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Oh, so you don't have your own character? Maybe... I can help?

 
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Neyke ?? Senior Member
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12-07-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord of Apoc View Post
((Dude I need to hire you for custom champion lore. Nothing to be related with RP))
(( no problem, but I need it to be on shurelya's thing, otherwise It gets too hard to edit xD))

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Tkman ?? Member
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12-07-2012

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Originally Posted by Neyke View Post
((Two things, first: yay for the first request outside of OOC!! First, I'd like to know two things: how did he get the armor? That was sort of puzzling in the storyline, maybe you should just use his mutated body, because the fact that he's bulky from the poisons was already surprising enough... IF YOU REALLY WANT THE ARMOR, though, I think that his weaponry is a little godmode... I mean, I can't think of a way to defeat him, because his armor is quite badass, he's immune to poisons, and he's already a relatively dangerous character by himself... In any case, the design of the character is good, but has the "godmode" flaw IMO... Maybe you could nerf his innate strength? Because you can't be resilient naturally and artificially without being sort of OP xD

In a sum-up, he's got way too much of everthing: tankyness / damage / mobility / utility - I'm sorry... But unless you tell me his actual weakness, he's godmode.))

"Eh... What improvements do you seek for, kind, gentleman?"
((Thank for the input; I can definitely agree with some aspects of the critique. First time trying an OC myself, so I wasn't quite sure what extents of power were needed. I've actually had some ideas for what would be going on beneath the armor, just this extensively mutated horror. I've always sort of envision that he's almost grafted to the inside of his armor, like a walking prison that's only furthering his constant agony. Might go with that, would rather like to keep the whole theme of poisons and toxins going. Perhaps something like being able to naturally produce some manners of the abilities listed?))

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Ask the Tempest ?? Senior Member
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12-07-2012

(((Hey could re-write my OC's lore? I know how I want him, but I cant write for ****. You are a God send.))
(( http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2014 ))

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Lord of Apoc ?? Senior Member
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12-07-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Neyke View Post
(( no problem, but I need it to be on shurelya's thing, otherwise It gets too hard to edit xD))
((I can make it work I will give you details for the current champion concept in a a few minutes.))

Edit: ((I ran into some issues so I will post phone till tomorrow))

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Neyke ?? Senior Member
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12-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ask the Tempest View Post
(((Hey could re-write my OC's lore? I know how I want him, but I cant write for ****. You are a God send.))
(( http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2014 ))
((From what I've seen, you're going way too superficial, but overall, I like it! I'll be giving the reworks in a moment.

@Tkman Okay, now I understood, I thought that the mutations were like... reinforcements in general, because you did mention the poison-immunity afterwards, and then went on. So yeah. Anyhow, I've got some work xD))

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Ask the Tempest ?? Senior Member
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12-08-2012

((Thanks bro!))

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Yoshi the Great ?? Senior Member
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12-08-2012

((Here is three of of my OC's.

These two below are already developed and if I'm asking, can you check to see if they're OK.

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2082
http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2261


And this is the one I really need help with to create a bio:

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2470

Many thanks if you help!))

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Ask the Tempest ?? Senior Member
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12-09-2012

((Bumpin this.))

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Neyke ?? Senior Member
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12-10-2012

((Bump, Imma have to take a look on everything, then. Maybe 40 ~ 50 minutes from now I'll be done))

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Neyke ?? Senior Member
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12-10-2012

((http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/2476

Ask the Tempest, I had to make a few observations myself to the story, I hope you liked it

Also, if you consider it a good idea, maybe you should rename his spray and pray to something else, in order not to conflict it with twitch's ultimate.

Yoshi, I've had a good time reading the first two, buy I have a question on Yi - what was his ability meant to be? Does he controls the seas? I couldn't quite get that right... So far, that's the only thing I could criticize, I'm moving to reading your actual request right now.

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