Hey guys, it's me again, but with a Champion concept instead of a skin idea. It's my first one! Feel free to leave comments, concerns, or critiques! Don't worry, I'll add some sketches later.


Arius, the Forsaken

Overview: Arius’s abilities with Crowd Control are played for either his defense or the defense of others. He is not meant to stay in a duel, but rather sabotage and assist. Main damage may not be as high, but he can stay or flee as he pleases. His damage output is minimal, and his base speed is actually a tad slow. Some tanks may out-defense him, but Arius can still make a dent in a team fight.
Role: Jungler, Support, Melee, Tank
Resource: Health
Description of Appearance: Arius is an angel in chains. His long wings are weighed down by chins connected to his chain mail, which he lugs around. His legs are also clamped down, but the cuffs are broken that he may walk. Some of his old robes clothe him. His cuff links are torn apart, and he holds shards of the old cell he was tied to and uses them as weapons. Arius has long hair and a beard to symbolize his age in chains.

Stats:
-BASE HP: 460 (+92 per level)
-----Regeneration: 7.5 (+0.8 per level)
-Damage: 47.5 (+3 per level)
-Attack Speed: 0.612 (+2.21% per level)
-Armor: 17.5 (+3.4 per level)
-Magic Resistance: 30 (+1.25 per level)
-Movement Speed: 325
-Range: 125

Abilities
- [Passive] Seal of Vengeance: Arius’s killer becomes heavily slowed by chains, and non-tower damage inflicted on him is doubled for the next three seconds. (Damage over time such as Ignite or Poison do not count). There is a three minute cooldown.
Use: Whoever kills Arius will become a primary target. Tanks aren’t meant to be taken down so quickly, and this will be a necessary punishment.

- [Q] Sprint of Shadows: Arius selects a unit to teleport upon, then has two seconds to choose another unit, and then another two seconds to select another enemy to jump on. By the third jump, Arius returns to his original place and stuns the units (if they are enemies) for 2 seconds. If he fails to select the next unit within two seconds or does another movement or ability, the ability chain is cancelled.
Cost: 10/20/30/40/50 per jump Cooldown: 25/21/17/15/13 Range: 440 Damage: 30/50/70/100/120 AP per jump
Use: It can be used for fleeing after two lunges, a juke with three, or he may as well sabotage the enemy units for someone else to make a faster kill. Farming may be an idea. He can also chase. However, at an uppercut on an enemy, his run may be interrupted.

- [W] Chains of Justice: Arius first selects two enemies within his circumference range, and then between the two selected enemies or monsters and pulls them together to where he is, causing stun for one second, and then a slow afterwards for 2.5 seconds.
Cost: 30/50/60/70/80 Cooldown: 25/20/17/15/12 Circumference Range: 900 Damage: 45/65/85/105/125 AP
Use: Arius’s vengeance attack. He may choose to stop an enemy from chasing his ally. He can bring fleeing enemies back to his tower or his position. However, afterward, he may be outnumbered, so a Sprint would do nicely.

- [E] Blessing of Rejuvenation: Arius creates a pact to create an aura of rejuvenation with his own blood for 15 seconds.
Cost: 20/30/40/50/55 HP Cooldown: 40/37/35/33/30 Regen: +15/17/21/26/35 per sec Circumference Range: 475
Use: Support. It'll help him and aid others in their fights.

- [R] Wings of Redemption: Arius flies over his foes at normal movement speed, taunting them as he goes. Damage he takes will be immediately reimbursed as he takes it. At descent, he blinds the foes he just flew over.
Cost: 100/100/100 Cooldown: 120/115/110 Range: 875
Use: Arius flies literally slowly right through the enemy team. Arius will be targeted, and he will take the punishment. Once he's down, either by death or still alive, his team would be able to take down the sabotaged foes.

Quotes:
UPON SELECTION: Neither justice of light or darkness will bind me!
TAUNT: “Want to check if there’s an afterlife?”
JOKE: - *flaps arms as fast as he can*
MOVEMENT: “Guide me!” “What makes them think they can hold me?” “Onward!” “This is no time to fool around!” “Ugh…” “Looks like I’m still running in a prison” “Stupid chains.” "I see a present darkness."
PLAYING AGAINST: “Woops!” “You’re not taking me this time!”
DEATH: *Chains cover Arius after he falls over, also covering his killer for the Passive.*
ABILITIES: [Q]: “Hmph!” “Ugh!” “Yeah!”
[W]: “Reaaaah!” “Come with me!” "Come together!"
[E]: “A time of rest…”
[R]: "It is me you want!"

LORE:
“It has been a mistake to jail him. It has been a greater mistake to free him.”
-Morgana
Arius, a royal guard under Kayle’s angelic force, was never meant for war. Blood was the last thing he needed in his sight. But once his brother Lament had fallen, Arius became a brutal being. He let no one escape his wrath, all for his beloved brother. He would go out to vanquish the evil that destroyed his blood. Times changed, and so did he. Kayle saw this man transform from a great defender and philosopher to a man of darkness and hatred. After killing another guard, what some think by accident, Kayle banished him to the Cells of Eve. However, Arius felt his justice had not been served, for his brother or himself. She knew this, but also knew Arius was a threat. Thus she placed a mark upon him- that any being who slays this man would be punished tenfold.
Centuries later, Morgana raided the prisons in search for soldiers for her dark army. With the assistance of newly found dark powers, she broke apart the place and took Kayle down with it. Of the choices she picked, Morgana’s regret was letting Arius out of his cell. The man, enraged now at Kayle, at the evils that destroyed his brother, enlightened by the psychotic philosophies he brewed in his chains, imprisoned by the same love he felt safe with for his family and for his jailer, tore away the chains, and disappeared, leaving ruins in his path. He breathed threats against light and darkness, but when he heard Kayle and Morgana had disappeared, he knew the League was behind this. He saw, however, an evil beyond Morgana in the League, a darkness justice had been corrupted to- a corruption Arius believed would plague not only Runeterra, but his own home if he would not remove his people from it.

Still no comments? I could use some help with the numbers.

1. How far can those chains, the sprint, and the healing ring go?

2. Do the abilities cause any damage?

3. How about for W... "You may kiss the bride"

:P



Seems fun, but the cooldowns are kind of long.

There is no reason for him to be an energy champion. Zero. None. Don't do it. If you don't have a reason for a champion to use an alternate resource, use mana. There's a reason it's the standard.

Seal of Vengeance is cool. Not sure it'd be a good thing for a tank to have, though, seeing as they aren't going to be focused anyways. Helps that your champion doesn't really feel like a tank anyways. More a jungler, and his death could help a teammate finish a gank if he dies.

Requiring three jumps to even function is a bad idea, and GIVING three jumps is also a bad idea, especially given he already has another flash on hand. Speaking of which,

Hitting with Chains of Justice effectively would be far more difficult than any ability should be, and without much benefit. Stunning two enemies is intriguing, but again, he has two jumps, one of which can be used three times. He's easily the most insanely mobile champion out there even with just those abilities.

I can't figure out how Blessing of Rejuvenation works, nor how it's a rejuvenating effect. Rejuvenation is healing. What this seems to be is a massive pile of spellvamp, lifesteal, and push with a slow on a champion who already has two stuns and another slow.

Same goes for Wings of Redemption. I really can't figure out how it works, and from what I have figured out, it's hard to use, has a giant pile of crowd control on a character already filled to the brim with crowd control, and adds even more mobility to an already highly mobile character.

All in all, he's an insane pile of great mobility, very powerful crowd control, all on an incredibly hard to use platform. You're trying too much. Give him some pulls, some slows, and some abilities that scale on his missing health if you want to make a tank focused on retribution. That could be a cool concept, and I feel like you're wasting it a bit by just making him a giant bouncy angel of slows.

Passive: o.O I would suicide. All the time.

Q: This is an interesting ability which opens up the arena for a number of different types of abilities. I assume the cost is per cast? Damage is really high for a 3 jump ability. Can you hit the same target multiple times? Champ needs to scale off something (Health, AP, AD, etc).

W: Has way too much cc, and double the cd. Range should be half current value.

E: This has a lot of parallels to Janna's Ult, Which is an Ult. Provide too much cc, too much utility, too much sustain. Remove the push, and slow. Half the spell vamp. Make it a short duration ability w/ a small-moderate AoE.

R: You really like cc don't you. Not everything needs to be a cc on a support. Hard to tell how this works except as a huge cc mechanism. I'd scrap it, it doesn't seem feasible.

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I'll change every single ability to drop CC a bit. I just noticed the problem. And to answer the questions...

@ [problem with Q]
Sprint of Shadows gives Arius three jumps on separate units. He has to hit the units. After three jumps on the units, he will return back to the position as if he never jumped to begin with, stunning his foes. He can end the ride with two and run off there.

@ [W]
Chains of Justice was meant to to be an on-select hit, not skill shots. Once a champion has been selected in his range, he may choose another enemy unit to bring them together, thus teleporting directly in between the two.

@ [E]
Changing it completely. It has been too weird to begin with.
Originally, he was supposed to knock away enemies, then given a few seconds to deploy an area of spell vamp (sorry for the lifesteal complication).

@ [R]
I noticed it gives him a bit too much of mobility. It's overpowered compared to TF's ult, combining with a near global ultimate along with CC. I'll try to find an alternate...


I'll edit him to be more rounded. I like the missing health idea, and I'll change him to fit those. Any more critique? Thanks for the feedback I've gotten so far!

Aight, here is my review of your champion, take what you wish of it.

Before I get onto the actual abilities, I feel the need to address the attack range on your character. The average melee range for champions is either 125 for a regular weapons/unarmed attacks, 150 for medium-ish length weapons (Pantheon being the prime example) and 175 for big reach weapons (jarvan, Xin Zhao, etc.) I would recommend adjusting it to one of those values for the sake of consistency.

Also, for future reference, basic abilities in LoL have 5 ranks, not 4 (I'm guessing you have a background in DotA or HoN, which utilize 4-rank basic abilities?), so all of the values that rank up on your basic abilities are missing a rank.

Innate:
- While the innate itself seems relatively balanced, I really don't like the idea of an innate that requires you to die. I'm iffy on innates like Karthus, Zyra and Kog'Maw, but there I can kinda see it as appropriate because it's a way to rack up last-second kills, which in turn helps them perform their role better in the long run without making the character becoming solely dependent on dying in order to be useful. But I don't really see that here, as it seems more like one of your champion's best contributions to a team requires him to die in order to use it, making him a little too reliant on dying in order to be played to maximum potential. Plus, I always found that good tank players can take a lot of hits while still rarely dying, meaning that a good tank player won't be able to utilize this effectively enough. I would personally change it into something that doesn't activate on death.

Q:
- I see this essentially as a form of Alpha Strike that stuns people instead of damaging them, am I correct (since you don't specify if it does damage)? I see a lot of faults with this ability, not with the ability itself (the idea seems fine), but with the numbers around it. Firstly, the current cooldowns seem really high (maybe drop it to 20/19/18/27/16s?). Second, you don't actually specify whether you have to perform multiple casts of this, or if it does 3 jumps to random enemies on a single cast. Finally, I find the health cost on this a little too high. the way it is currently worded implies 3 jumps = 150 health used up. While I don't see that big a problem late game, early on this spell probably harms you more than the enemies you are using it on, as you can effectively lose a third of your health casting this. I'd start it off with a lower health cost and have it scale up to 50. Also, how long is the stun duration?

W:
- I feel like the active is too powerful to require a passive element to it as well. But, on the other hand, you didn't actually write the duration of the active slow, the duration of the stun and the reduction value of the slow, so I'll let it slide for now. I do think the cooldown on this one in general is too low for the amount of utility it brings. I'd bump it up so that the rank 5 cooldown is higher than 10.

E:
- The heal seems fairly weak, especially for the ridiculous cooldown and the high health cost later on. I would increase that regen to something like 25/s at max rank, so that it at least does it's one job very effectively. Also, how far does this aura stretch out?

R:
- I honestly do not understand this one enough to try and provide good feedback to it, and therefore I won't touch it too much. Though, since I read a taunt and a blind is involved, It does sound like your character might much of a hard CC bot. I'd try to change it so that he doesn't have as much stuns. That's just personal opinion though.
Also, I'll gladly re-visit this ablity when you clarify it.

So, overall, I personally think that the concept seems kinda unfinished at times, and I feel that you are trying to put too much theme to it at the cost of fun, since he has no AP or AD scaling and provides nothing more than CC with a bit of healing (which can be kinda boring to play as). But then again, I seem to be one of the few people around here that thinks there is such a thing as too much theme to a champion.

Edited him once more. Thanks for the feedback. I tired to make his abilities more basic instead of adding the details of what theme says he's doing.

Reviewed your champion as you had requested. I'd be interested in helping you work on a champion idea (you mentioned something about it in my review thread). Feel free to add me in game if you're still looking for help, though I haven't been on much in recent weeks.


Lore:

The lore was pretty good but there were a few inconsistencies/facts mentioned that bothered me. You mention his brother’s death as a factor for his personality change in three sentences hat are all side by side: “But once his brother Lament…. Evil that destroyed his blood.” This seems a little repetitive; and you could get the point across with a single, perhaps slightly longer sentence.
Another issue that I had with it is that you had him as a royal guard, for two reasons. Firstly, neither Kayle nor Morgana’s lores make any mention of royalty existing on their world. Secondly, you state that although he is a royal guard, which you’d expect to be the best of the best, you say that he was never meant for war. I felt that this was out of place because those two factors do not seem compatible (in my opinion). You could give him a role as a different kind of important figure in their world, because the fact that he is guard doesn’t seem necessary considering that his entire personality shift towards revenge occurs because of his brother’s death.
Finally, I didn’t quite understand why Kayle placed the mark upon him. If anything, it made him an even greater threat than before because it meant that Kayle would be unable to deal with him without great risk if he ever escaped. Did she fear that the prison guards would kill him for his act? I think it would make more sense if the mark was Arius’ own creation,
I find you did a good job trying to make his Lore consistent with both Kayle’s and Morgana’s, and that making changes to the above points could really help improve your Lore’s feel.

Seal of Vengeance:
I found this ability to be far too strong in terms of its debuff. No other ability in the game grants nearly as much % damage increase, and the only abilities/items that increase all damage dealt (and not just the caster/user’s damage) grant 14% (Vlad Ult) and 20% (Deathfire Grasp). It would help to know what the slow amount is, but the damage increase should definitely be toned down.
The other issue that I could see arising from this ability is that Arius has little choice over who is affected by the debuff. You could easily find yourself debuffing a target that your team hadn’t set its sight on, especially when if all 5 enemies focus him down. Two possible changes could be to either allow Arius choose the target specifically after a short delay (Similar to Zyra’s projectile on-death) or further reduce the debuff but have it affect an AoE around where Arius was slain.

Sprint of Shadows:
An interesting ability, I feel that it risks giving Arius too much power because of its mobility and high duration stun. You give him the means of choosing three enemies of his choice and stunning them for a longer period of time than any other non-ult stun in the game. You also give the player the illusion of choice by giving each cast a cost of its own, yet making 3 casts clearly better in almost any situation. Making the stun trigger regardless of whether or not the ability is cast would help make this ability more consistent.
Your ability also differs from other multi-cast abilities (such as Ahri Ult, Riven Q, & Xerath Ult), in the sense that they only have an initial cost, instead of a cost per cast. Changing it would help retain consistency, and would also allow you to reduce the total cost, which is currently too low at level 1 and too high at level 5.
The return to original location seems a little odd considering that he is a tank and that he would benefit more from closing in on his enemies than he would from poking them. I don’t think that this aspect of the ability or the ability to jump to allies is necessary, because the emphasis should be on closing the distance with the enemy, so that he can wreak havoc & disrupt them.


Chains of Justice:
This is an interesting & unique ability, but one potential issue that I noticed almost immediately is that it is currently useless if Arius is only facing a single enemy. Some clarification as to what happens if only a single target is in range would be nice, as I don’t think making it fizzles/do nothing should be an option.

Blessing of Rejuvenation:
This ability suffers from a range of issues, and I would suggest either changing it completely, or replacing his health costs with mana costs, and reducing the duration & AoE component.
The ability’s current numbers make it the most potent heal in the game, albeit with the disadvantage of occurring over 15 seconds instead of being immediate. It currently heals for a total of 225/255/315/390/525 health, and completely negates its own HP cost after 2 seconds. This ability allows Arius and his ally to essentially negate enemy harass, and doesn’t actually have any cost or risk associated with it.
Another problem with this ability is that 15 seconds is too long a duration. Condensing the ability’s effect to 4-6 seconds would make it feel both more rewarding and make it more noticeable.
Finally, AoE heals run a very high risk of being too strong, especially if given similar numbers to Damaging AoE abilities. You would have to reduce the abilities effect on allies in order to help balance this ability.

Wings of Redemption:
Reviewing this ability was made a bit difficult by the lack of numbers for the taunt and blind. Two CC effects seem a bit much, even for an ultimate, and this ability has the potential (depending on the CC values) to completely shut down the enemy team for the entirety of the fight. I would remove the blind from this ability, perhaps for a flat damage return, or another effect, because the CC it brings is currently too high
The wording on the ability gives me the impression that the taunt ends once he reaches the max distance, and this seems counter-intuitive because it means that granting him bonus move speed through items/ally abilities would actually reduce its effectiveness.
Trying to balance the ability by making it me a movement order at normal speed instead of a dash seems a little odd, but it could be workable. I’m not sure what to think about this aspect.

Champion (Overall):
You came up with a pretty neat concept, but there were some significant balance concerns that I felt held it back.
Your Champion has an unhealthy amount of CC (two slows, two stuns, and taunt, and a blind), and little to no damage. The values you have listed (including the slow from his passive) currently allow him to disable an enemy for up to 8.5 seconds, and that doesn’t even include the CC from his ult. At the same time, his total damage output from abilities on a single target currently stands at 245 + ?? AP. A decrease to his CC values, or even an outright removal of the CC on certain abilities, and the increase to the damage his abilities deal would be necessary to balance his current kit.
A lesser concern is that the benefits from leveling his abilities do not scale linearly. Abilities in LoL always gain the same amount from leveling them regardless of whether it’s the second or fifth point you’ve invested into them, but you E, for example scales from gains 2 heal per second at level two, 4 heal per second at level three, 5 heal per second at level four, and 9 heal per second at level five.
You have a very cool concept, and the only things holding it back are the balance issues that I’ve mentioned above (particularly the overabundance of CC in his kit).

Final Score: 62/98



Don't hesitate to argue with me about an aspect of my review, be it a particular score you disagree on or an item that you think should/shouldn't be included. I'm still refining the process, and constructive feedback is always welcome. More information about the scoring rubric can be found here: http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2952952