2 gud need moar

captain marvelous pls

i cried... i cried alot when urgot took the lobotomy for diana... urgot is my hero..

more pls

Hehehehehe! Wait, why am I writing down my laughter? Oh nevermind.

It is I, Heimerdinger. Wait, you seriously thought I was insane? Oh please. So long as they think I'm mad, I can work on getting myself out of this dump. Well, MAYBE I've gone a little mad. I've been repeatedly blinding Vladimir and stealing his blood ball to write with and further the facade.

But given how terrible I am, how could I be unforgotten? Well, most of these fools only think that the only mode worth playing is that stupid map with the river. I say that the only purpose of Summoner's Rift is for the latest overpowered Summoner Strategy to penetrate. Too slow in my view, so lewd to watch.

No, I'm fueled by the Crystal Scar. You see, there's an odd dynamic to Dominion, in which 4 champions head for Windmill and 1 champion heads for the lane between the two bottom points. It is there that I truly shine. Yes, I'm still prey to good teams who know how to gank, but there are so many pubs to stomp...it is bliss.

There's also the "murder bridge." I absolutely adore that map, no matter how much I would prefer we all had peace.

Of course, while I do anticipate my rework, I'm more than content in the meantime.

Karma

Karma is the only one I've ever told my tale--it's almost like we've formed a spiritual bond! She loves Murder Bridge even more than I do! Her silence (and lack of hard crowd control) is but a ruse. We've enlightened more than ONE fool about her AP ratios!

Incidentally, Swain's ravens told me that her rework is coming some time later this month. We'll be ready for it!

Urgot

Bwahaha! No matter how sympathetic I feel towards my fellow champions, I can't help but laugh, since Urgot's been dominating Dominion since the dawn of time! He managed to find Talon's old Black Cleaver (and don't worry, he used to carry two around), and he wrecks everything! Why, he's even starting to see people pick him up again on Summoner's Rift--what a Riot!

Not only that, but it's so EASY to just disconnect his eye-lights to fool the wardens. Oh, it was especially easy to fool Teemo--in fact, I'm thinking HE's the one who got the lobotomy, if my Patch Beforehand Emulator is right about the Lightbringer rework. I'll be letting them know the truth soon.

Sadly, other than our superior status, we're in an even worse state than the Summoner's Rift champions right now.

I'll explain later--Darius incoming, need to hide this! Good thing my turrets have goggle compartments...

best thread NA.

bump

anyone else getting a one flew over the cuckoo's nest vibe from this story?

Diana's log.

This is my final entry. I'm being let out...but I'm putting the closing parts into this last entry.

When Urgot was smothered, it was not one person. Yes, we each tried but it was not possible by one hand. Everyone came, even Heimer, and placed a hand on the pillow. He was so tired. So weak...I still cry sometimes. It hurts to think that someone so noble was brought to such a damned state. When the wardens found him...they didn't even bat an eye. They thought our spirit was broken. They were wrong.

Now that I am giving my log, I can divulge how this log escaped the prison: I spoke with Nidalee. The summoner in the red coat often walked by the prison. It was on the way. He would do simply because he is the only one who did not avoid those in the League. For all intensive purposes I asked Nidalee to romance him. She would meet me for 'rehab' work and keep the progress noted.

She will tell him everything after this last meeting. He will probably be hurt that Nidalee does not actually love him....or she may. I care not. I just need to know that he will get this book.

Right now, you're probably reading this, summoner in red. I don't know what you do. I don't know your name. I don't know anything about you...but I do know one thing. You are a summoner. You have access to the others. You can tell them how we are treated.

We are not playthings.
We are not servents.
We are beings. Intelligent, living beings.
We are abused because we care for you. We give you entertainment because we desire that you care for us back. We want nothing more than to make you happy. Please, tell them how we are treated...and fix us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is how this story began. Nidalee offered me a book. I read it. We're still together. But it's...strained. I don't know if she actually likes me or she was just a pawn in Diana's scheme. Hell, I don't even know if Diana was the good one. Using me, Nidalee, every single person in that prison as a pawn in her game to get revenge...

I don't know. Regardless, I'm setting this message out for all summoners to read. Will I lose my summoner's membership for this? Probably. Will I be tortured? Again, probably. Putting this out to the world probably doomed any chance of happiness. S'funny. One day you wake up next to the bestial huntress. The next you stare at the ceiling alone as you think about your whole world shattering.

I will not tell you who is the good guy. Who is the bad guy. If the suffering of a few justifies balance. If the subjugation of the champions is for the best. I'm letting you decide if what Diana says is true or not.

As I write this, there is a knock at my door. It could be anyone. Diana. Nidalee. Any one of the wardens coming to claim me for my own brand of torture. There's a scimitar and pistol by my desk. I'll take it with me to the door.

S'been a hell of a ride everyone. Whatever is behind that door, do me one giant favor.

Don't get in any cars.

-END-