I'm not pro and don't even play ranked games, but:
IMO don't buy oracles unless your team is currently winning. Seriously this gold is a lot and can really add up. Buying invis wards is usually better.
"What do you do when you are keeping dragon timers and clearing wards on it, always have vision on it- but when it comes time for dragon your team ignores it and lets the enemy have a free dragon?"
Support just supports team even if they are stupid ^_^
"If you are sucking badly and dying a lot,"
IMO: If you die once for no reason in a game then your team just got let down, big time. If (as you mentioned) the support throws themself at the enemy to save an ally, die from a bait of enemies whatever it's okay as you more than likely know.
I never put myself in a position where I could possibly die for no reason.
I'm too noob to know about counters.
Also, I have watched many many pro games and many times there are 1 or 2 wards, but usually ABSOLUTELY NO WARDS AT ALL. The first time I was watching a tournament and saw this I was shocked.
If you play the game right and have all the gold rune/masteries/items, starting at 35 minutes you should be able to maintain no less than 4 wards at all times, I have no problems with this with any support aside from Lulu.
Good luck ^_^
EDIT:
One huge thing I do when playing is to learn the style of my enemies. The four things I look for are
- Warding style (sometimes the warding enemy has a special place they ward every once in a while)
- Fight initiations (certain things that a certain player will do - even when a gank is coming in from brush which gives away the gank)
- Fighting styles (certain players will retreat for certain reasons out of a fight and it can be a waste to focus)
- reaction to buff/dragon respawns (some people are there as the buff respawns, some wait or aren't paying attention. I signal my allies to trap for late coming buff grabbers)
By communicating all these things to my allies it gives us a huge advantage, especially since I kind of just exist early game anyway.