Friends! Acquaintances! Snacks! It is I, Gentleman Cho’Gath. It is my pleasure to welcome you back to my dastardly parlor. As you have probably already surmised, my humble invitation and request for your company was merely a thinly veiled ruse to bring you within Feasting distance. Ah, “range,” as you quaint fellows say. As a gentleman, however, I would never Vorpal Spike a guest in the back. Wait, what?! You don’t want to be eaten? Preposterous!
We are at an impasse, friend. It is in my nature to feast, you see, and no amount of velvet smoking jackets or high-quality cigars can change that very fact. Ah, I have it! A gentlemen’s agreement. If you can present me with a more refined, more distinguished snack option other than your own succulent self, then I shall spare your life. Let’s begin, shall we? Oh ho!
- The first course shall be… Cho’Gath?! How dare you suggest my unrefined, undignified self? I have no choice but to strongly reject your crass attempt at humor and discount my common counterpart to just 292 RP. How embarrassing… for you!
- While I appreciate the suggestion, Orianna would make a delectable delight but-for the very fact that she is made of metal. Do you take my dapper demeanor for that of a fool?! Take her away for 487 RP.
- Ah, Lee Sin, the Blind Monk. An excellent choice to Feast on, assuredly. He would never see it coming! I must decline, however, as he kicks all of the way down. Bad for the digestion, you see. You can have him for just 487 RP.
- Boneclaw Shyvana would make a terrific treat… for a pauper in his stew! I expect my meals deboned, not stabbing into my sensible and refined palette. I can demand such things, you know. Remove her from my sight for 487 RP.
- When you suggested Forsaken Olaf for my meal my monocle popped off and landed directly in my very expensive scotch. Not only have you ruined my 66’ single malt, but I want nothing to do with this vicious Viking. Have him for 260 RP.
- I came across a fascinating exhibit at the local history museum featuring Pharaoh Nidalee and am appalled you would suggest that I consume such a priceless artifact. She belongs in a museum, you uncultured swine! Add her to your own rare collection for just 487 RP.
These discounts shall only last from July 24 to July 27, so be sure to seize this opportunity and act post-haste. It seems, however, that all of your suggestions failed to sate my urbane and refined appetite. As per our prior agreement, I happily and eagerly await your acquiescence and imminent demise. Cheerio! OM-NOM-NOM-NOMNOMNOMNOM!!!!
Click here to comment