All right... I try to take an optimistic look at every champ I review... but I'm sorry buddy, there are a few MAJOR problems here. First and foremost, your handle on the written English language isn't the greatest, and the post in general needs some serious editing. But that's not what this is about. However, if I seem to be missing the point/effect of a move, perhaps it is because of that.
i know, i suck at writting in english...i will definetly make some changes on the explanations of the skills.
Thanks a LOT
I'm not gonna say that the lore is bad. It is a good story. It incorporates the world of Runeterra, and even references Vladamir, another champion. Here's my problem: You have this big story about this family, and their blood feud (lol) with Vladamir, and they are looking for revenge, and they have this HUGE battle with all sorts of hired mercs and people die and it's terrible. After all this storytelling, some of Vlad's blood seeps into the grave of a completely unmentioned as of yet street fighter, Vlads blood, for whatever reason, revives him. And now, this guys who rose from the after life, for what appears to be no reason other than vampire blood, wants to drink Vlad's blood... His lore isn't even about him. The Noxian family and their feud and battle should be a side note in the tale of Marcus, the Undead Street Fighter. Why was he famous, why was he great, how did he die, why did Vlad's blood resurrect him? None of that stuff makes sense. It's like an 1980's cheese horror flick. I don't care about some Noxian family, tell me about Marcus.
However, the story itself IS a good story... but it really doesn't have much to do with Marcus, and that is bad story telling.
as you can see, i am not american/canadian/british/autralian/ whatever country who speaks english...as so...when i concept the very first Marcus ....it was like 2 years ago and another summoner was the Lore Writer ..i give him a rough sketch of the Lore....wich waskinda like...
wealth family wants to kill Vladimir, Vladimir fled to his monastery, they fight...badly....Vladimir is pinned and flees to the dephs of the dungeons beneath the monastery, where the firsts Hemomancers used to drain the power of a true vampire Marcus, Vladimir found his tomb, gives him his blood, Marcus awakes beat the **** out of the mercenaries and saves Vladimir, Vladimir joins the league, Marcus stay at monastery feeding from caravans and when he was strong enough he follows the steps of his new master.....
There is actually a precedent with champs who have abilities like this. Rammus and Galio are great examples, the difference being that they only scale in ONE direction, not both. Two champions who used to scale in both directions were Jax and Kayle... but they removed that ability as it was way too over powered late games. First and foremost, I would chose ONE of the status (BONUS HP or AD) to scale into the other. Second, I would suggest raising the bar a little bit. Solidly, I would say HP should scale into AD (Similar to rammus and galio, scaling "tankiness" into damage), and then raise the percent of Health into Damage from the current 60hp:1ad ratio to a solid 2%. Meaning his new passive would read: Marcus gets a bonus to his attack damage equal to 2% of Marcus's bonus health. This might seem a bit much, but Atma's grants 1.5% of TOTAL health, and we are only considering 2% of BONUS health. Meaning Warmogs (Flat 1000 hp bonus) would grant 20 AD... combo that with Atmas and you get 35AD from just Warmog's bonus health. Though that still sounds a bit broken, when you consider items like Sword of the Ruined King that deal damage based on a % of total health, it is manageable.
i love that...not only criticism....solutions for the problems....THUMBS UP for you!!!
at first i use the exact numbers of Vladimir..but scaling with AD...and after several complains i rebalance an rebalances over rebalances later...no one was happy...so i got myself lost....
you show up!!!
2% of Bonus Health as AD = if Marcus have 3000 health (kinda tricky to build right?)
he will gain 80 AD...and that is fair rigth?
This ability makes little to no sense... First and foremost, if I am not mistaken, the idea is that you grab a champ and they cannot move/cast spells, and neither can you, as you absorb their health. This reminds me of Fiddlestick's Drain ability... but with CC, at melee range, and has a follow up with additional CC. I'm going to say reword the whole thing to this (Keep in mind, this changes the ability a bit): Marcus snares a nearby champion (within range: 125) and begins channeling. While Marcus channels, he deals damage to the target while healing himself, and the target remains snared. At anytime during the channel, Marcus can activate Throw, and cancel the channel. If Marcus uses Throw, the target is knocked back in that direction, takes additional damage, and is slowed. Note: The slow lasts twice as long as the remaining time left on Strangulate's channel when Throw was activated.
What I did: I replaced the silence with a snare... because otherwise they can't use spells but they can RUN AWAY... didn't make any sense. Maybe you want both... both is OP. At that point, it's basically Warwicks Ult... but better. That's just what I would change the wording to on YOUR ability... honestly, this ability needs work either way... and honestly, I don't know how to fix it...
did you just write what should i shoulp put i Strangulate/Throw description??!?!?!?!
GOD BLESS YOU DUDE!!! seriously!!
Thank You so much!!!!!!!
but i was reading LoL wiki ...and SNARE is something like a slow...the description of STUN is more accurate
Silence: A unit that is silenced cannot cast abilities for the duration.
Slow/Snare: A unit that is slowed has reduced movement speed for the duration.
Root: blá blá blá.....booyakasha
Stun: A unit that is stunned is unable to control their movement, attack or cast abilities for the duration.
i need to read lol wiki more...they have better wording...WAY better....
see what you think about Strangulate/Throw now
... So... Marcus has only one arm? Didn't really realize that until I read this ability... Maybe that should be explained in the Lore...
So... he channels for a moment and then anybody nearby gets some CC... and that's it? OH, you also lose 10% of your current health... X.x What?! This ability just sucks. It's difficult to use, it hurts you (Potentially ALOT), AND to top it all of, all it does is CC for upwards of 2 seconds? Everything about this ability is bad. First, no % based costs on your abilities UNLESS that % translate into the effect of the ability. Second, either make this DO something other than CC, or remove the channel. Finally, why does Marcus only have one arm?
he has one arm because the monastery monks, remove it they torture him badly in order to remove his power (this is the original idea) that's why he has only one arm.
Ironclaw doesn't have cast time...when used BINGO...like Volibear's scream...and i also increased a little the AoE...and Desorient REMOVES vision from PLAYERS...like Nocturne's ult...that why the name of this disable is DESORIENT...like a Concussion Granade on several shoother video games such as Call of Duty, Ghost Recon...and so on.....capische?
oh and i also removed the 10% health cost and add flat health cost...see what you think about it
E: Tough Enough
SOOOO.... if I am not mistaken, Marcus gets reduces all damage dealt to him (other than True Damage) by a % for a short while, and during that time he gains health back equal to a % of the damage he takes? NOT ONLY that, but this effect lasts 10 seconds on a 15 second cool down... which can be reduced to ... about 9 seconds at max CDR... meaning this free ability can ALWAYS be active? This is just OP. It's like Alister's Ult, but works only slightly differently... I don't even know where to begin. Give it JUST a flat Damage Reduction value, raise the cool down to 20 seconds, give it a scaling duration (perhaps 3/4/5/6/7 seconds), and maybe give it a passive effect... like a 10% bonus to your armor and magic resistance. >.>
ops i saw the defect you pointed...my bad...i am usually good in Champion Math...but this was actually broken
so i increase the CD to 20 seconds, with max CD reduc it goes to 12 seconds...the health bonus will only proc for 5 seconds down from 10 seconds...and the Health convertion first was 5 seconds ...now is 3 seconds...
Ultimate: Try Again
SO... important. Is this a passive ability? Like, it doesn't require being activated does it? It just automatically happens when you die? Because that's bad. Even Trynd needs to activate his ult, and that doesn't GUARANTEE him life, just a chance at it. This is like a bad cross between Anivia's and Kog Maw's PASSIVES. Honestly, this has no business being an ultimate ability. Try again.
ops i forgot to add that here too...other summoner told me to do that...i forgot! my bad!
it can be activated now....in the middle of the battle
when Marcus is killed also triggers this
THANK YOU VERY MUCH MAN!!!!
your critics makes Marcus better....whatever you need just asks me...and i will soon review you with the same attention you displayed when review me....thanks a lot again...
oh and Lore matter...
i will re-write ...i hope it explains better what people needs to know about Marcus