Evelynn & Twitch: Well at least you haven't achieved our level of greatness. Long-Term stealth slaughtered the economy of enemy teams, purchasing TWO extra ward or TWO oracles.

Teemo: Don't worry, we'll be there right after Annie's fix.

Teemo : Hey hey hey! I'm Teemo!
Badger Teemo : And I'm ANGRY! Angry that the next guy is a TEEMO IMPERSONATOR! This gag isn't funny anymore, you AREN"T TEEMO I AM CONFUSED NAOW!
Shaco : Since when was I pretending to be...
Teemo : How dare you make jokes about the MOST OP CHAMPION IN THE UNIVERSE being Under Powered!
Badger Teemo : Much less do so in a manner that includes a great deal of factual information about how ridiculously underpowered that champion REALLY is and then back it up with a detailed history of the ludicrously punitive series of often accidental and undocument nerfs piled on nerfs that the MOST OP CHAMPION EVER somehow REMAINS "absolutely fine if not OP" throughout EVERY PHASE of nerfing!
Shaco : When did I even...
Teemo : I shall now, without ANY facts, reasoning or argument at all, let alone jokes, make claims contrary to your detailed multi page NOT FUNNY fact festival about Teemo and point out that Move Fast IS fast, Teemo CAN "kite" (mostly with his face at a range that he can feel the hot fetid breath of every dashing stunning kill tank ever) and his Blinding Dart with it's rapidly and constantly shrinking duration and growing inability to effect almost ANY source of damage TOTALLY still shuts down DPSers because I AM STILL living in an imaginary past that was probably not even real 90 odd patches ago!
Badger Teemo: Yeah IN YOUR FACE CLOWN TEEMO!
Shaco :...
Shaco : You know I still half suspect that thread of yours from that time was instrumental in my nerfing.
Jarvan : Nerfing? You just got obsoleted son. Obsooooleete...
All Modern Tanky DPSers : HIGH FIVES!

Evelynn & Twitch : !!KAPOW!! We have appeared! We are here to kill you!
Teemo : No! But why?
Twitch : Mostly because we can. I mean, it's not like there is anyone else for us to kill these days...
Badger Teemo : All jokes aside I thought Teemo kinda was supposed to be a direct counter to you guys. Also you guys are kinda... well... are you sure you can kill Teemo?
Evelynn : Almost certain.
Twitch : Almost.
Teemo : But HOW? I Blinding Dart you both!
Twitch : MY EYES! Am I still damaging him?
Badger Teemo : Yeah. He is still dying at basically the same rate. Blinding dart has basically reached the point where it's mostly an additional auto attack with some physcological warfare propaganda attached.
Eve : AAAAAGH MY EYES! Am I still damaging him?
Badger Teemo : Again, really, yes. Also you mostly use abilities so definitely positively yes.
Teemo : Thank god I have Move Quick!
Badger Teemo : It's on it's nine million year cooldown. Remember that show down with Soraka three minutes ago?
Teemo : Oh boy, she can really dish out the damage hey!
Badger Teemo : Not so much.
Teemo : But even without the active my well known move speed superiority will save us now!
Twitch : Well, actually I have this huge radius spammable slow, it's like the one good thing Riot lets me keep...
Bunny Teemo : Wait? Riot lets you keep 1 good thing? God dam it.
Eve : And to be fair I actually routinely run down fleeing Teemos, even ones with full health pretty much all the time. I mean OK my nerf made that harder, but I still have the speed and the ability to deal damage without stopping my movement, so... yeah, sucks to be you Teemo...
Teemo : But how did this even happen? My precious and universe destroying map awareness! It's what I do. I LIVE to shut down you sneaky gankers, HOW did you get past those shrooms, there were no less than FOUR FOUR shrooms on...
Badger Teemo : Well. It was more like 1, remember the giant cooldown nerf...
Twitch : What, you mean that thing? We both walked on that one, boy was there egg on our faces.
Eve : Egg but not much else. Shrooms don't even reveal stealthers.
Twitch : And while some damage makes stealth delay, NONE of yours does.
Eve : And seriously talking about that damage, and about shrooms, we both took full damage from that shroom, and frankly with that much.... This gank is definitely still ON.
Teemo : NOOOO!!!!!
Soraka: What is it little buddy?
Eve & Twitch : RUN IT'S A REAL CHAMPION!

And then Karthus got pissed, used Requiem and insta-gibbed both Teemos.

moar

Good stuff. I like these, mixing referenced facts with good ole satire. Gooch demands moar!!!

Teemo : BREAKING NEWS! I am Teemo!
Badger Teemo : SURPRISE DEVELOPMENT! And I am Teemo!
Veigar : And I'm Teemo in a Halloween costume.
Teemo : In a shock development Riot has gone against all sanity and provided Teemo the eternally OP and imballanced with a MASSIVE UNDESERVED BUFF!
Badger Teemo : I... I think I just swallowed a little vommit, this is truly sickening!
Teemo : Sickening, terrifying and above all utterly disappointing! Yes. Riot, pandering the armies, yes armies of constantly complaining Teemo fan boys riding the OP Teemo skirt tails to high ELO without even having to play as Teemo have added yet another massive OP power!
Veagar : Can he shoot lightning out his ass while he runs away now? Because you seem to be talking like he can shoot lightning out...
Teemo : NO! Even worse! Move Quick now procs some limited number of ability effects. They are calling it a bug fix, but CLEARLY such a long lived "bug" was initially an intended feature of a fracitonally less OP Teemo.
Badger : ... Good lord! A Teemo ability that procs some form of effect? An on ability use effect proc no less? The dominant on hit proc effect Teemo builds are now going to dominate the earth with even MORE in built anti-synergy! Not to mention what all those Teemo Sheen users are going to...
Veigar : Teemo sheen users? What Teemo sheen users? Hell what TEEMO users? Where the hell are they? They've all gone off in a sulk, no sucker plays Teemo anymore, they don't even TALK about Teemo in competitive circles anymore. Do you think that the ability to proc SHEEN with move quick is going to do anything? I mean ANYTHING? Hell have you even looked at the cooldown on move quick? I don't give a **** if it proc's tear of the goddess, I don't even care if it does that AND we pretend there is any kind of good Teemo build that LIKES procing tear of the goddess, because the cooldown on move quick is still NINE MILLION YEARS LONG.
Teemo : Wizard Teemo you seem to be mistak...
Vegair : ... give me another swig of that whiskey... AND ANOTHER THING... you know who gives a (half) a **** about procing sheen with his move booster. I tell yah who RAMMUS that's who. And HIS move quick is quicker, damages, stuns, and is on HALF YOUR STUPID COOLDOWN. Not to mention EVERYTHING else Rammus does craps all over your verminous little mo...
Badger Teemo : Aaaand I'm afraid that's all we have time for tonight before we get censored from Wizard Teemo swearing so much.
Veiger : How the hell do I even spell my own name here... screw you Teemo!
Teemo : Wizard Teemo is just experiencing misplaced rage at this foolishly massive Teemo buff!
Vegaar: Like hell I am, I'm mad at how stupidly god **** crapping useless it is you stupid **** blasted ****...
....beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....

Karthus : Good Evening, I am Teemo in a dress.
Corki: And I am Teemo in a ******ing plane.
Tristana : And I am Smurfette.
Karthus : Today on Teemo Tonight the new Teemo Buff in the latest patch!
Corki : I believe they made it so mushrooms now level up with Teemo.
Tristana: Existing mushrooms already deployed? They now level up when Teemo levels up his mushroom ability?
Corki : Yup, that's right Smurfette Teemo!
Karthus : What god dam mushrooms? Seriously. Considering their limited life span in practice before detonation, considering Teemo only will level up his mushroom ability and potentially have used it before hand TWICE ever per game, considering all that this will effect PER GAME maybe what? Two, perhaps four mushrooms? The bonus damage is utterly negligable.
Tristana : Screw that Gothic Teemo you nut bag! I don't care if it's 2 mushrooms a game or 4 or ALL OF THEM RETROACTIVELY EVEN AFTER THEY DETONATE! Why? Because mushroom damage is laughable ANYWAY, who cares, Just give Teemo max mushroom damage with the first rank. With nerfed mushroom damage and nerfed output rate of mushrooms remaining as they are he STILL won't get a FRACTION of the mushroom kills he used to. And even when he used to do that he was hideously under powered.
Tristana : Any of you nutbags disagree?
Corki : Not really, this is indeed a stupidly tiny buff.
Karthus : Yeah, it's like they think Teemo is balanced and if they just mention him in a positive light no matter how tiny people will suddenly wake up and realise he is perfect, you know instead of avoiding him like the plague bearing leper he has become.
Tristana : You know this is much easier without a real Teemo around.
Corki : Where IS Teemo?
Karthus : I don't know, no one has seen him in AGES.
Badger Teemo : Like you can talk Karthus!
...
Tristana : Wow, even typing a come back in chat destealths him.
Corki : Must suck to be you little buddy!
Badger Teemo : You better watch out... I'm leveling up 1 mushroom by like 50 effective damage... out there, somewhere, in that one position no one stepped on already and probably won't, but you JUST MIGHT so watch out! It's more powa-full than eva!
Karthus : Should we start buying oracles to negate him like we used to?
Tristana : Oh hell no, you really HAVEN'T been in a game lately have you Karthus.
Karthus : Sorry... I'm horribly obsolete...

This is GREAT!!!

I agree, teemo's ult needs a rework. The damge falls off after mid game, and it's almost impossible to place mushrooms during a team fight without being killed. Right now teemo is dependent on a weak ultimate that is very hit or miss.