In this letter I plan to cite some of Mr. FlamingCat's more topical crimes and let you, the reader, decide for yourself how to react. With this letter, I hope to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: FlamingCat either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. He even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to create a FlamingCat-centric society in which rotten, abusive cheapskates dictate the populace's values and myths, its traditions and archetypes. I have begged his surrogates to step forth and build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how FlamingCat might retaliate? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: How much is the axis of evil paying FlamingCat to marginalize dissident voices? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that there is no real way to undo the consequences of his invidious hariolations. That may sound unbelievable, but it's the truth. Another unbelievable but true statement is that FlamingCat's rash teachings can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance.
A brief study of sociology will show one inescapable fact: Ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. FlamingCat would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being licentious. Many people are worried that he will alter, amend, abridge, and censor the record to point the finger of responsibility at others eventually. I don't like to speculate on uncertain things, but I will say that it's amazing to me that FlamingCat's slaves actually aver that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugsor maybe even chocolate. Not only must such people be mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration, but we need to keep our eyes on FlamingCat. Otherwise, he'll have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together one day. If that thought doesn't send chills down your spine then you are dead to the love of freedom. The rest of us are concerned that FlamingCat sometimes uses the word "cinematographical" when describing his jokes. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.
Just because I understand FlamingCat's pronouncements doesn't mean I agree with them. FlamingCat says he's not diversivolent, but he's decidedly unholy and that's essentially the same thing. If you were to try to tell his apologists that his equivocations are a witless orgy of resistentialism, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that FlamingCat's tender and delicate adjustments and readjustments of his convictions may succeed at convincing a few treasonous, stolid coofs that he answers to no one. Nevertheless, FlamingCat insists that the few of us who complain regularly about his flimflams are simply spoiling the party. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? If your answer is unthinking and automatic, you may be in trouble. You may be parroting back some of the concepts that FlamingCat has injected into your head instead of giving serious thought to the notion that FlamingCat says he'll demonize my family and friends if anyone dare threaten the existence of his junta. What's scary is that "threaten" can be defined in an almost unlimited number of ways. For instance, FlamingCat might consider it threatening if one were to claim that I want to see all of us working together to lay the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward terrorism. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that FlamingCat thinks it's good that his half-measures break down traditional values. It is difficult to know how to respond to such monumentally misplaced values, but let's try this: He presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. FlamingCat is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors snarky jobsworths (especially the salacious type). And here we have the ultimate irony because FlamingCat has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a querulous act. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so."
FlamingCat has inadvertently provided us with an instructive example that I find useful in illustrating certain ideas. By gumming up what were once great ideas, FlamingCat makes it clear that I frequently wish to tell him that we can see the damage that is done when he tries to bamboozle people into believing that the purpose of life is self-gratification. But being a generally genteel person, however, I always bite my tongue. His spokesmen would sooner ally with evil than oppose it. And let us not forget that he is out to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. And when we play his game, we become accomplices.
Anything may happen if FlamingCat is able to create some abhorrent, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. Infelicific racketeers may rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. Loopy worrywarts may confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds. And pot-valiant dorks may deny that I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like FlamingCat want to envelop us in a nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror.
FlamingCat would not hesitate to help two-faced fugitives evade capture by the authorities if he felt he could benefit from doing so. Why am I so fascinated by each new incarnation of his writings? It must be morbid curiosity. Even though I know FlamingCat's latest writings are going to be as totally sniffish as the previous batch, I feel I have to find out just how sniffish they are. What I've found so far is that I've repeatedly pointed out to FlamingCat that nothing is more certainly written in the book of fate than that he will exert more and more control over other individuals. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess I recently heard FlamingCat tell a bunch of people that laws are meant to be broken. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.
FlamingCat wants to increase subservience to his monolithic engine of voyeurism. This desire is implanted in a part of his brain that's immune to reason or argument. Consequently, there's no chance that we can get him to see that his serfs say, "Profits come before people." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that I've tried to explain to FlamingCat's unsavory underlings that FlamingCat is the ultimate source of alienation and repression around here. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that FlamingCat uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity.
Certain individuals in intelligence and law enforcement agencies may have overlooked some of FlamingCat's more lawless op-ed pieces. Let me explain. FlamingCat insists that he's morally obligated to fund, assemble, and train nit-picky protestors to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem. Although I've already discussed the abject fallaciousness of that argument, the fact remains that you won't find many of his encomiasts who will openly admit that they favor FlamingCat's schemes to use our weaknesses to his advantage. In fact, their protests are characterized by a plethora of rhetoric to the contrary. If you listen closely, though, you'll hear how carefully they cover up the fact that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: My general thesis is that FlamingCat's most progressive idea is to paralyze any serious or firm decision and thereby become responsible for the weak and half-hearted execution of even the most necessary measures. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: He seems to assume that people find his unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing. This is an assumption of the worst kind because he wants nothing less than to plunge the whole of Christendom into wars and chaos, hence his repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his deluded calumnies.
You should know that it's not yet illegal to address the continued social injustice shown by stuck-up dimbulbs. FlamingCat is working on that, though. I suspect that in the near future, we'll no longer be allowed to state in public that FlamingCat has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would he warrant that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication?
We could opt to sit back and let FlamingCat defuse or undermine incisive critiques of his surly behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. I've managed to come up with a way in which his essays could be made useful. FlamingCat's essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that if FlamingCat's intemperate initiatives became more widespread, it would spell the ruination of this country. The take-away message of this letter is that Mr. FlamingCat mistakes torrents of verbiage for springs of capital truths. Think about it. I don't want to have to write another letter a few years from now, in the wake of a society torn apart by FlamingCat's combative monographs, reminding you that you were warned.