Yeah, see, Gangster Twitch here.
You know why dey call me the Plague Rat? It’s cause I poison rats. You ain’t squealin’, are ya? I jump outta the shadows and you’ll never know what hit ya. I put the "rat" in "rata-tat-tat," give them squealin’ squishies some of the ol’ one-two venom lead injection, heeheehuuhaahaa… But I digress.
I’m off to visit some “clients” of mine to “extort money” from them and “end their lives.” It’s just business, folks. Wanna come with? If they won’t pay up, maybe you will. I’ll even give you the family discount. Who’s up foist?
- This sad sack Amumu here, he cried to the coppers about the location of a certain valuable, illegal package meant for the illegal possession of yours truly. Did I say illegal? I meant "totally legit." You wrap up this mummy for me for 292 RP.
- Irelia, Willada Blades. Thinks she can triple-cross the boss with those steak knives of hers? No dice, Ionian. How about you dull up them blades for ol’ Twitch for 487 RP?
- Look at this bazoon, Varus, plinking those arrows into ‘tree of my best guys. I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – pay up or get a mouthful of poison. Wisely, he paid up, so he’s only 487 RP. I’m watching you, pal.
- Galactic Nasus thinks I won’t follow that fangouli into space to collect what he owes me? I’ll be doin’ some anthropomancy of my own: divination with his entrails! Grab this double-dealing dog for 260 RP.
- Scarlet Hammer Poppy’s tab is way in the red. Gambling debts, mostly. She ain’t the Iron Ambassador of the poker table, that’s for sure. Either I put her three feet under or you pay off that debt for 487 RP, capiche?
- This joker Coral Reef Malphite skipped town after stiffing ol’ Twitch on his share of the take. Hope he likes sleeping with the fishes down at dat reef of his. How about you save me a trip to the beach and take care of this? I gotta stir this poison all day. Family discount, 487 RP.
Well, that’s that. Business is business, see? These prices are only good from July 31 through August 3, so get on that, would ya? And if anyone messes with you, summoner, you let them know you’re working for the Twitch family now. Just remind ‘em what happens to big mouths when they least expect it - Plague Rata-tat-tat…
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