Here are a few general things about your character that I see:
- Your champ was built around the idea of fun to play, but the idea of fun to play against cant be seen
- You should aim to make the skills as simple as possible while retaining the same effect.
- Whenever you say damage or bleed, specify whether it is magic, physical, or true damage
- Remake your ult from the ground up
Passive:
- when this says deflect, is that similar to dodge? Dodge was removed from the game because it was infuriating to play against, I would not suggest re-introducing it.
- there isnt too much wrong with the passive if it just acts like a chance-bound thornmail, but i would suggest scrapping it and replacing it with a different passive.
- I would suggest making a new passive that focuses on bleeding your opponents with your skills, as bleeding seems to be an important factor for all your skills. You would then take the bleeding effect out of the skills, and the champ would become much easier to understand. Right now it would be like saying “this skill applies a stack of sunlight which can be proc’d by one of your allies for x magic damage” onto each of leona’s skills, it is very redundant.
Q:
- I would suggest removing the passive from this and putting it into the main passive I suggested
- The range per level seems unneeded, you could just have the skill at 800 range from the beginning
- a 2 second cooldown is very very low, and it doesn’t cost much mana, I would suggest keeping this skill at a static cooldown that does not decrease per level
W:
- Again range/level is unneeded, just pick a static range
- I think it’s just a typo, but your cooldown is increasing per level
- again move the bleeding to the new passive
E:
- a 1 second wall is a bit underpowered, I would suggest setting the duration to a flat duration of at least equal to 3 seconds
- again move the bleeding to the passive
R:
You need to remake this ult due to how extraordinarily overpowered it is, lets go over it in detail.
- 500/700/1000 true damage to champions; thus whenever a champ gets to 50% health, you kill them, and they can’t run away, as it is a lock-on skill with 2000 range. Think about playing against this, it would be terrible, people complain about darius ult in lane, and you do more damage with your ult at lvl 1 then darius gets at level 3. This alone is overpowered enough to scrap the skill.
- Lock-on stun at 2000 range: lets first look at the state of all cc. Cc is really powerful, it is balanced by having lock-on cc only available at close range, and long-range cc is balanced by having its power wrapped up in skill shots, thus you opponent can dodge or you can miss. Your skill has none of these weaknesses, and should be reconsidered.
Cait’s ult does indeed have 2000 range, but it also has an indicator and can be intercepted by an ally, thus it has counterplay.
- The bleed damage is a bit ambiguous, im assuming you mean for 40/50/60 percent of the initial skill damage. So this skill does 200/350/500 damage over 5/6/7 seconds, that is about the damage that other ults do in and of itself.
- If controlling the puppet with your strings is the main point of this skill, you should remake the skill with that in mind.
Some final thoughts for if you rework this champ and make future champs:
- Put yourself in the shoes of the champ you are making and put yourself in the shoes of an existing champ going up against you own champ. Here is the place where you make sure your champ is both fun to play and fun to play against.
- Work on making the champ work thematically. For example a 2000 range ult is way longer than a person using a wire should have, cait using a sniper rifle however would be expected to have this kind of range.
im honestly all for the idea, i hope my review was helpful, ill reply to your questions if i can find the thread again.
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