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I call jungle second but am first pick. I say I'm taking jungle and the guy gets all pissed at me saying he called first. Then, in another game, I call first but someone else takes jungle before me saying that he is in front of me to pick. So which is it?

Well in ranked it is usually pick order, but then you get dumbasses who get counter picked.
Today in blind pick some ******y fizz thought pick order mattered, in BLIND PICK. I had to dodge because he locked in with promote surge

pick order generally gets "dibs" but the best thing to do is to quickly determine who is best for the position. like asking there winrate and champion preference in the role they "called"
ie if the enemy team picks Riven and you want to use Rengar top, but your team-mate wants Garen, then your team-mate should probably get the pick

I usualy try to give people the role they called, simply for the fact that they may be better at that role, and can help the team more from that position. You don't want to force a dedicated top laner into playing mid when he knows all the champs / builds / counters / ward positions for top lane. It matters alot less at lower elos, but once you get up there, you had better give people their fcking call.

Call roles. However, if someone higher up than you wants your role, then you have to live with it.

I generally let higher people get their pick and usually compensate.

I call out my top three spots and fill in from there.

Calling out your role doesn't mean anything. If 3 people call mid, and noone budges, you've now got 3 people going mid lane. Pick order at least is based off ranked/normal elo and has some mild semblance of order.

well the smart thing to do in ranked i woudl think si pick champs that cant be easily counterpicked first...for exampel the jungler cant relaly be counterpicked for the laning phase, so i would guess thats a great choice for first pick...lots of junglers also might be able to do solo top

if you pick, say, mid lane first, and go as brand...well i tihnk lux beats brand up pretty bad, they might coutnerpick lux...kinda puts you at a tactical disadvantage picking certain lanes first. (i dunno maybe thats jsut my opinion...but when i play ap its either brand, lux, or cassiopeia...so ive been lux vs brand and ive been brand vs lux...its hard to explain exactly why lux seems to beat brand so much, but i certainly notice it)