Champion & Skin Sale: Earth, Wind & Ninja
Posted by Xerath
on Mon, 2013-01-14 13:59
Scorched Earth Xerath
Greetings, mortals! It is I, Scorched Earth Xerath. An aborted apocalypse and a passing year have given me cause to reevaluate my (unending) life goals, and I have found myself pining for a new career, one that will take me away from destroying absolutely everything in my path. I… I have always loved music, you see, and had hoped to use my arcane skills to rock a double bass or two. Now’s my chance! 487 RP
I have spoken to Hextech Galio about joining this ensemble of mine. Our harmonies are quite spectacular, you see, and he’s taken a liking to the maracas. Imagine the freeform jazz segments! 260 RP
Surgeon Shen has auditioned as our funkalicious drum guru, and things seem to be going splendidly. He’s just ordered some extra cymbals for his interpretive percussion work. Soon we’ll be more famous… than Pentakill! Hahaha! 487 RP
With an almighty smash, Scorched Earth Xerath is suddenly crushed under a mighty coffin dropped from the skies. The lid falls open, and out steps the gargantuan form of Pentakill Mordekaiser.
These fools know nothing of Pentakill! Xerath can cast lightning, but do you know what a little spark does to the dark power of metal? Absolutely nothing. Take this broken fool away from me! 487 RP
As for you, Galio, you should have known better. A stony gatekeeper does not a rock god make, little pebble. Leave the metal to the pros. 440 RP
And Shen… my dear ninja. You do not taunt metal fans, and you do not feint. These are the tricks of kiddie rock. 395 RP
These musical clowns will be back on their feet before long. If you’re interested in drilling these pathetic fantasies out of their heads, act between January 15 and January 18 and let no other band, mortal or otherwise, aspire to be as great as the mighty Pentakill!