I short circuited all the lights everywhere and drowned everyone in pitch black darkness

I launched my big red rocket into a crowd...nugget

I devoured someone else whole and gained much bulk from it, I would do it again, if I didn't get arrested for it. Off to jail now, but they won't keep me in for long, no one can...

I tried to give someone lasik surgery... ended up erasing them from existence. Oh well...Stay positive!

I tackled a guy in the moonlight for his wallet. I couldn't rush away fast enough though.

I slammed President (uncle) Ryze against the wall, but doesn't matter, I have Diplomatic Immunity.

I... unleashed the horsemen of the apocalypse, thus bringing about the end of the world?

Yeah, I guess that's arrest-worthy. Though I never actually thought the Mayans had it right o.O

I got a DUI

But I don't have a drinking problem, when I'm not spilling trying to make that sharp turn.

I was too tall . . . much too tall . . . *shudders*

I threw some blood on the ground and gave people hyper-AIDS. Oops