Im starting to believe that your sole job at Riot is to ruin the "get to X before Riot post" games.
here then i issue you a new game, reply to any question given here, using only league terminology, including but not limited to: skins, items, skills, map, characters.

here is your first question: what do you REALLY do at Riot?

I assist in the advancement of the League of Legends!

For reference, I am QA for deploys, hotfixes and live bugs across all of Riot serviced regions across the globe. That being said, I am transitioning to Champion QA shortly.

(Your original request is a bit hard >.<')

Is there at least an ETA on the sweep? I haven't gotten any sleep last night and would like to know if it's worth staying up

I'm sorry guys, I have no information regarding this issue currently