Originally Posted by TastyBeeBurgers
I admit I'm not usually a fan of X or slash stories, but this one's grabbed my attention. The build up between Lux and Kat is subtle and very patiently done. It gives your story a lot of suspense. Personally, I like your story as is, and I wouldn't suggestion changing it to fit the new lore. (That reminds me how much of a change are we talking about, lore-wise?)
Your writing is very nice, smooth sentences, and nice flow. You might try mixing up your sentence structure a bit more. You have quite a few sentences that don't follow the Subject-->Predicate--> Direct-Object forumla, but the more the merrier IMO. That being said, it's a minor issue that comes naturally with practice.
One more time: Well done. This is a well written story, and I look forward to what comes next.
Wow. Another name I've noticed on the threads!
I'm glad you chose to read this story regardless of your usual taste in genres. I can assure you that whatever relationship grows between them will not be geared only towards romance (still in the air if any of that will be in here). There is a distinct plot to this story, not "OMG, I like this person! Lemme flirt! *flirt* *kiss* I WIN! *end*" XD
I'm glad you agree that changing to the new lore would be ill-advised. If you're wondering about what Riot has done with her, here's a link
As for the writing, I actually feel incredibly limited with my speech because of how I am choosing to portray Lux. I'm sorry that it has been noticed, but I am glad that it's not too overbearing to read. I will see if I can work on it a bit more while keeping to "her style" in coming chapters. Thanks for the tip!
Thank you so much for leaving me a message. It made me happy to see your name. I hope I don't let you guys down with the coming installments