Oh, my, still work in progress. Got to rethink some skills, balance things up a bit, but the general concept is pretty much finnished.

Fencing is one of the most badass themes for a champion, and as much as I like our graceful, bladewaltz-dancing Fiora Laurent, she isn't enough to me. And so, here I'm, creating champions from random inspiration attained by old theatrical characters.


[CENTER]Attachment 419524[/CENTER]




Appearance

Ever saw "The man in the iron mask"? Think of D'Artagnan, with that lovely swordman moustache of his. Then, place it on this man's face:

Attachment 418003Attachment 419237Attachment 419238

I'm not a very skilled drawer, and because of that, I used good ol' Sir Yaha from Drakengard 2.

By the way, Duriel's dagger --The stiletto-- looks something like this:

Attachment 418004
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Lore

"The jackal always gives swift and merciful death to his enemies; The blade may be stained in blood, but manners remain untouched" Twisted fate.

In the city of Noxus, only those who are strong have real power: Vicious guild masters, high-ranking officers of the military, cruel noblemen, and so on. Assassins and warriors alike struggle to gain the favor of those despictable beings, for it's the only way to reach the top, to avoid being crushed. But there was a large group of mid-class families that disliked the senseless, brutish conflict that divided the city-state into separate factions that sought power. They were the "men of honour", those who wanted an united state of amorality, peace and order that would provide more progress and profit than one of brainless warmongers and bloodthirsty beasts. They weren't fanatics of any "evil" or "good"; They only idealized just laws and respect among gentlemen.

Duriel Sciacallo was the youngest son to one of such families. Since youth he showed little regard for morality, and would do anything if that was beneficial for his family's standings in the realm. He trained himself in the art of fencing during this years, and adopted the stiletto, instead of the standard rapier, as weapon. As he grew into a man, Duriel quickly became an important figure in the streets of Noxus, taking care of competitors, threats and reckonings in the name of his family, but always following strict rules of conduct, that forbid him from killing the innocent, shedding blood without need, turning his back on his family or to cause great disruptions of order. But with the arriving of the League, the battles started to cease and a relative peace reigned. Left without no greater purpose on the streets, Sciacallo went to join the Institute of war, to defend the political interests of his family and the other Noxian midle-class men of honour.
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Base stats

Health 450 (+91)
Health regen. 7.5 (+0.85)
Mana 220 (+40)
Mana regen. 7.25 (+0.5)
Armor 10 (+3.5)
Magic res. 30 (+1.3)
Attack damage 58 (+3)
Attack speed 0.685 (+3%)
Range 125
Mov. speed 330
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Simple introduction

The main idea is that of a melee AD (Duh) who is able to quickly enter and leave combat. He's not a right-click-monster champion, no, his skills are based on timing, and need to be used in the right order --And moment-- to be effective. This doesn't mean that there's only one posible combo, no; But using the skills in a certain order will most surely give you an advantage over your foes.

As for role, "Assassin" is the only word that brings to mind. In a previous time I said "Carry", but duh, roles and their definitions are pretty unknown to me. I just build AD and beat the **** out of my enemy.
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Skills

(Innate) Gentleman
Duriel's reflexes allow him to evade almost every attack when he's focused. Every time you use a skill, you become untargetable for 0.55/0.65/0.75 seconds.


(Q) Coup de grâce
Duriel does not enjoy nor aprove to let someone else suffer a slow, painful death. But his concept of misericordia is not that of life-sparing, but that of killing his enemy swiftly to save them from suffering.

Duriel quickly launches a thrust with his stiletto at his enemy, dealing extra damage in his next autoattack. This skill applies on-hit effects and can proc critical strikes, and also resets Duriel's autoattack cooldown.

The bonus damage augments if the enemy is low on health.

Cost: 20/25/30/35/40 mana
Cooldown: 8/7/6/5/4 seconds
Physical damage: 40/60/80/100/120 (+1.0 per attack damage)
Bonus damage: 40/60/80/100/120 physical damage if the enemy's health is lower than 30%

Note: This skill allows you to almost instantly land two hits (Normal autoattack, then Q), if timed well.



(W) Stoic
The jackal's duty is to act for the good and honour of his family, not to let emotion get in his way, and he is trained to be strong when faced with death.

Passive: On being hit, returns 4/5.5/7/8.5/10% of damage received, before any reductions such as armor, as physical damage. At least 15 damage must be received. Can only reflect damage to the same target once every two seconds. Duriel can only reflect damage to enemies in melee-range to him.

Active: Deals 80/105/130/155/170 (+0.8 per bonus attack damage) physical damage in melee-range around Duriel, plus 10/15/20/25/30 bonus physical damage for every 5% of the enemy's missing health.

Cost: 70/75/80/85/90 mana
Cooldown: 18/16/14/12/10 seconds



(E) Bane of cowardice
Duriel dashes forward, and stops uppon colliding with an enemy champion (Ignores minions), causing damage and slowing their movement speed by 50%. The enemy receives extra damage if he's running away from Duriel. This skill refreshes Coup de grâce's cooldown.

Slow duration: 1/1.5/2/2.5/3
Physical damage: 60/90/130/170/210 (+0.4 per bonus attack damage) + 10% if the enemy is running from you.
Cooldown: 19/17/15/13/11 seconds
Cost: 70/80/90/100/110 mana



(R) Noxian order
Duriel silences all enemies around him for 2 seconds and gains a free use (Refreshes cooldown) on the last skill he activated (before Noxian order). Enemies who are casting a skill are also interrupted.

Radius of AoE: 450
Cooldown: 50 seconds.
Cost: 150 mana.
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Quotes

Uppon selection
+Summoner, you have an exquisite taste for champions.

On movement
+Interesting plan.
+Capiche.
+Order, law, and honour.
+Will do.

On attack
+En garde.
+Worry not; You'll feel no pain.
+A debt of blood, one you must repay.
+Capiche.
+*Sigh* Così è la vita...

On ultimate use
+I will NOT tolerate this havoc.

On death
+I regret... Nothing.

Joke
+Pick pockets? My dear, it is much easier to just kill you and get paid for it.
+Oh, but you do know how to win a duel, right?
+Well, if you do not know, the key word is "penetration".

Taunt
+It is an act of mercy to kill a fool.
+You over-use the word "noob". I do not think that word means what you think it means, *coughs* idiot *coughs*.

Jackals.

More jackals.

By the way, updated a lot of things. *Prays for feedback or comments or views or something*

Jackals.

Still waiting for feedback...

Super jackals.

Hi!

You requested some feedback, so here I am.

I like your lore. It's well written and about the right length. Though the idea of this group in Noxus is very similar to the Gray Order in Annie's back story. I wonder if they're connected.


Now, as for abilities..

(Innate) Gentleman: I get what you're trying to do here. I'm concerned that the game doesn't have the granularity to process events in that small a time frame. I think the shortest anything lasts is half a second. It might be ok if you had it at 0.5 seconds to start and the added an internal cooldown or some other restriction on how often it could occur.

(Q) Coup de grâce: I'm a bit tickled to see someone use misericordia in a sentence. Tip of the hat. Pretty similar effect to Parrrley, except bonus damage to low health instead of gold gain. Seems a bit more like an assassin thing, but sure damage for the carry.

(W) Stoic: Well, I like the built in thornmail, though it doesn't have synergy with Gentleman. I don't like that it only advances +0.5 from rank 4 to 5. Riot is very consistent in the rank ups and I agree with them that you don't want any one rank being so dramatically better than another for the most part. You could start at 4% if you want to finish at 10 going up 1.5 per step.

The active seems fine, though another straight damage ability that increases based on missing health is surprising. How big is the aoe? Melee range?

(E) Bane of cowardice: Sure. Like Leona's Zenith Blade but you throw yourself. The slow is certainly nice. How long does it last?

(R) Noxian order: Seems similar to LeBlanc's Mimic. That's fine. Silence is fine. How big an area around him is silenced? Melee range?


This champion really says assassin to me, not carry. He doesn't have any auto-attack enhancing ability. The abilities he does have are geared toward bursting down low health enemies, not sustained dps. Doesn't have any real robust sustain mechanic to regenerate health or mana. Gentleman does give some escape/immunity, so that's solid for a carry but the rest of the kit doesn't support it.

That aside, the idea is fun and elegant. Duriel seems like an excellent assassin. Not too steep a learning curve, but timing coupe de grace for max auto-attack damage and comboing that with Bane of Cowardice does provide reward for skilled play. Nice job.

Anyway, I hope that helps. If you're aiming to make the champion a carry, I have a quote from DeRickulous I've taken to heart from a comment on one of my attempts at a melee carry:

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeRickulous Significant problems arise from her kit trying to fit the role of a melee carry. A melee character of any kind requires concessions that a ranged champion does not, simply due to the requirement that they must be in melee range. Current melee carries (Tryndamere, Gangplank, and Yi) have several things that Cora simply does not: -Immunity and Escape. Raise Morale/Remove Scurvy, Undying Rage/Spinning Slash, and Highlander all help make sure that these champions don't just get locked down without any opportunity to do damage, and give them an opportunity to get away after doing some damage. -Sustain and Farm. Parrrley/Remove Scurvy, Bloodlust, and Alpha Strike/Meditate keep them from having their farm shut down by a bully bruiser or ranged poke champion. -Chase. These champions have kits that are practically designed from the ground up to help them stick to a target that's trying to kite them. Abilities that can help catch a runner number two for Yi and Tryndamere and FIVE for Gangplank.

Oh, thank you so much, I really needed some critique. Hard to improve things without it.

About the role thing: you're right. He's more an assassin than a carry, looks like I got confused there. To me every champion is a different world, and "roles" are just a dumb way to engroup the whole thing. No suprise I never cared to read the definitions :B

As for abilities:

Innate - I didn't knew that. I'll be adjusting the numbers later.

W - The idea was to start at 4% and end in 10%, don't know what happened. Maybe I tiped too fast and it came out wrong. And the radius of the AoE for the active is melee range, yes.

E - I was thinking of making the slow last 1.5/2/2.5/3/3.5. It isn't too much, but with Duriel's damage output... I think it should work.

R - Oh, I always forget to add some important value. The AoE radius should be around 300-450, not quite sure yet. The main idea is allowing you to enter a team fight and pick a few kills for yourself while also helping your team. It needs a good AoE, so that you have a chance at getting most (Or all) of the enemy team and heavily disrupt the whole thing with the silence.

Well, thank you very much for the feedback. I'll check out your concepts whenever I have time (Likely this night or tomorrow).

Ultra jackals.

Maybe if I used the words "ASSASSIN", "VOID" and "SHOJIN" people would look at this.

Mega jackals.