Like I said, it was a conscious choice to be more deliberate and obvious about a lot of this. The goal wasn't to lay out a bunch of inconclusive and mysterious threads for the character (both Ironstylus and I felt like this would be confusing and frustrating to a lot of players who are really just looking for a character preview, not a puzzle), it was to present as much information as possible about her in a compelling way. I'd hoped people would be on roughly the same page about her at the end of the journal and come out of it with more forward-looking questions rather than trying to discern the secrets of her backstory. I wanted people to know who Caleb was--there was already the running mystery of who "Val" was, after all, so I chose not to confuse the plot further.
Again, though, some of these are really cool ideas--a letter from Garen or Jarvan might've been an interesting addition to the piece as well. Hm!
Also, for the record, I'm perfectly willing to partake in a constructive conversation here provided it remains constructive.
I understand that you feel that there are certain people who pay little attention to bios, but I also feel that those people would not be looking for this kind of information on the new champion as it it doesn't actually "preview" the champion; it provides relatively few actual hints as to her abilities. Those people would already be uninterested in the lore of the character and presenting more obvious data about the champion's personality would be relatively meaningless to them. These are the people who, if they wanted lore, would read the character's official bio and base their understanding of that character solely on that.
On the other hand, you have people who are actually looking for well made lore, who are actually looking for characters who act, perhaps not realistically, but in a manner that doesn't seem forced or solely expository. These are the people that you should be writing for, people who actually care how the lore turns out, who want more than just the bare-bones bio that is listed on the character.
What I'm saying: There are 3 groups of people:
People who read the bio, but don't care about lore, who won't care about this and will get the same information from the bio. They are looking for the basic motivation of the character secondary to her actual effect on the game.
People who read the bio and care about lore, who will be disappointed that the character is being written in an obvious, expository way and will be disappointed that that part of the journal conveys redundant information.
And people who don't read the bio: I will make a sweeping generalization about this group and say that they don't care much for the lore and that they probably won't have read your journal pages if they have no intention of ever reading the bio.
So why write for them?