Knock knock knock
Teemo’s eyes darted towards the door, sweat brushing his eyebrows.
“DEA! WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP”
He eyes his precious mushrooms. All 3 of them.
He had hoped to make his dreams come true growing those suckers. Times have been hard since the league dropped him. A yordle can’t just wander the fields of justice to find mushrooms anymore. He had actually sneaked in while the league was updating their rules and picked those three out.
As he thought back to it his face paled. It was a hellhole that’d make Nautilus cringe, when nobody was maintaining it. He’d done it though.
The plan was simple, get some mushrooms, start a farm, sell them, get himself a nice shiny Infinity Edge 9800 and live the rest of his life in luxury. Perhaps he was he too hopeful?
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“WE WILL BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN”
No more time. Teemo eyed his quaint hovel. Two windows, one room, pale scratched up brown wallpaper. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He packed up his trusty blowpipe and shoved the 3 lonely mushrooms into his backpack.
He observed the back window; he had picked a room three stories high because that was all he could afford. Teem now regretted that choice. It was a hard surface down there, nothing to cushion his landing if he jumped out. Best case scenario he figured he’d land on his face.
Outcome could be better. His pulse was rising, panic was setting in.
Okay, if he just jumped out the side window, there’s a pool underneath. That episode of Frost notice should help him. All he has to do is throw his bed out the window, jump out, and land on it. Otherwise it’s broken legs for the yordle.
Wait… Can I swim?
He starts hearing heavy thuds on the door. He hurries, throws his bed out the window, then himself just as the door breaks open.
As he’s falling he sees his life flash before him, all those years of hatred, running and hiding, scared for his life. Oh he’d had his jokes too, the mushrooms killing that solo baron killer, the darts blinding the ADC as they fired away. The one time he accidentally spent the whole match motor-boating Sona. His eyes open, he sees the mattress. SUCCESS it isn’t over yet!
Alas, it is winter; the pool has long since been drained. A little moan is heard from the mattress, as a still living yordle suffers indignity and pain 10 times over.
Does Teemo get away? Does Sona still hate him? FIND OUT NEXT TIME.