Which champ is it? What would you do with him/her?

Draven would come over to teach me to throw axes at people and brag.

Ahri... it's not incest if it's your cousin right?

Varus will teach me how to point and click

Sona will sit in the corner.

Pantheon will teach me how to jump into space

Mundo will teach me to go where I please.

Gangplank will tell me how to survive near-fatal wounds with oranges.

Vi will give me a pair of giant robotic hands.

Teemo will teach me how to compensate for my "size" issue.

Tryndamere so he can teach me how to be immortal