I should be able to walk down an alleyway in New York at 3 am and not be raped or mugged, but I am smart enough to not do so because I realize that the world is not perfect.
That is the point the guy was making.
That's a problem with -society- not a problem with the person being mugged or raped. The -easiest- logical jump people make is "why would you do something you know is potentially dangerous?"
The problem with that mentality is that is accepts two things to be true:
1) That it's the abused fault because they weren't smart enough, fast enough or strong enough
2) That abusers behaviour is not only acceptable but an inevitable part of life
I accept neither premise. I think there is a -substantial- problem with the way men are educated/taught to respect women. There is a massive problem with how a women and men are taught to view one another, particularly from the mens side.
This is not "mens fault" it's a societal problem. We have created a system and a standard where sexual assault is seen is inevitable and a problem for individuals and not systemic.
The -terrible- numbers are that 1 in every 5 women have been sexually assaulted by the time they turn 25. Every single one of you probably know at least 3 women who have been already. They won't tell you, because its embarrassing and is answered with questions like "well, why did you walk down that alley at 3 a.m?" or "well, why did you get so drunk at that party?"
I know it doesn't feel like it - but statements like the one above ARE in fact victim blaming. To frame it much more extremely and negatively the question becomes,
"Why were you so stupid to get yourself raped?"
I'm not attacking you Kim, please don't think that I am. It's very easy to be "reasonable" about this topic while perpetuating something terrible without realizing it. The way you've phased the question is how we are taught to phase the argument. That's because actually asking the really hard questions take time, effort and lots of money to change.
The most disturbing question - If 1 in 5 women are sexually assault by 25, just how many men are doing it?
Once that sinks in, the need for holistic change really becomes clear.