I'll give you a serious response.
1. Offensive Language: Of course you can take a philisophical viewpoint here and ask "What is offensive?". The Tribunal is community based, and if the majority of the community decides something is offensive, then we clearly don't want that language in our community. That's all there is to it. If some disagree, or the victim wasn't generally offended, so be it: the majority has spoken.
2. Leaving the Game: Games are never "OVER". Plus Tribunal doesn't let you see stats like that, so I don't know how you'd deduce that. Leaving or AFKing the game at any point, in my opinion, is unnacceptable. I've lost many games because my teammates decided it was "Over", and yet managed to almost win the game 4v5 regardless.
3. Verbal Abuse: The first two quotes aren't relevant to this sub-heading, and the last two are definitions used more specifically in terms of a family or friend setting. I would see Point #1, I would argue the same thing.
4. Assisting enemy team: Not sure what you're saying here, but intentional feeding has a separate category.
5. I've never seen a report in this regard, and unless they are intentionally spamming "bbbbb" to the point where it is distracting, I doubt anyone would actually press "Punish".