From the journal of summoner Issun Miyamo -- 12/26/2011

I, a summoner in the ploy of the Institute of War, have recently grown curious about the actual lives of the various champions in the League of Legends. To this end, I've prepared a series of interviews with the champions for reports to publish in Valoran's media. The interviews are as yet incomplete, but I still have ideas of what questions to ask. Examples include...

What do you like and dislike about the League of Legends?
Do you miss anyone in your homeland? If so, who, and why?
What is your favorite food?
What is your favorite color?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you? Why?
How long do you plan to stay in the League?
What other plans do you have for the future?

I have informed many other summoners about this project, and some of them have agreed to help.

This is where you, the reader, come in. Please post any transcripts or requests for any champions you would like to be interviewed. The only real rule is that you have to keep the champions in character (the LoL Wiki may help). I'll also be participating in this activity.

Champions yet to be interviewed:

• Diana
• Fiora
• Jax
• Jayce
• Kassadin
• Kha'Zix
• Lulu
• Malzahar
• Mordekaiser
• Nasus
• Olaf
• Rengar
• Ryze
• Sejuani
• Skarner
• Syndra
• Twisted Fate
• Udyr
• Urgot
• Volibear
• Warwick

If you were a summoner, who would you enjoy summoning the most, and why him/her/it?

This is a quick version, nothing too lengthy.

With Master 'Insta-gib' Yi!

Jayko: So...what do you like to do in your spare time?
Master Yi: I like to go out to the gardens and meditate to vent my anger away from myself. It's not healthy to keep it inside.
J: That is a very good way of thinking about things. What do you like about the League, being in it and such?
MYi: The housing is amazing, and it's a great place to voice my concerns about how my people in Ionia have been mistreated.
J: So, you don't like to abuse your power? Very kind of you. Is there anything that you can't stand about the League?
MYi: Well, for one, they're a bit domineering. Also, there are so few from my homeland...it is lonely.
J: Speaking of your homeland, is there anyone you miss? If you do, why?
MYi: ^Stays silent for a minute^
J: Did I insult you?
MYi: No, I'm sorry. It's just, everyone I knew personally is dead.
J: I'm...I'm so sorry.
MYi: Don't worry. It's an easy mistake to make. You didn't know.
J: So, continuing...huh...what else is on the list...ah, yes, are there any foods you're fond of?
MYi: Yes, very much so. I'm absolutely in love with Sushi. I can't get enough of it.
J: How about a favorite color?
MYi: Chartreuse.
J: I'm sorry, did I hear you say 'new shoes?'
MYi: No, Chartreuse.
J: Ooookay then. Moving on. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you? Why?
MYi: Riven. She's not only very kind and beautiful, she's also a master of the sword. And might I add--
J: That I'm dating her?
MYi: Oh. Whoops.
J: It's fine. It's just in a fanfic.
MYi: And I...?
J: You are my teacher in the fanfic. But that doesn't matter right now. How long do you plan to stay in the League?
MYi: As long as I can. Which will be a very, very long time. You know, I lived for a few thousand years through several Rune Wars.
J: You...that was in your old lore, Master Yi. You're probably in your thirties, now.
MYi: O rly? U wnt at meh?
J: And that concludes our interview!

-Jaykoboy-

Kog'Maw

Issun: Uh, so, Kog'Maw, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Kog'Maw: (gurgle)
Issun: What was that? I didn't catch that.
Kog'Maw: Eat lot. Hungry.
Issun: ...Moving right along. What do you like about the League?
Kog'Maw: Like funny people. Look weird.
Issun: Is there anything you don't like about the League?
Kog'Maw: Shiny. Too shiny.
Issun: Ooooooookay... Well, is there anyone you miss in your homeland?
Kog'Maw: (gurgle)
Issun: Uh, what?
Kog'Maw: (cough)
Issun: Really? Nothing to that?
Kog'Maw: ...
Issun: Okay, moving right along, then. What is your favorite food?
Kog'Maw: FOOD?! (excited growl)
Issun: AAGH! GET BACK! GET BACK!
Kog'Maw: (attacks the camera and eats it)

Tristana

Issun: So, Tristana, is it?
Tristana: Yep. That's me.
Issun: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Tristana: I usually just go around and talk with whoever I think needs talking to. Some people might find that annoying, but hey. There's no harm in making new friends, right?
Issun: I guess not.
Tristana: I also love watching fireworks. Such pretty explosions.
Issun: Okay. That's nice. Since coming to the League, what do you like about it?
Tristana: The chance to see so many different...uh...people and other sentient creatures. One word of advice, though: never mention food in front of Kog'Maw.
Issun: Yeesh, don't remind me. Now, is there anything about the League you don't like?
Tristana: I guess I'd have to say those minions. Have you seen what they look like behind their masks?
Issun: Well, no, and judging from the way you just said that, I probably wouldn't want to. And by the way, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Tristana: Uh, almost.
Issun: Almost?
Tristana: Yeah. Almost as in somewhere between "not really" and "sorta kinda". We yordles always make it a point to keep in touch with each other. Well, except for maybe Veigar; that guy's looney.
Issun: He did get trapped in solitary confinement for months in Noxus, so you can't really blame him.
Tristana: Yeah, maybe.
Issun: So, what is your favorite food?
Tristana: Apples, hands down. And not just because they're delicious, either; I recently found out that they're the perfect size and shape to use as ammo for my hand cannon. (laugh) Think of the fun at parties!
Issun: I can only imagine. What is your favorite color?
Tristana: Blue, I guess. No, wait. Yellow.
Issun: Good, good. So, you say you've met a lot of interesting champions here, right?
Tristana: Looks like.
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Tristana: Teemo. He and I have gotten along very well since we met.
Issun: So I hear. I've even heard rumors that you two are a couple. Are they true?
Tristana: Oh, look! A monkey!
Issun: (turns to see Wukong) That's just Wukong. What about him?
Tristana: He is a monkey, isn't he?
Issun: Well, yes. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Tristana: Until it runs out of new champions to recruit, I guess. Then again, at the rate it keeps up its current selection process, everyone in Runeterra could be in it someday.
Issun: Yeah, perhaps. Well, thanks for taking the time to talk with me.
Tristana: My pleasure.

Xin Zhao

Issun: So, you must be Xin Zhao. Did I pronounce your name right?
Xin Zhao: Don't worry about it. It's easier for some than "Viscero". I'll tell you that.
Issun: I guess so. Now, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Xin Zhao: What an odd question to start an interview. But if I had to choose, I guess I'd have to say writing poetry. It helps take my mind off of stressful situations.
Issun: You mean like meditation?
Xin Zhao: Yes, except that you can actually see your own thoughts manifest physically.
Issun: Okay. That sounds good. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Xin Zhao: The fact that I can continue living as I've always lived without any negative repercussions and put that life to good use. You probably know that I used to be a gladiator in Noxus.
Issun: Yes, I do. At any rate, what do you dislike about the League?
Xin Zhao: Prince Jarvan IV's public insistence that all of Runeterra must follow Demacia's example. More specifically that he mentions it almost every other sentence. It's really embarrassing not only for me but for all of Demacia.
Issun: I'll bet. Is there anyone you miss in your homeland?
Xin Zhao: Absolutely not.
Issun: But isn't Demacia your homeland now?
Xin Zhao: Technically no, and as much as I'd love to say otherwise, Noxus is and always will be. You know, I actually became a gladiator because I was a wanted criminal.
Issun: What did you do?
Xin Zhao: I left a restaurant without paying the bill.
Issun: That's a high crime in Noxus? It sounds like an even worse place to live coming from you than it does on paper.
Xin Zhao: Trust me. You do not want to know the full story.
Issun: Okay. Moving along, what's your favorite food?
Xin Zhao: I suppose I'd have to say curry. More specifically red roast duck curry.
Issun: What about a color?
Xin Zhao: Turquoise and crimson, but I could only pick turquoise for the tassels on my spear.
Issun: I see. Is there anyone you've met in the League who particularly interests you?
Xin Zhao: In what sense?
Issun: Any sense, I guess.
Xin Zhao: Then I suppose I'd have to say the Kinkou triumvirate.
Issun: You mean Shen, Akali, and Kennen?
Xin Zhao: Yes. I'm curious about how such capable fighters managed to elude Ionia's near extermination for so long.
Issun: They must've had their methods. At any rate, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Xin Zhao: The day I leave will be the day I see all of Noxus burn for its evil. Or at least I'm truly worthy of honoring the legacy of the late King Jarvan II.
Issun: I think the latter will come long before the former does.
Xin Zhao: Perhaps.
Issun: Well, that's all the time we have for now. Thanks for participating in this interview.
Xin Zhao: You're welcome.

Kayle

Kayle: State your business, summoner.
Issun: I'm just here for an interview, Kayle.
Kayle: ...Very well. Proceed.
Issun: Okay. I'll make this as quick as I can. To start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Kayle: I am a warrior of the angels, dedicated to eradicating evil; I have no "spare time".
Issun: Okay, then. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Kayle: Only that it still has yet to interfere with affairs in my homeland. For that, I am thankful.
Issun: What do you dislike about the League?
Kayle: That so many evil beings abound unchecked in this realm, none the least of whom being my sister, Morgana.
Issun: That's kind of harsh. Anyway, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Kayle: ...There are many from my homeland I miss dearly, but none whom I am at liberty to mention to you.
Issun: I see. Moving along, what's your favorite food?
Kayle: I do not strictly need to eat as mortals like yourself do, but I am not above the desire to merely enjoy the taste of food. I am quite fond of a certain type of whey bread said to fill a grown human for a day with but a small bite.
Issun: I'll bet. I wish I knew the recipe.
Kayle: I have tried many times to bake it myself, but I always burn it.
Issun: I see. What's your favorite color, then?
Kayle: ...I know not...
Issun: Okay. Is there anyone in the League who particularly interests you?
Kayle: If by that, you refer to any sense in general, I suppose the formerly human magus, Xerath, deserves mention. He is a living testament to the ravages of the same evil that fuels Morgana.
Issun: Well, there's a saying I once heard: "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
Kayle: No truer words have reached my ears, summoner.
Issun: I guess. At any rate, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Kayle: My pact was originally set for 1000 years, but upon the disappearance of High Counselor Reginald Ashram, I now only intend to stay as long as I absolutely must.
Issun: You mean until you find out what happened to Ashram and rectify it?
Kayle: Correct. I also may add that I have learned a great deal in my short time since joining the League, more than I ever thought possible in my life prior.
Issun: Such as?
Kayle: Xerath became the creature he is now because of his own lust for power just as Morgana did, but at heart, he only desired recognition he felt he was denied all his life. Perhaps I was wrong to sever my filial ties with Morgana. Perhaps all she has wanted after all these ages is recognition, a sense of belonging...a purpose...
Issun: You may be more right about that than you realize. It was nice talking with you.
Kayle: You are welcome. Now leave me.
Issun: Okay.

Swain

Issun: Uh, Jericho Swain, is it?
Swain: Yes, it is. And since you're so intent on probing me for information, I might as well indulge you.
Issun: Well, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Swain: Why, care for my beloved raven, of course.
Issun: I see. What do you mean by that?
Swain: What do you think I mean?
Issun: ...Right. Anyway, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Swain: The opportunity to formulate and test exciting strategies again and again. And also the opportunity to gain enough influence to one day rule Noxus.
Issun: What do you dislike about the League?
Swain: The nagging feeling that the Institute of War is somehow biased in those Demacian worms' favor.
Issun: Being just a summoner, I don't have much say in what goes on within the High Council, so I wouldn't know for sure. Maybe you're just being paranoid.
Swain: And maybe you should get on with this interview. I have many important matters to attend to and little time to attend to them.
Issun: Oh, right. Do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Swain: Bah! As if that's any of your concern. In Noxus, only the strong survive, and that leaves no time for forging such frail bonds.
Issun: So I hear. At any rate, what's your favorite food?
Swain: Waldorf salad. Nothing fancy.
Issun: What about a color?
Swain: Midnight green.
Issun: Got it. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Swain: My old colleague, Emilia LeBlanc. Her motives remain a mystery even to me.
Issun: So I hear. And how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Swain: Until two things happen. 1: I gain enough influence to rule Noxus. 2: The so-called "Exemplar" of Demacia, Jarvan IV, lies dead at my feet. Permanently.
Issun: That's incredibly specific.
Swain: Yes, it is. Now if you have nothing more to ask me, begone!

Sona

Issun: So, you must be Sona, right? I'm quite a fan of your music.
Sona: ...
Issun: Oh, right. I forgot; you can't talk... I suppose that--
Sona: (hands Issun a pen, a sheet of paper, and a clipboard)
Issun: Wait. How'd you get that?
Sona: ...
Issun: Uh, never mind. (hands Sona the pen and clipboard) So, to start off, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: ...Hmm, okay. Uh, do you mind if I say your answers out loud for the audience?
Sona: (shakes her head)
Issun: Thanks. So, your first answer is..."playing my etwahl in the streets for passersby".
Sona: (nods)
Issun: I imagine that being unable to speak all your life, that really sets your mind at ease.
Sona: (nods)
Issun: Next question: what do you like about the League of Legends?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "I can meet new people and spend time with them, even without talking."
Sona: (nods)
Issun: Okay. That's very nice for you. What do you dislike about the League?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "No one has found a way to help me talk yet." Oh, geez. That's harsh.
Sona: (nods)
Issun: I see. Well, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "Lestara." She was the woman who finally adopted you in Ionia, isn't she?
Sona: (nods)
Issun: I can only imagine what it was like for you when your etwahl went berserk and killed her.
Sona: ...
Issun: Oh, sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. Moving along, what's your favorite food?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "Strawberries."
Sona: (nods)
Issun: I see. What about a color?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "Goldenrod." That's nice.
Sona: (nods)
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "Shyvana?" Care to explain?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "She's a bit like me; all she's ever wanted all her life was companionship. I just wish I could tell her how I feel." And I thought she was just a battle-crazed monster.
Sona: (leers at Issun)
Issun: Oh, sorry. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "Until I can teach someone else how to play the etwahl."
Sona: (nods)
Issun: That's very nice of you. If only anyone could take the time to learn here... Well, thanks for letting me talk with you.
Sona: (scribble scribble scribble) (shows her answer)
Issun: "You're welcome."
Sona: (nods) (smiles)

Gangplank

Issun: I assume you're Gangplank.
Gangplank: (laugh) In the flesh, boyo!
Issun: Okay. Now, to start off, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Gangplank: The same thing any seasoned scourge of the seven seas does: drinkin' with me crew! Also, plottin' me next great raid. A pirate's life be a busy life, let me tell ya.
Issun: It must be. At any rate, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Gangplank: Like? Well, I can only say the food's to die for. Literally! (laugh)
Issun: ...
Gangplank: What's the matter, summoner? Cat got your tongue?
Issun: Uh, no. I just never thought of the food that way.
Gangplank: Aye.
Issun: So, what do you dislike about the League?
Gangplank: Well, the food be ta die for, but the rum? Yeesh. What sick concoction be that blimp, Gragas, stewin'?
Issun: Well, I've never tried it myself, so I wouldn't know. I hear it's pretty...uh...unique, to say the least.
Gangplank: Ye not be missin' much, lad.
Issun: Okay. At any rate, is there anyone you miss in your homeland?
Gangplank: There be only one rule in Bilgewater: kill or be killed. Me crew be the closest thing to anyone I miss back there.
Issun: I see. I even heard that your father was thoroughly elated to have you backstab him.
Gangplank: Aye. Many parents would've cursed their kin for that, but not me pappy.
Issun: ...Anyway, what's your favorite food?
Gangplank: Swordfish, 'cause once I'm done eatin' it, I can use its nose as a spare blade.
Issun: What about a color?
Gangplank: Why, the color of the coat on me back, of course: blood red.
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Gangplank: The young ninja lass, Akali. She has a strange allure not unlike St. Elmo's Fire.
Issun: Romantically?
Gangplank: Not a chance! I mean ta say she be quite the strange yet capable fighter. A perfect adversary for me to test me mettle.
Issun: What about Shen and Kennen?
Gangplank: What about Shen and Kennen? Those two be more maddening than millions 'a' gulls screamin' "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" over and over.
Issun: And that, I guess, feeds directly into this stupid "Pirate vs. Ninja" craze I keep hearing many other summoners rave about.
Gangplank: So, it does...
Issun: Well, to end this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Gangplank: I have no plans to stay at all; I could leave any time I like and still come home as Pirate King. But where be the fun in that?
Issun: I guess you have a point there. Well, thanks for taking the time to let me talk with you.
Gangplank: And thank you for takin' the time to chat! (hearty laugh)