YOU. YEAH YOU. You wanna be super mega pro? Wanna dunk Nooblords into the ground so hard their children taste dirt? Well you need,

DOUBLESWORDS. That's right, DOUBLESWORDS!! Two Swords, for the price of ONE. With them, you can dunk those noobs at TWICE the speed. They can do everything, form speeding up your jungle times to making Key-Lime Pie, these swords are for you!

And to sweeten the deal, we're throwing in this Lantern thing in for FREE! That's right, one noob dunking Lantern, absolutely free! Just pay Shipping and Handling!

So if YOU want to dunk some noobs like a pro, instead of being dunked yourself, buy the DOUBLESWORDS TODAY!

People's stuff on this thread is really funny, though I wonder why nobody does the whole "customer feedback" thing, (see my post, it's the second one)

You there! Have you ever wondered what blood tastes like and not be Vlad? Well now you can see with The Bloodthirster. This item may seem like its not up to snuff with other products such as the Infinity Edge but wait until you kill something. You will not only feel the blade get stronger but you will also heal yourself based on how much and how well you are killing things. We've even reduced the price to a measly 3000 gold from its previous 3600. But that's not all, order in the next 5 minutes and we'll throw in a Pickaxe for absolutely free. That's a 975 gold value for nothing. So what are you waiting for!? Order now!
*Disclaimer:Neither we or your local shopkeeper are responsible for any random acts of violence, evil spirits or sudden desires of you or the sword to lop off the heads of your enemies or friends.

Been blown up by poison mushrooms recently? Tripped over a ward that shouldn't be there? Invisible enemies coming to play? Well, now, you can turn all of that back on your foes. Introducing...

!rixilE s'elcarO...?

Oh, my apologies. I meant to say...

Oracle's Elixir!

With this quick drink, you can see what you were never meant to see. Not convinced? Here are a few words from real satisfied customers!

Do you have someone precious in your familly that died? Do you expect him to be your gardian angel??

Stop Dreaming! Even dead people want your money ! For as cheap as 2900$, You can buy Gardian Angel, Whenever you receive Fatal strike, you WILL get back on your feet a few second after! AMAZING!




note that effect can occur only once every 5 min and wont bring alot of utility while its off cooldown

Are you running out of mana? Is your lanemate running out of mana? Does someone on your team use mana?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, boy do we have a deal for you! Introducing the...

MANA MANIPULATOR!!!

For the price of only 475 gold, fix all your team's* mana problems forever! Infinite** mana regen! Never base again!***

Do you drink mana potions, but want something that looks and tastes better? This mana manipulator never runs out, and will solve all your mana problems! plus, it's now available in cherry!

But wait, there's more!

Accidentally double click and we'll send you TWO, that's right, TWO mana manipulators for the price of one! just pay separate shipping and handling!****

But that's not all! Upgrade your mana manipulator to the soul shroud and we'll throw in a free COOLDOWN REDUCTION AURA! Does your ashe want more arrows? Tryndamere want more rage? Karthus want more pentakills?***** well, look no further, because the new and improved SOUL SHROUD will give you all that and more! Now available at a store near your fountain!

So if you want the better-tasting, longer-lasting, permanent fix to your teams'* mana problems, then buy a MANA MANIPULATOR today!!******

*within a certain radius
**infinite up to 7.5 mana per 5 seconds
***No guarantees on needing to base for health are offered.
****Shipping and handling is equal to the cost of a second mana manipulator.
*****Pentakills not included.
******While supplies last.

She carries the blade of her noble predecessors, a blade with elegance and grace unmatched by mortal crafts. Some say it can slay ten ghosts in one swipe. Others say it can cut through a person's own confusion.



And now, she offers you a taste of the blessings of her blade on the Fields of Justice. Through strength of body, peace of mind, and purity of heart, may it guide you to victory.



Youmuu's Ghostblade.

Available on Summoner's Rift, Crystal Scar, and Twisted Treeline for only 2687 gold.

Hi, folks. Ezreal here. You may remember this old lantern I found about a year ago, right?



WRIGGLE'S LANTERN

That's right. Wriggle's lantern, the sightseeing, monster bashing, ward dropping explorer's best friend. How can you fight with it, you ask? Well, check out the bladed edges on the bottom.



Scary, isn't it? Not for me, it isn't, and if you know how to use it right, it won't be for you either. And the sheer novelty of being able to bash a baddie over the head with it can really work you up. I know it does for me.

So, if you're low on wards and money, short on jungling time, or just want to beat somebody over the head with an old artifact, Wriggle's Lantern is the tool for you. See you on the Fields of Justice.

Available on Summoner's Rift and Twisted Treeline for only 1600 gold.

[Amumu, in the street with a cart full of Manamunes]

Manamune! Do... do you want a Manamune? No? Ok... Hey, how about...? No?

What about...? No?

Does anyone want a Manamune?

.........

Maaaaaaanamune! Hey! Will you buy a Manamune? It... it gives you mana... and mp5, and... uh, it gives you AD... it doesn't cost that much... It's... it's not... that bad... I guess... Will you buy one?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... *cries*

Hello. You probably know me as Sivir, the Battle Mistress, and I hear you're short on cash. Well, don't worry, because I have some items that just might pique your interest...



That's right. From left to right, these items are the Avarice Blade; Kage's Lucky Pick; the Philosopher's Stone; and my personal favorite, the Heart of Gold.

None of these beauties are all that expensive, and each of them increases in value by...oh, what do you think? 5 gold every 10 seconds? Anyway, that saves a lot of time and money from trying to kill minions all day long, and you can only kill so many a day. And what's more, each of them gives its own buffs just from carrying them. But I'll leave that to you to find out. If you're short on cash, you know where to find these handy trinkets. Just remember...

Everyone has a price.

Available on Summoner's Rift, Crystal Scar, and Twisted Treeline, starting at 750 gold.