. It's amazingly cheap! At only 1375 gold, it's a bargain that even a feeding Evelynn can afford! So what are you waiting for? Kill that overkill healer today!

*Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any further feeding that may occur after purchasing the Executioner's Calling. Executioner's Calling no longer provides bonus AD, so ask your doctor if it's right for you. Also, even while using Executioner's Calling, Mundo will still go where he please. Just not as quickly.*

So BUY NOW!

^ = win

Why, thank you! I'm a natural salesman. I'm going to do another in a minute. (I'm going to do them all on underused items.)

What's more aggravating than seeing a champion come towards you who's resistant against your attacks? It's seeing a champion come towards you who's resistant against your attacks and surrounded by hundreds of those annoying minions. Well, never fret.

We introduce to you the Tiamat! This revolutionary battleaxe comes in a stylish golden color, perfectly suited to your battle-weary Renekton. It's sharp blades give you more damage for the price than any other item, and due to a ground-breaking new science called 'momentum,' this heavy ax will cause your attacks to flail wildly and damage EVERYTHING NEAR YOUR TARGET!

Also, it comes equipped with rejuvenating trinkets, helping you to stay in lane longer against that nasty Alistar. Never worry about mana, health, and minions again!

*Disclaimer: Not responsible for tower aggro caused by splash damage. If you're stupid enough to attack minions under a tower with a champion around, it's your own fault. Similar results in terms of damage may be received from BF swords; ask your doctor if the Tiamat is right for you, or if you should use the cheaper alternative.*

I think I've posted enough for now...

Hi, Billy Mays here!

Are you a duelist who is fed up with being dragged into 5v1 situations everytime you use your ult? Tired of dying because you can't deal out enough damage to large groups of enemies?

Introducing Tiamat!

This innocent looking axe dishes out a ****load of damage and hits everything in sight! Just launch that ult and see those enemy champions get wiped out like dirt with Oxy Clean!

But wait, theres more! Order now and we'll throw in not one, not two, but a whopping three free packs of Sham Wow! Ever had tough clean up jobs after a night of doing copious amounts of blow? This will tackle even your toughest post coke binge jobs, I guarantee it!

All of this for 2500.

But wait! There's more. Call in the next 10 minutes and we'll cut the price even more! You'll get the Tiamat and 3 packs of Sham Wow for the low low price of 2050!

So call the number on your screen, thats 1800 555 GTFO!

Ever bummed when this...


...becomes this...?


...this...?


...and this?



Well, now, you can do this...


...and this...


...to turn this...


...into this...


...and do this!


All because of this...


RANDUIN'S OMEN!

Available on Summoner's Rift, Crystal Scar, and Twisted Treeline for only 3150 gold.