First off, Early end works for me, but I'm nonvisual.
Let's get to the contest though.
Kassadin now wears an apron over his 9001 abs.
His blade is replaced by A tube of icing. On top of his head is a Chef's hat with his horns tearing into the sides.
Q- The icing Comes flying out of the tube and hits the target in the face. Overcome by the deliciousness, they are silenced.
W- Well, I mean.... He hits them with a tube of icing.
E- Kassadin's icing tube gets larger with every spell cast. When he activates the ability, he throws it quickly at the ground, stomps on it, and sprays sticky, slowing icing all over the place.
R- Kassadin Dissapears in a spurt of frosting, reappearing in another one at target location.
It's been a while since I've Kassadin'd. I might have mixed up his W and E.