X: "your such mormos"
X: "didnt follow me in"
X: "gg"
Y: "if we were mormon we would follow, joseph smith. but you're not him and we're scientologists"
X: "thats mormans"
Y: "xenu will punish you for calling us mormans"
Z: "i don't know what's funnier, the fact that cass thinks it's mormans, or the fact that you believed he was right and spelled it the same way."
Z: "did you both fail english or are you both homeschooled?"
X: "reported"

Sorry but I find the banter amusing... and not banworthy...

Riven with boots of feedability, 0/20/1 score in a 20minute match said this in the first minute:
(Riven) [00:00:34]: fail udyr hecarim
(Riven) [00:00:41]: no skin

Another case had this report
He threw the game for them, literally JUST pushed lanes and towers like Master Yi on crack, disregarded all team fight effects... Free ELO.
Assisting enemy team
Master yi on crack!

"do u really think riot gonna ban me??"

Maybe but I'm trying

From the reporting person:

"For playing this character first time, this kid seemed to be playing a whole new game entirely. He was off in lala land playing 'feed the other team' and thinking how nice it would be to be eating ice cream off some fat guy's nipples."

The reported player just sucks at the game. *pardons*

EDIT: Bonus - right after I post this I misclick "punish". *breaks down crying*

"
(Kog'Maw) [All] [00:20:14]: kk reported me
(Kog'Maw) [All] [00:20:17]: it wont come up
(Kog'Maw) [All] [00:20:19]: on tribunal
(Kog'Maw) [All] [00:20:22]: so lol to that
"
Another:
told me that im the reason why he agree with abortion
Verbal Abuse
told to one player that its because of people like him, that he believes in abortion. All this because he didnt like how that player was playing.
Offensive Language

(Shen) [All] [00:01:16]: why do i got to have the team with the yitard, tryntard, and xintard in it?

Sadly I think that's the common experience with having one of those on your team, but having all three?

My favorite thus far goes as follows:

"YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL"

Another one:

A reporting player spams this like 150 times in all-chat.

Veigar: "REPORT HIM (reported player) MORDEKAISER FOR FEED"

The feeder in question? Normal bad-day stats.

Reported: (Hecarim) [00:11:58]: dude wait
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:00]: you have TELEPORT!?
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:02]: LMFAO no
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:07]: im not ganking for you ever agian
Teammate: (Nasus) [00:12:24]: uve only done it once so im not dissapointed
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:26]: THE ONLY CAHAMPS
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:30]: that bring teleport
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:31]: are SUPPORTS
Reported: (Hecarim) [00:12:33]: or TANKS

Nasus was top lane, Hec was jungle.

My palm was firmly against my face.

Corki: Red baron skin
Nasus: Where were u on September 11th?