Ahem, testing, testing...

Greetings, esteemed members of the League of Legends! I am Professor Heimerdinger, Founder and Head of the Yordle Academy of Science & Progress, among other notable accolades.

I have been informed by one of my students that this area is used as a place of inquiry for the League's foremost celebrities, and as such, have deemed that I require a place to answer the questioning minds of the Valoran public in my own indubitable fashion.

I will be spending most of my time in my laboratory, but will be answering questions left here between experimental trials.

Until such time, remember, science is always on the march!

Professor Heimerdinger,

What is your current stance on the mechanization of organic beings and what, if any, merits or benefits to scientific progress it would entail if done on a grand scale? No, wait, disregard that previous inquiry. I have already asked Master Yi how much, exactly, his goggles can see and he directed me to your genius. Now that you have a column as well, I can finally ask for a proper response.

- Viktor, the Machine Herald

Ah, an excellent question.

I admit that I find the process of techmaturgical augmentation to organics a fascinating intellectual exercise. Indeed, using science to enhance the talents of the citizens of valoran invites multiple ways to change Valoran for the better.

However, this technology brings with it many fine lines, specifically the trading for these newfound abilities with the very qualities that enable our pursuit of these enhancements. I fear that if unchecked, augmentation could very well rob us of our humanity, or yordality as it were. A race of machines cannot hope to match the ingenuity, creativity, and imagination of the tried and true system of trillions of neurons that we as organics possess.

That said, it is a school of science well worth looking into, so long as we do not cross the point of no return.

Professor Heimerdinger,

I see. I thank you for your fair and unbiased reply. Also, as to the goggles that Master Yi wears? I am curious as to the limits of their visual capacity?

- Viktor, the Machine Herald

Yes, the so called "Seven Lenses of Insight." I installed a copious range of the spectrum for Master Yi to utilize, including night vision, infrared, and ultraviolet, among others. They also contain an X-ray function, but this is forcibly deactivated while participating in League matches in the interest of fairness.

In addition, they contain a telescopic feature which can bring in a clear image from miles away. (light pending of course.) As to exact limits, while they can technically see for dozens of miles, the answer lies with Master Yi himself. They are synced to Yi's own magical resonance, allowing him to not only adjust settings without the use of his hands, but the distance he needs to see accordingly. However, distances more than a few miles can become mentally straining, so they require abnormally large amounts of concentration in order to bring out their full capability. Of course, Master Yi has just the concentration for such an endeavor. As to how far he's seen, I'm afraid you'll have to ask him.

Professor Heimerdinger,

I summon you a lot most of the time and I feel honored to have you allow spend your hard time asking question. Now my question.

Is there a reason your CH-1 Concussion Grenade moves so slowly? Is there something in it that hinders its movement?

Indeed there is!

You may have noticed that when thrown, the CH-1 moves in a straight line to its destination, as opposed to succumbing to gravity and descending. Due to my lack of...physical aptitude, I would only be able to throw it distances well short of it being effective for its intended purposes were it launched normally. To resolve this, each grenade is outfitted with a hextech gyroscopic inertial extender, allowing it to move far greater lengths than I would be able to throw it.

However, in order to perform this task, the inertial extender absorbs the kinetic energy of the grenade's velocity, resulting in a decrease in said velocity. As a result, range is traded for speed.

Heimerdinger! Where is my pulsecannon?! Quit grooming your mustache and get your eyes off the ladies, I really wonder what's taking so long, are there any technical issues with it?
((In my thread I stated I was working with you to construct my pulsecannon.))

Bah! As if I would waste my valuable time with such frivolities as "the ladies!"

...Though adherence to facial hair care is important for appearance's sake.

Regardless, I have informed you numerous times that the pulsecannon is as of yet only able to convert your amulet's unique brand of energy a limited number of times before melting down! Unless you have grown weary of your appendages, I suggest you allow me to continue fine-tuning it.

To quote the crude vernacular, "it will be ready when its ready."

Heimerdinger,
What is your breakfast of Champions? And I have a second... How did you get your hair so....Bushy?

-Grey