From the summit of Mount Targon, the petty squabbles of Valoran’s fiercest warriors are just that – petty squabbles. I am Iron Solari Leona and, at times, champions request my aid to adjudicate their disputes. Apparently many find my conflict resolution skills positively… stunning.
- Pool Party Ziggs strode into the Solari’s hallowed halls complaining of terribly noisy neighbors. I guess when I said that I’d help solve petty squabbles, I really meant it. 487 RP
- AstroNautilus followed quickly behind, muttering about “opening airlocks on those fools.” When I pressed the question, he told me that a new nightclub opened down the street and the patrons spilling out onto the sidewalk were less than polite. 487 RP
- With a loud commotion, Arcade Sona mashed her keyboard in disgust. Apparently she can’t practice with all the noise. 487 RP
- Having materialized from a purplish portal, Malzahar stated his case. His new establishment, Void Bar, attracts a violent and boisterous crowd, but he assured me that he’s followed local ordinances. 440 RP
- With a sudden guttural exclamation and a flurry of spikes, Kha’Zix leapt into the room screaming, “THEY ARE THE NOISY ONES WEABLAAEEBLALEBLAHBLEHLABLH WE ARE NOT AT FAAAAAAULT!” It all became entirely too bizarre. 487 RP
- As if the whole debacle couldn’t get more absurd, Kog’Maw excitedly hopped through the portal, spewed ooze all over my floors and coughed up Void phlegm on the tapestries. Then he left. Seriously? 440 RP
You know what? No more petty squabbles. Come back for the Solari’s aid when you have real troubles to worry about, not some noise violations. I’ll wait from April 19 to April 22 before hearing from more champions.
Ugh. I hope they all get sunburnt.
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