I just cant seem to get the hang of her.
I feel like:

I always get dominated in lane, or at least I cant kill them either, turning into a stalemate.

I cant stick onto targets in teamfights

Not enough damage

I've tried numerous builds, but i just CANNOT seem to get good at her.

Irelia and Ezreal make me wanna pull my hair out.

Please Help.

do you use w every time you harass? do you save your e's for a stun instead of instantly to just slow them? do you bait people with your ult? do you build correctly? do you bladesurge the right targets? do you initiate (you shouldnt be)?

Harass your opponent with Blade Surge and Equilibrium Strike.
Use Blade Surge on a nearly dead minion to close the gap between you and your opponent, then leap to them and use Equilibrium Strike. You'll either get the slow or stun off which allows you to back off without taking much damage. Essentially rinse and repeat this process until you can secure a kill.

As for a build, I go...
-Regrowth and health pot
-Philo Stone and Heart of Gold
-Boots
-Sheen
-Merc Treads
-Trinity Force
-Force of Nature
-Randuin's Omen
-Shurelya's Reverie
-Bloodthrister

This build usually works pretty well for me. It makes you semi-tanky, while not sacrificing too much damage. Also, the additional speed from Trinity Force and Force of Nature makes it rather difficult for your opponents to outrun you.

Hope that helps.

I'm really not that hard to play... Once you get wriggles/visage you can lane forever. Tf or wits+mallet go well together after. If you really can't stick to targets well, idk what you're doing then..
Forgot to add you need to max W first and once you get a bit of atkspd, you should deal a pretty adequate amount of damage when hiten style is active.

EDIT: the Skill build I use usually maxes W first, first taking equilibrium strike then W, then Q, then maxing W. This is not optimal. just what I do. I think I could do a better skill build to be honest.

Unless your enemies make really stupid mistakes, there aren't many matchups where Irelia can dominate and score kills early on without ganks.
just farm up. Buy a philo stone and/or heart of gold if you're getting zoned.
Here is the build I use. It works EXTREMELY well for me.

I also start regen+pot and build a quick philo stone and heart of gold
you have 2 CORE ITEMS.
Merc treads/ninja tabi (almost always merc treads. Only ninja if enemy team is AD heavy or if you're laning against an AD champ who's destroying you).

TRINITY FORCE (Trinity force is the best damage item in the game for irelia. honestly she doesn't need any damage items other than this)
*only get Trinity force early if you're doing super well. otherwise you're better off just getting a phage and getting some innate tankyness or witts end(an awesome combo of damage and MR) first.

After core items are done, you build pure tanky based on enemy threat. IF you need the extra damage and want more MR, witts end is the way to go (that item is perfect on Irelia. Everything you need on her).

Randuins is an item I build almost every game on Irelia. It's just so good.
Witts End is a AMAZING item on irelia. she scales very hard with AS because of her W, and she loves to be tanky. This item is perfect for her if you need more DPS.
Frozen Heart is a great item on Irelia as well.
FoN is your item of choice if you're getting crushed by APs.
Warmogs: If you need health to go with your resistances...this is the item to go for. EDIT: I don't reccomend it though. I'd suggest building Randuins for a bit of extra health instead. I think this item is too expensive while giving Irelia too little. Sometimes though you just gotta have ****loads of health to go with your insane resistances. that's when you get Warmogs.

Frozen Mallet is a choice, though personally, I hate this item on Irelia.
DO NOT DO FRATMOGS. seriously. Irelia is not someone who does fratmogs well.

I play Irelia as a Anti-carry/late game stomper.

better nerf... eh never mind.

Don't bother trying to learn Irelia right now. They halved her lane sustain without giving her any sort of compensation, then a patch later added 1-2 to a couple stats. Not nearly enough.

She will get absolutely destroyed by any of the normal top laners and a lot of the non-traditional tops too. Corki, Graves, Cait, Vayne, Trist.

The way things are now you need to massively outskill your opponent to make Irelia work, you're always better off going with someone else.

She is fine. Her sustain is horrible, but she can and DOES survive the top lane. She's not top tier anymore though. you have to be careful.

Although I agree with the nerfs being bulls#it, I have to disagree about her being completely outlaned top. The difference is now she has competition in the lane. Her early game presence isn't too strong anymore but she's still viable

100% agree.