Greetings, summoners. I have awoken once more, and I am delighted to find that you all actually sent me mail! Maybe i was wrong about how useless and lazy you all are.
Let us proceed.
Originally Posted by Zerglinator
How much do you hate Nasus, in the form of a song?
What does Elise think of Yordles?
Can Zergs and RuneTerrans ever live in harmony, by which I mean allowing the Zerg to infest them?
If Vi has the punch, who has the falcons?
1) Elise, much like myself, finds few things in life can truly match the nearly-erotic pleasure that is tying up yordles and slowly draining their delicious life-juices as their shrieks of pain gradually weaken.
Seriously, it's fun stuff.
2) What is a Zerg I do not even know
3) Currently nobody, as apparently crows are the League's avian of choice.
Originally Posted by Cha0sniper
"Dear Renekton Bot,
What ever happened to you assuming the presidency of Riot Games? Did the thought of battling against Tryndamere turn your bowels to water and make you chicken out? I await your snivelling, cowardly response."
(Also, yay Renekton Bot)
I will not deign to honor this insult with a reply.
P.S. You smell.
Originally Posted by DrTemptragon
Does Zed play board games with his clone?
Does Shaco or LeBlanc?
Does Shaco's clone actually exist? I mean, it's called Hallucination...
Does Skarner sleep curled up like a kitten, and what's his attitude toward Taric?
1) Zed's shadow shares much of its caster's knowledge and malice, so it is extremely unlikely that the two would ever desire to play a "board game" in the first place.
Although if they did, they would both cheat (regarded by them as "unlocking forbidden board game techniques") so the winner would likely be determined by whoever knocks the board over first.
2) Same deal as above. It's interesting to note that the ability to summon a ghostly duplicate is considered by the Runeterran Psychologist Society to be a symptom of Chronic Evil.
3) Shaco's clone is actually constantly following him around. The "Hallucination" in this case is simply that it is no longer invisible.
4) Skarner sleeps by burying himself in the ground, which oddly enough is the way Nasus is going to sleep once I catch him.
Relations between Skarner and Taric have been frosty ever since Taric tried to socket the Crystal Vanguard in his chestplate.
Originally Posted by Goshg
Boss, how hot is it back home?
Zaun lies very close to the Northern edge of Valoran's temperate zone, which means that temperatures normally fall within the "chilly" to "**** this" range.
However, due to Zaun's unique opinions on pollution regulation the temperature remains a constant, balmy 80-115 degrees Fahrenheit.
Oh, wait. Did you mean my home? Well, on my homeworld technology had not quite advanced to the point where mercury thermometers ever became a "thing," so we measured temperature in a way that's a little difficult to translate to Valoranian standards.
Suffice to say that your average day was what we would have called a "bask on the shore with your mouth open" sort of day.
Originally Posted by Marnelos
Who's your favourite IEM Kantowice Summoner and why?
Also how's your bladder doing?
2) Still going
Originally Posted by ShadeeFan
Why are a lot more champions coming out of the Shadow Isles now? Also, how does it make you feel now that there are so many Shadow Isles champions that want to spread fear into people's hearts. I think that's direct competition.
Has Ahri broken up with you yet?
Why is it that champions that have wings/can fly cannot change altitude? Is there a law that doesn't allow them to fly above a certain limit?
1) I personally hold nothing against champions who hail from the Shadow Isles, though I would consider some of their newer champions to be total bandwagoners. Still, you can never have too much fear or tortured yordles.
2) Absolutely not. If anything, I'm dating three times as many Ahris now as when I began.
3) When the League was first established there were no regulations regarding maximum altitude. This led to a number of extremely one-sided matches and a great deal of enmity between champions who were earthbound and champions who were not. Eventually a meeting was held between the high summoners, rules were set in place, and Corki was waking up in the morning to find his R.O.F.L. Copter dismantled far less frequently.
Originally Posted by Lionant
The inhabitants of Mount Targon possess a thirst for war that is perhaps only surpassed by your own thirst for a steaming hot cup of Nasus's blood. How do you feel about the Rakkor and the champions that hail from the mountain (Pantheon, Leona, and Diana)?
How would you fight Hecarim or Thresh outside the League? I am assuming they are both ethereal, and as such are immune to physical weapons. Please correct me if I am wrong.
1) The martial prowess of the Rakkor is spoken of in Valoranian legends, which is appropriate because like legends in general they are massively aggrandized. Claims of their supposed "courage" are contradicted by the fact that most of them still cower behind gigantic shields like great big armored babies.
Diana is a different case, however. In this humble crocodile's opinion, any girl willing to forgo a shield in favor of a blade that big is definitely deserving of some respect/a snuggle.
2) Despite popular opinion, Hecarim and Thresh are not actually ethereal. In order to interact with the material world a given entity must also exist in the material world, therefore both Hecarim and Thresh have tangible physical forms.
Once you blow up those forms, though, that's a different story.
Originally Posted by Borkcire
Do you think Riven would date a guy like me?
Nope. In fact, according to many accounts, Riven wouldn't date a guy at all.
This is false, of course. Riven, like many female champions, has simply been spoiled on men after repeated exposure to myself.
Originally Posted by H3llion
Hows the whole Ninja order war affecting Ionia? the old Ninja Order was attacked and nearly wiped out by Zed's order of shadows. Has the Ionia government stepped in, do they have any ties to the ninjas or is this an internal conflict, are things across Valoran slowly spiraling into chaos without the old ninja order to keep balance from the shadows?
The war between the ninja orders is a complicated issue. It is certainly having an effect on the Ionian economy thanks to an increase in the demand of enchanted steel for magical swords, breathable mask-fabric, black dyes and throwing stars, but due to the nature of ninjas nobody actually knows that anything is even happening.
Currently the Ionian ruling party, a collection of pacifist monks, has taken an extremely hands-off approach to the matter since, for one thing, Ionia does not have an official military. This is due to the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength
which makes any large gathering of uniformed ninja soldiers completely useless. For another thing, there's the fact that they are pacifists and do not wish to enforce their way of living on anyone else, preferring that those seeking enlightenment come to them willingly. It is not known how these monks came to be in charge.
Lastly, like I said, they don't even know there's a war going on.
The Kinkou have expressed an interest in keeping Zed and his students in line, but in adhering to the tenets of their order they are unwilling to actually eliminate him. Balance dictates that good and evil must exist in equal quantities, which means anyone who threatens that balance, be they saint or sinner, must be dealt with. Many Ionians find this completely stupid. Many crocodiles do, too.
Fortunately these ninja battles are kept entirely between involved ninja clans, so none of the carnage has left the shores of Ionia.
Originally Posted by MisDerpina
How is Veigar going to take over the world?
Veigar will attempt to absorb the power of the Shadow Isles before being ensnared in a gigantic web and having his organs turned to liquid. Then he will be drained like a packet of Capri sun and discarded.